Vanessa, 25

What do you do?
Barista by day, derby girl by night.

Do guys dig the derby?
A lot of them sexualize derby and stereotype it as, you know, girls rolling around touching each other. So sometimes you have to drive it home that no, this is a contact sport on wheels with real gear and real injuries. I get a lot of goofy pick-up lines from guys who are apparently into getting their asses kicked.

Does it work for them?
Ha, not really. I don't really have a type, or anything. I go for a range — I'm into interesting, quirky people who are really happy doing what they do.  

Do you have any dealbreakers?
If a guy won't go down on me that's it. It's not even a matter of quality, it's a matter of consideration. Like, if I just went down and sucked your dick, you'd better return the favor.

Like the take a penny/give a penny dish.
Exactly! You need balance it out. If you're that obviously selfish in bed, it's pretty safe to say you're going to suck in other areas of your life as well.

Are you usually the one to call the shots in bed?
No, not really. On the track and in other areas of my life, I'm pretty aggressive, so I like for someone else to take that role in bed. I mean, it's not like I never take on that position — if it's what he's asking for or what I'm feeling that night, no sweat. But, you know. It's nice to take a break.

 

Theresa, 24

What do you do?
I work in pharmaceutical advertising.

Do you ever date within the office?
No, I've been with my current boyfriend for about a year — he's a grad student at UIC.

Do you tend to stick with long-term relationships?
No, I'm not really a relationship sort of person, though for a long time I had a... is there a P.C. word for "fuck buddy"?

No.
I had a long-term fuck buddy. 

How long is long-term?
Like two years.

How does relationship sex compare with fuck-buddy sex?
Maybe friends with benefits is a better term... anyway. The sex with the fuck-buddy was... it was kind of awful, actually. But every once in a while, your body just really wants to go have sex, and there's this other person who satisfies that need, even if you aren't particularly fond of that person or the performance is sub-par. With my boyfriend, it was amazing from the very beginning. We started having sex pretty early on in the relationship, but it just keeps getting better.

Does amazing sex help the relationship?
Oh, yeah. But it's not the only thing — I definitely know him better now than I did in college, so having an emotional relationship has improved the sex. I mean, when you're having sex with a person and just trying to get off, they're obviously not paying too much attention to what works for you and you aren't really concerned about what's working for them. But with my boyfriend, there's a lot of trust and patience and attention.

That's a big one — trust.
I think about one-night stands, and I just couldn't do that. Or maybe it's just that I am not okay with inviting some stranger over to my house. Like, what do you do when you can't get rid of them? How fun would that conversation be? Me saying, "Who are you?" and him all like, "Breakfast?" No, I think I'm not a fan of one-night stands in general. But I guess that's how you wind up with a long-term fuck buddy.

 

Rob, 26

What do you do?
I'm in med school, and I draw blood at the hospital.

Do you get a lot of dates doing that?
No, absolutely not. I don't mix my personal and work life. So, you know, I can stick 'em, but I can't stick 'em.

Then where do you meet people?
Normal places — coffee shops. Shows. But I try not to date anyone directly from my social circle, because when I've done that in the past, the post break-up run-ins are always awkward.

I take it you don't usually remain friends with your exes.
No, I have a really serious case of the I-Forgot-Why-I-Broke-Up-With-Yous.

Is that bad?
It's the worst. Especially when you can't have enough space or time afterwards. Like, I dated this one girl and it just ended... it ended very badly. And then the next thing I know I see her walking around at school, and I start thinking things like, "Heyyy... she's attractive." And, "Heyyy... I am so lonely." So we get back together, and there's the back-together awesomeness, and then I have my freak-out because I remember that there was a reason we broke up, and things sort of fall apart from there.

Do you have a type?
Um... does she have a pulse?

Seriously?
Dude. All you need is love. And a pulse.

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