Love & Sex

Talking to Strangers: New York, NY

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Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.


Jackie, 25

 

What do you do?
I'm an art model. Naked.

Have you ever given naked shots to a boyfriend?
All the time. If you come home from work one day, there's a very high likelihood that I'll be wearing stilettos and fishnets and crotchless panties. I like dressing dirty under my work clothes. One day I had a really long skirt, but I had a garterbelt and thigh-highs on all day. I looked like a librarian, but I was so fucking slutty under that outfit. So, yeah, I send naked pictures all the time. Every time I get a new photo shoot from my photographers, I send them to everyone.

I always figure that I should be showing this shit off now.
Exactly. In another five years, this shit's going to be on the floor. I'm gonna look back and think, "Gee, I was pretty cute." I feel like when people get older, they're always like, I should have walked around naked. My mom's like, "Be careful of those photographers, you don't want to end up naked on the internet." I'm like, "I'm already naked on the internet!" People will do anything you want when you're naked on the internet. Boys are the stupidest things in the world.

Why do you say that?
Because you show them a naked picture and you can pretty much get whatever you want. You don't even have to actually sleep with them. They'll mail you things. It's pathetic.

They mail you things?
People have purchased me things, and really, because I showed you my tits? I mean, I know they're wonderful tits, but this is highly ridiculous.

Men's minds confuse me sometimes.
It's fine, as long as they're buying me clothes.

If you like a guy, how do you make it happen?
I put my hand on his leg and say, "Are we doing this?" I tried this with someone at work, and it worked.

If a guy wants to get with you, what does he have to do?
Be really dorky and nice. I don't like anyone rolling up to me in their tight Hanes Ts. I like a ripped guy, but with the guy I'm seeing, I didn't know he was ripped until we got naked. He kept it very well hidden. I like the internet, so internet jokes. If you're part of a forum or have glasses, I probably love you. Shaggy hair. Just be a dork. You can't know that you're cute, you can't know you're charming, or I won't have sex with you.

What's the craziest place you've had sex?
I don't do public stuff. That shuts me off emotionally, and if I hear or see someone, I just can't. I'm like, "I'm getting friction burn. Let's just go get some nachos." But probably the chair. He'll be doing work on his swivel chair and I'm like, "Hey, how you doing?" You're only using the top half, I can use the bottom half.

Do you have any dealbreakers?
Any guy who starts talking about how smart he is isn't very smart. If you can't speak properly, you're so unattractive. Or if you're mean to someone, like if we go on a date and you're mean to the waitress. The way you treat salespeople is a big indicator. My ex-boyfriend used to talk to waitresses like they were the stupidest people on the planet.

Have you ever offended anyone in the bedroom?
I start giggling during sex sometimes. Something that happened earlier in the day will pop into my head, and I'll lose it. And they're like, "What's so funny?" And you can't say, "Nothing," because they'll think it's about their penis. It always comes down to the penis.

 

Jared, 28

What do you do for a living?
I just opened a pizza parlor a couple doors down.

Sweet. Does that get you dates?
Not yet. I tried online dating. I've only been here in New York for five weeks. So I did online dating and got a few dates that way. I've come up with a test before I meet them. I'll break the first date the day of, and if they freak out on me, that's warning sign number one. I make the date, plan it, break it the morning of, and see what their reaction is.

Have you met any crazy girls?
Yeah. I had one girl who seemed really nice, really sweet. We got back to her place, got to the bedroom, and she open-hand slapped the shit out of me. Gave me a black eye, dude.

What!?
Like a full-on, wham! That's just what she was into, I guess. I'm not into the pain thing.

Yeah. What'd you do?
I still had sex with her, but it was really awkward.

Where are you coming from?
Texas.

Are the girls different in Texas?
I haven't met a whole lot of New York girls, so it's hard to judge, but at a glance, yeah, they are different. The girls down south, they're a little… I wouldn't say ignorant, but it's a different type of girl. Girls here are more sophisticated, more cultured, whatever. Faster moving… I like it.

