Talking to Strangers: Miami, FL

Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

by Sarah Rammos

James, 31

What do you do for a living?
I’m in the military.

Which branch?
Let’s just go with "the military." Leave it there.

What’s the most daring place you’ve ever had sex?
On a ferris wheel at an amusement park. I think I was like fifteen. I met the girl at the bottom of the ferris wheel, started talking to her. Kept talking for ten or fifteen minutes, and when we got to the top of the ferris wheel, we ended up having sex. It’s not that hard sometimes, chicks can be easy.

Do you have any other hookup stories?
Hmm... let’s go with the stripper in Vegas. She was a twenty-two-year-old stripper, I was probably twenty-eight at the time. I met her at the strip club while I was out in Las Vegas, and she seemed like a pretty cool girl. We ended up hooking up the next morning because her friend who she came out with that night was upset that she showed interest in me. So she ran me out the back door of the club, made out with me, said, “I’ll call you in a little bit,” and then she got taken off by her friend. Then like twenty minutes later she calls me up saying, “I’m so sorry, blah blah blah, I wanted you to come over, I wanted to come hang out with you.” I was like, "Whatever," but I ended up driving down and hooking up with her the next morning. That bitch was fucking psycho, though.

Any particular examples of that?
She came to visit me for New Year’s this year, freaked the fuck out, and cried in the bathroom for two hours, because she’s a fucking chick. And then after walking across the street, she took off her shoes and jacket in forty-degree weather, and hid in only her party dress in the bushes because she was so hammered she thought I might be her ex-husband from seven years ago. She stayed there for two hours while I tried to stay in the parking lot to calm her down.

What do you look for in a girl?
She has to be a "7"or above. It depends on her height and everything, but roughly under 120 pounds, nice rack, great ass. And you know, not smoking meth in a fucking bathroom somewhere. I mean, the only thing anybody ever really knows about anybody else before they hook up is what they look like. All they’ve got to do is think that you’re hot. It doesn’t matter what you do or who you are, you just have to think that they’re hot . After that, if you want a relationship with them, that’s when the whole — here’s some air quotes for you — “personality” shit comes in.

Do you have any dating dealbreakers?
Other than smoking meth in bathrooms? Lying, being a prostitute, or otherwise just being a complete douche-nozzle whore. I would say the Kardashians would be the first people who come to mind as an example.


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