Billie, 26

What do you do for a living?
I just applied to Graduate School for my Master’s in Social Work.

What do you look for in a partner?
I look for someone reliable, someone who’s aware of cultural issues and gender issues, someone who’s really funny, open-minded and non-judgmental. Just a person open to different things. That’s really important, being aware of what’s going on in society and how it affects people—men and women.

Tell me about the last date you were on.
The last date was…in the beginning of February? It was at a coffee shop in Dumbo. It went well, and… we made plans to meet up again, but it just kind of never happened. We had made a date to go to a museum (for) the next time, but he got sick and then said he’d text to reschedule and didn’t. And I had done enough pursuing at that point that I wasn’t then going to continue to pursue for that.  You know… I feel like it was in his court. I was like, Alright. You get used to flakiness, I think, at a certain point. And I hadn’t really seen that up until recently. 

I started dating in college and I had a long-term boyfriend, then I came home and didn’t date for a while, and now I’ve been dating for a year and a half—and I’ve met some pretty reliable guys—but the more you date, the more you realize that people in general are just kind of flaky. And I’m not a big fan of the ‘game playing’, or “Oh! I didn’t really get that text until...!”—You know, I just am pretty over it. 

Let’s talk about red flags.  
When people speak in a way that shows that they’re not taking responsibility for themselves, that’s a huge red flag. It’s really easy to gauge someone’s emotionally maturity, when they feel like the world is responsible for their problems. Other than that…I don’t know. I have trouble knowing when to stay with someone and when it just doesn’t feel right.  I also have a theory, that no matter what I feel in the beginning—even if I feel like the guy is vulnerable and he really likes me—in the end, I’m always going to get hurt more. That is my theory. And…that’s okay, I guess. 

Were you ever caught in a lie?
I don’t really lie a lot. I’m not usually in a situation that calls for lying. I won’t lie, but I’ll like—I’m trying to think of something that’s similar to lying—I’ll google the crap out of a guy before I meet him, or even after. Because I’ll know something about him that he doesn’t know that I know, and then I’ll have to pretend to not know it—because I found his Twitter or something. 

Did you ever ask for closure, and regret it later?
You know what, no. I’ve only gotten good closure, and I was actually thinking about this. Well actually [laughs]—with the first guy after my ex, —I ran into him randomly, two weeks after I…very badly broke it off with him, in a very immature way.  I insensitively broke it off with him. Well, I didn’t think I mattered that much—again, that’s me trying to rationalize why I was an asshole. But I really didn’t think that’s he’d give much of a shit. And then I knew, when he didn’t respond to me, that I probably did matter to him. Anyway—so I ran into him about two weeks later, tried to approach him to explain myself, and he did not want to hear it. I was like,“Wow! I didn’t get my way. That’s amazing...He wants nothing to do with me!”, so the way I had broken it off,  that was his deal breaker [laughs]. It’s not like I even wanted to get back, I just wanted to explain. And sometimes, you’re not going to be able to. 

Tell me about a date you will never forget.   
So, I dated someone last summer—and we’re still friends—He was overzealous, and he planned a picnic in Central Park. It was probably the third time we saw each other. He made these vegetarian sandwiches—I’m a vegetarian—he made lemon-limeade, brought blankets, Crazy Straws, and lots of things…and whoopee cushions, because he used to do kids’ parties [laughs].. He’s a theatre type, a very eccentric guy. I think he dressed up as a Tim Burton— like, an Alice in Wonderland- type clown. Who was that? The Mad Hatter. He’s the kind of guy who would play on the subway, it’s just part of his weird…nature. So he had all these party favors and it was great. We sat there and made these fart sounds [laughs] while the other people around us were having romantic, normal dates. It was pretty good. So that’s a happy colorful experience. 

I continued to date him for two months. It started really fast, and it was insane and we were addicted to each other, and then it kind of blew up…and then it ended. Which was good for me because it was kind of a stressful relationship—he had extremes, and he just doesn’t lead a regular life, so I was always worried about him (not) taking care of himself—but I don’t think anyone has understood me the way this guy does. And I think I understood him.