Monica Styles, 28

Are you from DC or are you here for Pride?
I live outside of Baltimore but I work here in DC.

What's your experience with the DC dating scene?
To give you the truthful answer, I've pretty much stopped dating. I've found that, especially in the gay culture, there's a lot of narcissism. People are very image-conscious. And honestly, I got tired of getting on Grindr! You know? So, I figure when the right man comes along, he'll come. It will happen naturally. I've decided to restructure where I find people, and find an activity that I like doing that's positive — either volunteering or being outdoors. There's a group called AdventureDC where gay men get together and go hiking/camping, and that's what I'm doing now.

What was your weirdest dating experience?
I was online at two in the morning, met a guy and drove to his hotel. And we start doing our thing on the bed and I notice there's a guy asleep on the next bed. I don't know if it was his boyfriend or what, but homeboy was just fast asleep right there in the bed next to us. But anyway, then I leave and I get a text message from the guy saying "Are you coming over?"

What? But you were just there...
Exactly. "Are you coming over?" I said "I was just there!" But what that told me is that the skank invited somebody else right after me!

And all this while another person was sleeping in the next bed! That's low.
Ugh, yes. After that, I was like, "No Grindr."

So, what are you looking for in a significant other?
Well, I have a lot of diverse interests. I know I'm in drag right now, but I work on cars, I love car racing, I like guns. But on the same token, I like cross-dressing and card-making and fashion and things like that. So it's been hard to find somebody that accepts me one-hundred percent. There are a lot of little niches in the community.

Are you looking for someone who has the same interests — like cars or cross-dressing — or maybe something to contrast or complement what you like?
If they share even half of my interests, that's okay. But I would like some people who are different also. That way they can bring some new things to me.

Do you have any dating dealbreakers?
Well, I'm interracial, so, someone who's not open-minded. I've dated thick people, thin people, rich, poor, whatever. It's what's on the inside that really counts for me.

DC Pride is a giant event. Would you say that DC is an open city for gay/queer people?
At least in the Dupont area. I don't work very far from here, and I get to manhunt and not have to worry if the guys are straight. I do love DC for that. It's very international; we have embassies from all over the world, and I've met people from everywhere.

Do you have any crazy exes?
Oh, yes. I've only had one relationship — I met him when I was seventeen and we were together for nine years. And he was a millionaire. When I was a kid, I just wanted somebody to take care of me. And with him, we lived in one of the most affluent areas in the country, in a million-dollar house. I drove a sports car. I had all kinds of nice stuff. I was very young and naïve. But eventually I realized that he was just ugly on the inside — controlling — and finally I left him. And he wound up getting with an eighteen-year-old. But I truly learned that money isn't everything. It's what's on the inside that counts. I really feel like he dragged my soul down, and nothing is worth that.

Well, it's really good that you got out of that. And now you can explore!
Oh, and I love being single! I'm like, "Fuck being with a man," for real! I can do whatever I want, and there's a lot of joy in that.