Talking to Strangers: Fort Worth, Texas

"Would tonight be a possibility?" "Let's not put the cart before the horse."

BY DOUGLAS LUCAS

Guy, 29 & Andrea, 30

What do you do?
Guy: I'm a funeral director.

I guess you don't get many dates from that.
G: No, I don't. Funeral-crashing is a big thing, though, like wedding-crashing.

You're pulling my leg.
G: No, no, I don't get many dates from my job at all.

Andrea, what do you do?
Andrea: To earn my keep, I'm a waitress. But I'm also a printmaker, an artist.
G: She actually just got back from Germany.

What was in Germany?
A: I did an art show. I do woodcuts mostly. I'm going into sculpture and installations. I got asked to go to Germany because of it, and while in Germany, got asked to go to Spain.

Congratulations. Now you're back in Fort Worth. Do much dating here?
A: Yeah!

What about you, Guy?
G: I date a little bit. But our approach here in Fort Worth... There's a huge significance put on being married earlier. My friends north of the Mason-Dixon don't really want to be married until they're 35. Here people want to be married at 25.

Neither of y'all are married, I take it.
G: No.
A: No thank you.

Marriage expectations...
G: I like new experiences and trying new things. If y'all want to breed and make your parents happy, that's fine, but my intention is to be happy.

Okay, Guy, tell us about your most recent hookup.
G: [Turns to Andrea.] Actually it was you last time! We were here at this bar. Last month. We decided to run back to my place. [Pause.] I feel like I gave her an orgasm.
A: Oh, God. [Pause.] Yeah, you did.
G: Then I asked her if she wanted to hang out for the rest of the night.
A: I didn't!
G: She said she wanted to go back to the bars. So we came back here, and then we parted our ways. It was a carnal pleasure. A sin of the skin.
A: Yeah, it went well. We're hanging out tonight.
G: Would tonight be a possibility?
A: Let's not put the cart before the horse.
G: Well, let's just feel it out.
A: I'm kind of jet-lagged. And the night's still young. [Waves to passerby.]
G: [Pause.] You have so many people to say Hi to.
A: Haha!

Have you been with anyone since him, Andrea?
A: No.

Guy, have you been with anyone since her?
G: No.
A: [Turns to Guy.] Yeah, right. Just say it. I'm not going to get my feelings hurt.
G: Honestly, no.
A: Well then what have you been doing?
G: Working my ass off!

So the hookup last month, what clinched the deal? You were talking at this bar, but then what made the hookup happen?
G: We actually weren't talking all that much.
A: I don't remember. I was drunk. Alcohol. Alcohol clinched the deal.

[Four women probably in their thirties pass by.]

G: They've got that Fort Worth style.

What makes them Fort Worth?
A: Because they're middle-aged—
G: Big hair—
A: And a little overweight.
G: Quintessential Fort Worth style.

Y'all both from here?
A: Yes.
G: Born and raised. My family's been here since the frontier days, 1860s.

How did y'all meet up tonight?
A: He called me. Because I called him last night.

Why did you call him last night?
A: To hook up! I had to go to sleep somehow.
G: I answered, but I was at my brother's house.
A: So I took a Valium.

Is he a good kisser?
A: From what I remember.
G: From what you remember?
A: Yeah, you are.

Is she a good kisser?
G: Yes. Yes she is. Excelente.

Commentarium

comments powered by Disqus