Have you ever been offended in the bedroom?
Yeah, I got slapped!

Oh yeah, right. All right. Have you ever offended anyone in the bedroom?
Yeah, actually. This is embarrassing. I was engaged. It was actually my fiancé at the time. We'd been together for a while, so it was time to let things loose a little bit. The ol' thumb in the ass. She totally freaked out. Locked herself in the bathroom.

Oh no!
Freaked the fuck out. It was so weird. It was… I dunno, man. Maybe I should've asked about that one first.

Maybe you should have started with the pinky.
"Hey, I'm getting ready to do this!"

Niah, 26

 

What do you do for a living?
I work at an off-Broadway theater as a production-assistant-slash-bitch.

Does that get you laid?
Um…no. Not at all, actually. Honestly, clubs are where I usually tend to meet dates. I don't really talk to them. I just dance, and then we do names after.

What's the longest you've danced with a guy without talking to him?
At least four songs.

If you invest four songs in a guy, is that like an all-nighter?
No. What if he says something stupid?

That's true. That's what I was thinking.
Or what if I turn around and I'm like, "Ohh, that's what you look like. Yeah, no." So no, four songs gets you nothing, except an introduction. Maybe.

If a guy wants to make it happen with you, what does he need to do?
Be respectful. Don't touch my butt. No butt touching. Be in full pursuit, don't make me work for it.

Do you have any crazy ex-boyfriends?
Yeah, I do. More than one, actually. One had alcoholism issues and liked to steal my car and do fucked-up things like that.

Wait, like it was a hobby of his?
Well, he did it once and didn't feel bad about it, so I'll call it a hobby. When you think that's funny, that's the problem. The second one, he was a citizen of another country, so I just think his morals and values were in a different place than mine. But still crazy. Like getting wasted with girls he didn't know and then inviting them back to our house to party. That's kind of crazy, right? Your girlfriend doesn't want you to bring home crazy drunk girls that you just met. I don't want introductions. I don't want them to eat my food.

Is there a type you usually go for?
Accents. Yeah, accents get me every fucking time. It can't be southern because I'm from the South, and that does nothing. Usually English, Scottish, not Aussies anymore, and South Africans. They have a sexy accent going on for sure. Or playing the guitar. If you play music, if you're a musician, pretty hot.

I just want somebody to write me songs.
Yes! Write me a song. And sing my name in the chorus multiple times.

Have you ever been offended in the bedroom?
No. Bring it on.

 

Monique, 28

What do you do for a living?
I'm a musician. I'm a singer. My group's name is Sappho's Journey.

Does that get you a lot of dates?
I don't know actually. To be honest with you, I don't know. Should I lie and say yes? Because I could lie. I've never really used it as a card. I mean, it did help me get this chick's number once, but I dunno.

Are you from around here?
Originally I'm from California, but I've been here for five years.

Is dating different in California?
Yes. Men in California are very superficial. I get more game here than I did in California. I gained thirty pounds when I came here, but when I was there, I lost thirty pounds, just to get more action.

What's your favorite hook-up story?
It would probably be this guy that lived in San Bernardino. We had the best chemistry. He'd come over and we'd smoke, we'd hang out, we'd have really great experimental, rough…

What kind of experimental?
He would choke me and stuff. I liked that. It wasn't like, "Oh, he's going to kill me." But when we were doing it, it was really intense. There are kinky things that are pleasurable and that was one I really enjoyed.

He was taking charge. That sounds hot.
It was different. When I have sex with someone, I'm there to please the other. I think if everyone was like that, each individual, sex would be good. If you go in there thinking, "I'm going to please that person," the other person is going to do the same. Naturally, if men were more like that — not trying to rag on every man — but that's why I date women too. Sometimes guys watch a lot of porn and they think that women are supposed to give head first, and that's the end of it. Or they like to hit it from the back and that's it. They don't ever think about how you pleasure that woman so she can come out of her shell.

Have you ever been offended in the bedroom?
It happens. There are more selfish men out there than you think.

