Talking to Strangers: Brooklyn, NY
Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.
By Sarah Rammos
Has a guy ever done something crazy to get your attention?
Unfortunately, no. I'm usually the one doing the crazy things to get their attention. In college there was this guy who I really liked, and I weaseled my way onto his intramural football team without him knowing, so that I could be closer to him. It totally worked out. We made out a couple weeks later. I just signed my name on his football team and showed up at practice one day. He was all "Who are you?" and I said, "Hi! I'm Meghan! I'm on your team, it's so nice to meet you!" I also inappropriately ask people out through email sometimes. That just happened, actually. My company works with tech companies, so it's actually probably bad, that we work together. But I've had to talk to this kid a number of times to get help for my computer. We've never met, but I Googled him, like every girl does, and he was really cute. I thought we had a really good connection over the phone, so I emailed him one day because I needed "help with my computer" — notice the quotation marks, by the way. I said I needed help with something, which was ludicrous, and he came and helped me with my fake issue and I decided a couple hours later to email again and said, "Oh hey, sorry to bother you twice in one day, but I needed help with something else. I'm planning to go get coffee this weekend but I can't possibly do that by myself. So I was wondering if you could help me out?" He emailed me back, it didn't work out, maybe he had a girlfriend or something or he was intimidated by me or whatever. But I'm usually the one doing the crazy things.
What's the craziest place you've ever had sex?
Well, the craziest sex I've ever had — I mean, it was in an apartment but it was all over the apartment — but it was in Paris, France with a Moulin Rouge dancer. I was studying abroad in college and we went to Paris for our fall break. My friend and I actually had a game called MegCat. Her name is Catherine. It's a hookup-points game, and I decided I wanted some points. So literally she and I walked over to a table. We didn't even know if these guys spoke English, but it turned out that they were Australian, and one of them was a Moulin Rouge dancer. For the first hour I actually thought he was a homosexual, and we were considering giving me extra points for hooking up with a homosexual, but it turns out he wasn't a homosexual, and I ended up getting a free ticket to the show the following night. I met him at a bar after the show and he took me home and we had the greatest sex of my life. It was amazing. It was everywhere. He was so attractive, so strong, so flexible. It was one of those situations where you know it's never going to happen again. I'm never going to see this person again, he's a Moulin Rouge dancer, he's so attractive. Did I even give him the right name? It was such a fantasy. It was amazing. So cheers to Luke and the Moulin Rouge!
What's your favorite position?
I'm not picky. How detailed should I get here? I would say me lying on the bed, him standing up against the bed. Me with my legs up, and him with his feet on the floor, waist high to the bed. I don't know what that's called, but it's a good one. We can call it the Meghan. That's ideal.
Have you ever been offended in the bedroom?
I don't know why guys think it's okay to have sex without a condom. So boys, always have one on you, and don't think it's okay to have sex without one. My first thought when that question arises is, "Who the fuck do you think I am? Of course we're using a condom."
What's the biggest age difference you've crossed in bed?
Another funny story — I met this guy who was actually my age. I worked with him. He had an older brother who worked with us as well. So we got to know each other really well. I really liked him. He was great. We slept together. He decided he wanted to join the army and he left. He was gone forever. We were both nineteen. So after he left, I stayed working at the same place for another eight or nine months, and eventually his brother made a move on me. He was twenty-nine, so he was ten years older than me, and he was the older brother of somebody I'd been with. We totally did it. We got a little messed up and we did it. It was fine. I mean, he was a great guy and it sort of just happened. We didn't do it again after that. But it wasn't like the age brought on extra experience or anything. I do remember being like, "Holy shit, I'm nineteen and he's twenty-nine." Dirty girl. Bad, bad Meghan.
NEXT: "There's crazy things normal people do and there's crazy things crazy people do…"
What do you do?
I'm an unemployed student. I go to the New School for art history. I wouldn't date anyone I go to school with. Not because of the guys who are there, but it's more like having to see someone you break up with. You may as well date someone you work with. Also not smart.
