Mercedes, 40

What do you think of the dating scene here in Miami?
I’ve always lived here, and even though I’m married I always go out with my single friends. It’s a little crazy now, not like before. Back in the day it was a little more decent, everybody was out to help each other. If someone saw you a little too drunk everyone would always look out for you. Now you have to watch to make sure nobody puts something in your drink. In the dating scene everybody’s just out to fuck. It’s not about serious relationships or anything like that. It’s different, a little more animalistic.

Have you ever done anything crazy to get a guy’s attention?
I used to race cars and motorcycles. Once I tell a guy I ride a motorcycle, that’s all I need to do. They’re like, “Oh shit.” I still ride, I have a Ducati 600 now. I met my husband because I was in an accident and flipped the car over three times, and he was one of the people who came out to help me. From there we started talking and just connected. And that was sixteen years ago.

Has your sex life with your husband changed over the years?
We’re better now, but we experiment more. After sixteen years, you have to keep it going because if you lose touch he’s going to go to somebody else. My husband works for a nightclub, so he sees boobs and tits all the time, I can’t just sit there and do nothing. We have to experiment. Always try something new, don’t be afraid to use toys, okay? Toys are a major thing. Just try something. I have always believed that you just have to try something the first time. Don’t bash it because you have a fear of it, don’t ever be afraid to go out and try it. Whether it’s a different event, a different group, just try it. If you don’t like it, then you stay away, but it doesn’t hurt to try it.

Do the two of you have any great hookup stories?
A long time ago my husband and I were at a hotel having sex after a rave, and he fell on a glass table and got cut. It was actually a major turn on for some reason, seeing all the blood. That’s when a fascination with blood play got started. It got heavier from there. We would attend parties at the Fetish Factory, and became a part of a small blood cult. First we would all go and have blood taken to make sure that nobody had any diseases. But it became a small group of people who would go and have orgies and parties and things like that. Everybody knows they’re clean, so we would get together and go out to clubs, go to The Kitchen club, and just go back to a hotel together afterwards. It’s not always a slutty thing because I just want to meet people; it’s not like I’m fucking everybody. I don’t see it that way. I am a mother. I just want to go out and explore and enjoy life. My daughter is a teenager, so I have to be a little careful with what I say around her, but my husband and I still go out and have fun. We tell her that we’re getting a hotel some nights because it’s too far and we don’t want to drive home, she doesn’t even question it. I raised her right. Maybe one day I’ll tell her exactly what we’re getting up to, but maybe not.

Did your parents discuss sex differently with you than you discuss it with your daughter?
Hell yeah. My parents are old-fashioned Cubans; they didn’t really talk to me about sex at all. I learned about everything from my gay uncle who showed me the video of what happens when somebody gets pregnant. When I saw it, I freaked the fuck out. But now, I sit down with my daughter and tell her about everything. I tell her I don’t want to be a grandma, I’m too young for that. I show her the videos, I talk to her very openly about it. I bought her condoms. Of course, she threw them away, and said, “Ew, Mom,” but I think that as long as you teach your child right then you’re going to be okay.

Where’s the craziest place you’ve had sex?
I once did it at a club next to the bar. That was awesome. It wasn’t even a sex kind of club, it was at Cameo. He goes, “Sit on top of me,” so I just sat on top of him and we had it out. I was freaking out, thinking that people were looking at us but I was so drunk I didn’t care. It was all good. But this is all with my husband so it wasn’t so bad.

Do you have any crazy exes?
I did have a few crazy ones who did come back and offer me the world, riches beyond riches, but it was during my raver days. With exes, if it wasn’t going to happen then, it isn’t going to happen now, so I never went for it. Once I was at a party with one of my exes, and he decided to go light up his whole car full of lights, and was standing there like, “Please take me back” in front of the car with all these flashing lights. It didn’t work. Not gonna happen.

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