Talking to Strangers: Miami, FL

Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

by Sarah Rammos

Gricel, 43

What do you think of the dating scene in Miami?
I've lived here my whole life, and I think it sucks a little bit because it's all about sex. It's not based on getting to know the other person. It's all about wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, and it shouldn't be like that. At this moment I'm not dating, I'm just living for myself and learning more about who I am, what I like — just enjoying people, enjoying what's around.

What's the biggest age difference you've ever crossed in bed?
I did pick up one guy who was much younger than me. He was twenty-five, I was thirty-five. It was a one-night stand; I picked him up at the bar. We went to the beach and... you know. The sand and the moon and the whole nine yards. It was nice and simple, no dilemma, no drama. I never saw him again. But I've never slept with a much older man, just younger. Younger guys are just experiencing things, you know? They're not serious like older men are. That's a good thing, sometimes. But when someone my age is trying to meet somebody who's settled, or somebody who just wants to settle down and be with just one person, it's hard.

What's the craziest place you've ever had sex?
A horse stable. It was somewhere that the guy worked. I love horses, so he took me there. It was nice, simple, quiet.

What do you look for in a man?
Ah... my best friend. Someone that I'm comfortable with, someone that I can talk to about my insecurities, my concerns, my goods, my bads.

Did your parents ever tell you anything about sex?
Never. My parents are Cuban, and Cubans are hardcore. When you talk about sex or gender to them they think that there's something seriously wrong with you and they need to take you to a doctor. So basically, it's really hard to say anything like that to your parent. They ignore everything, pretend it's not happening.

Do you have any crazy exes?
I had the war and I had the battle. My ex is an addict. I was with him for nine years, and he's a crack addict. Not to say that like a joke — it's not a joke, it's a serious thing. I left him like five times and went back with him five times. So it's a really crazy thing that you put yourself through, but you grow from it, you know what I mean? Nine years is not a joke; it's a long time. So it's been two years now that we've been separated, and I'm trying to get myself back to who I am, and it's been a journey. I'm trying to capture who I am right now. I enjoy who I'm around now, who I meet. Life is a gift, and what you experience is a gift — I learned that from that relationship.

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