Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.
What do you do for a living?
I’m in the military.
Let’s just go with "the military." Leave it there.
What’s the most daring place you’ve ever had sex?
On a ferris wheel at an amusement park. I think I was like fifteen. I met the girl at the bottom of the ferris wheel, started talking to her. Kept talking for ten or fifteen minutes, and when we got to the top of the ferris wheel, we ended up having sex. It’s not that hard sometimes, chicks can be easy.
Do you have any other hookup stories?
Hmm… let’s go with the stripper in Vegas. She was a twenty-two-year-old stripper, I was probably twenty-eight at the time. I met her at the strip club while I was out in Las Vegas, and she seemed like a pretty cool girl. We ended up hooking up the next morning because her friend who she came out with that night was upset that she showed interest in me. So she ran me out the back door of the club, made out with me, said, “I’ll call you in a little bit,” and then she got taken off by her friend. Then like twenty minutes later she calls me up saying, “I’m so sorry, blah blah blah, I wanted you to come over, I wanted to come hang out with you.” I was like, "Whatever," but I ended up driving down and hooking up with her the next morning. That bitch was fucking psycho, though.
Any particular examples of that?
She came to visit me for New Year’s this year, freaked the fuck out, and cried in the bathroom for two hours, because she’s a fucking chick. And then after walking across the street, she took off her shoes and jacket in forty-degree weather, and hid in only her party dress in the bushes because she was so hammered she thought I might be her ex-husband from seven years ago. She stayed there for two hours while I tried to stay in the parking lot to calm her down.
What do you look for in a girl?
She has to be a "7"or above. It depends on her height and everything, but roughly under 120 pounds, nice rack, great ass. And you know, not smoking meth in a fucking bathroom somewhere. I mean, the only thing anybody ever really knows about anybody else before they hook up is what they look like. All they’ve got to do is think that you’re hot. It doesn’t matter what you do or who you are, you just have to think that they’re hot . After that, if you want a relationship with them, that’s when the whole — here’s some air quotes for you — “personality” shit comes in.
Do you have any dating dealbreakers?
Other than smoking meth in bathrooms? Lying, being a prostitute, or otherwise just being a complete douche-nozzle whore. I would say the Kardashians would be the first people who come to mind as an example.
Where are you from?
I’m from here, but I was living in Peru for three months over the summer. I didn’t really date while I was there. Honestly, I just got drunk a lot and hooked up the whole time, and I don’t really remember much of it. It’s definitely more of a hookup scene in Peru, because there’s a lot of tourists. People just go there to get really wasted and do a lot of drugs and hook up. But if you’re Peruvian, then you obviously have an easier time meeting Peruvians to date. I have a couple friends there who are in pretty serious monogamous relationships and they love each other. But I was there to have fun and most people are just there to have fun. I’m at a pretty interesting point in my life. I don’t want anything serious, but the fact that I’m recently out of a relationship makes me vulnerable to more open, purely physical relationships. But I know what’s best for me, and even though right now it’s best for me to not be in any relationship at all, it’s hard to stay away from those physical relationships because we all have those kinds of desires. That’s kind of where I am right now. I kind of miss the intimacy, but I don’t want a long-term commitment of any kind.
Do you have any crazy hookup stories?
Actually no, because since I was about fourteen, I’ve been in a series of pretty serious monogamous relationships. I’m single now, just went through a long-distance breakup. Long-distance relationships just don’t work. A lot of the time somebody makes a mistake and the other person can't forgive, even if it's an honest mistake. In Peru I didn’t do anything sexual, I just made out with one — I mean, I only remember making out with one guy. I made out with a guy from Wales at a bar, and he’s my friend now, and it’s really awkward. I made out with some guy who worked with me and it was awkward because he didn’t even speak English. I don’t remember how it happened. We were really drunk, he just kept buying beer, and I was probably just like, "Hey, you’re kinda cute, let me make out with you."
Where’s the craziest place you’ve ever had sex?
Since I’ve had a lot of monogamous relationships, it’s mostly places like my parents’ room or my parents’ bathroom. Or in cars with other people in the car. Not even friends, but like, family or something really creepy like that. My boyfriend and I were on a long-distance drive to the Keys or something, and we didn’t have full-on sex; it was more like fooling around under a blanket in the backseat. This wasn’t with my most recent ex, I haven’t been with this guy for like four years.
What’s your favorite position?
I like it when I’m on the bottom. I like being controlled. I like it when I’m submissive, when the guy takes control. But at the same time it depends, because sometimes they just try to only take care of their needs and you’re just sitting there like, "What the fuck, I’m really bored." But I’ve never done anything really crazy. I don’t want to say that I’ve usually been more like the wife-type material, but sort of. That’s kind of boring, right? But I have had sex with more than one person, and most of the time it ends up being the same thing. I’m on bottom, they’re on top, doggy-style, or whatever. It doesn’t really matter. I’m open to just doing whatever pleases both of us. Even if it’s really awkward positions, I’ll try it. But I don’t have a name for it, I just do whatever the fuck happens.
What do you do for a living?
I’m a server at the Cheesecake Factory. I hate my uniform when I have to walk around the mall, but my job actually has gotten me laid. I always end up flirting with the hostess, and there are always cute servers around. You meet a lot of different people and a lot of different personalities. It’s awesome. It’s pretty common to be messing around in the car in the parking lot after work. Stuff like that. I’ve only ever had one one-night stand, and it was with a hostess.
Do you have any crazy exes?
Yes! I would hang out with my guy friends and she would think I was fucking them, even though I’m totally straight. It got pretty awkward. This girl would literally stalk every single little thing that I did. So I’m glad to be out of that.
Have you ever done anything crazy to get a girl’s attention?
Once while I was flirting with a girl, I taught her how to ride my motorcycle. While I was drunk. She was pretty tipsy also. She busted her ass pretty bad. But it got me in the door! I was able to get her number afterwards, and I’m talking to her still. I’m not sleeping with her, but we’re talking. I’m in the door.
What’s your favorite position?
Girl on top, reverse cowgirl, because the girl’s kind of taking control. I like it when she takes control, when she takes initiative during sex. It’s usually the guy doing most of the work. But I prefer that if we’re talking about sex in a relationship. If it’s a one-night stand, that kind initiative on her part may be expected already, so it’s cool in a relationship where it’s not as common.
What do you think of the dating scene in Miami?
I like it. I’ve dated quite a few girls, but I also have a lot of friends who don't ever really date around that much. I don’t know what it is about me, I guess I just like talking to people more than everyone else. I don’t really approach girls, though. If I’m in a one-on-one situation, like at school or work, I’ll eventually end up talking to a girl in that way. But I’ll never go out to a bar to talk to girls.
What’s one thing you wish you could change about the opposite sex?
Nothing. I prefer for girls to be themselves. I wouldn’t want them to change because that would ruin the fun of it. That would just make everybody the same person. I like uniqueness.
What did your parents tell you about sex?
They never talked to me about sex. Not at all. They don’t want to know about it, they don’t want to think about it. It’s a bit of a "we respect your privacy" kind of thing. They pretty much told me, “Don’t do things that will get you sick.” So that obviously covered safe sex and everything, but that’s all they were going to say. They’re pretty traditional, they obviously don’t want me sleeping around with a bunch of different girls and stuff. But honestly, this is all just what I assume. They never told me anything specifically about any of it because we just don’t talk about these things. I didn't really even introduce my parents to girlfriends I’d bring home. It was more like, “Hi, this is so-and-so, we’re going to go play video games in my room.” Little did they know what was really going on.