Was there a certain quality that attracted you to your boyfriend?
We've been together for five or so months. When we met we were both drunk and started talking about The Smiths. Musical taste isn't necessarily important; I've dated an opera student before. We had little musical crossover, but I think that there are just certain things you're not going to have in common with people.
Has anyone done anything crazy to get your attention?
Not necessarily. There's crazy things normal people do and there's crazy things crazy people do. There's that kind of dude at a bar who's just screaming and following you. There are people who spend too much money on you but they barely know you. There's a whole spectrum of crazy. Once some dude was trying to hook up with me and then he went on a rant about how Muslims needed to be wiped from the planet. That was kind of interesting. Racism is normally not a good trait in people.
Where's the craziest place you have ever had sex?
Union Square Park. I don't know how that happened. I'm pretty sure I was around fifteen at the time. That's where my friends and I hung out and got drunk when we were stupid teenagers. We didn't get caught.
Did you parents ever give you any advice about sex?
A good story about my parents' views on life is… you know that Meatloaf song "Paradise by the Dashboard Light?" When I was five or six I asked them why he would say he's in love with this girl when he wasn't really in love with her. My mom told me that guys say stuff like that to get laid. And that was her life advice for me: that guys say stuff like that just so they can get laid. It's a good piece of advice to give to a girl growing up in New York City.
What do you think of the dating scene here?
It depends what you're looking for — whether you're actually trying to find a relationship or just get laid. I mean, if you're trying to get laid, just stay at a bar until closing and you'll notice people start to pair off. You just have to dramatically drop your standards and you're going to get laid. You're set. As far as dating goes, it's a little more difficult at times. I find that most people are dating people who they know through someone else. I guess it's easier to meet people that way — to meet people who have some sort of crossover in their social circle. I'd rather date someone who has some sort of relationship with somebody I know.
Have you ever had a same-sex experience?
Yes. I feel like people categorize themselves too much, and I'm just not into that. The whole idea of labeling sexuality or gender isn't something I necessarily dig. I just think that everything's on a spectrum, and people lose sight of that. I would say I'm attracted to people, not a gender or a certain kind of person. I find that most of the kinds of guys I tend to date have dark hair and dark eyes. As far as girls go, I like Hispanic girls, more ethnic-type girls. But as far as guys go, I like white boys.
NEXT: "My ex-girlfriend worked at an Irish pub in Atlantic City…"
What do you do for a living?
I'm a television director. Does that get me laid? Yeah, it got me my wife! We started off working together. Like-minded people tend to work in the same field. We decided that we liked each other. It was weird that we worked together at first. It was very tricky. So we decided not to see each other while we worked together. But once she moved away and worked with other people, then we could date. Then it was fine. It was long-distance for a little bit. Communication is key to keep that going. No phone sex or anything though. I wish there'd been a bit more of that.
Have you ever been cheated on?
Actually, my ex-girlfriend worked at an Irish pub in Atlantic City. At the time, Pauly Shore was doing a show at the Taj Mahal. She was working at the pub, and she ended up shacking up with Pauly Shore during the time he was doing this show. But it was pretty humiliating knowing that Pauly Shore, the Weasel, weaseled me. That sucked. I actually went out and got a devil tattoo of a lady. It was very impulsive, but I felt that bad about it.
Did you parents ever give you any advice about sex?
My dad just told me in a weird way before I was even old enough to know what he was talking about. He told me just have a good time. I was thirteen or fourteen. I had no clue what he was talking about. He just wanted me to know that it was cool.
Have you ever been offended in the bedroom?
Not really. I mean, we're all in there together, you know?
Has anyone done anything crazy to get you attention?
Well, this is going way back, but in high school, this girl erased my name into my arm. She took an eraser and wore away the skin to the point of almost cutting herself, so at the end it said "Ron." It did not work. She was fucking crazy. That's so stupid.