Have you ever gotten up and walked out?
The sad thing is, as strong as I may seem, I don't just walk out. Sometimes I just play it cool. Because I don't want to hurt anybody's ego. But I've had some shit where I felt like I was like, "Why don't you just give me 500 dollars and we'll call it a day?" How about you just pay my rent and we can do this like once a month, and I'll just lie down for you.

What differences do you notice between dating men and women?
There's a big difference. A big, big difference.

Guys think that the penis is everything.
The penis… dude, loving a woman's body is very hard. My ex was like, "You've got to be slower and softer." She would get mad at me because I was so used to being with dudes. And when she would please me, man, it was fucking phenomenal.

Chad, 22

What do you do for a living?
I build signs.

You build signs?
Yeah.

Does that get you chicks?
It has.

It has? Really?
Yes.

What kind of girls does that bring in?
Artistic. Usually, artistic girls, or… I'll say, open-minded.

Do you have a favorite hookup story?
I went to Kmart once, with family. I saw one of the employees there and I'm like, "Wow, she's hot." So I'm trying to get her attention. And she just would not respond. No response whatsoever. But then this elderly woman needed help. So I stopped the girl, because now I had a reason to. I pointed out the old lady who needed help. And then I was like, "I needed help too, and you'd prefer to help an old woman versus my young, handsome self."

That's awesome.
We ended up in this lounge area, we started talking and she was like, "Yeah, I'm a nympho."

That's how she introduced herself?
Well, no. We'd started talking and it just came up in the story that she was a nympho. And I'm like, "So, what are you doing right now?" Then we ended up going to her car for something, and it was a car, so…

And she was a nympho.
Yeah, so I took advantage of the situation.

Was your family still shopping, while you're…
Yeah. I actually almost got left behind. I called my cousin like forty-five minutes after the initial conversation. And he's like, "Dude, we're leaving. Where are you?" And I'm like, "I'll be right there. I'll be right there." Twenty minutes after that, I get another phone call: "Dude, your mom's about to kill you. Where are you?" I go back to Kmart, they're not there anymore. They're in Best Buy now and I'm like, "Aw shit." Now I've got to make my way all the way to the other side of this shopping center.

Did you tell your mother where you were?
No.

Have you ever been offended in the bedroom?
When I first started having sex, I was younger, so I deepened my voice so it was more like, "Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh." And this girl was like, in the middle of it, she's moaning herself and I'm like, "Urgh." And she's like, "Will you stop? You sound like you're an idiot." And I'm like, "[long pause] All right." So, the whole rest of the time was me trying to have sex without moaning, period.



Alex, 22

 

What do you do for a living?
I work in the billing department of a cell-phone company.

Does that ever get you dates?
A guy tried to have phone sex with me one time. I was telling my friend about this earlier. He said, "You sound like a girl, and you might have a vagina so…"

What did you do?
I said I wasn't actually a woman.

What kind of guys do you like?
Really feminine guys, with skinny jeans and long hair.

Any crazy ex-boyfriends?
After we went out, one of them got a tattoo of a mermaid coming out of a martini glass. Heard it through the grapevine.

Have you ever been offended in the bedroom?
No, but I did have a boyfriend who accidentally peed all over me in bed and it was totally fine. Everything is cool.

Really accidentally?
Really accidentally. He was drunk.

Where's the craziest place you've had sex?
One time I had sex in a backyard. My high-school boyfriend suggested it, and I was like, "Okay, I'll comply. I'm a submissive girlfriend, so whatever you want."

If a guy wants to make it happen, what does he need to do?
I guess just come up to me and say, "Hey." It's not that hard.

What if you want to make it happen with a guy?
Just drink a lot and hope that I fall into the right person. The tactic for the pathetic.

What do you think is the hottest thing someone has ever done for you?
I don't know. I'd prolly have to go back to the peeing-on-me thing. That was actually a turn-on, now that I think about it.

Interviews by Meghan Pleticha. Photography by Sean McGurn.