Talking to Strangers

Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

 

 

Maren, 22

What do you do for a living?
I just got fired, so I'm unemployed. But I'm actually a musician.

What'd you get fired from?
A salon job. Just a random New York paycheck job.

Well, I'm sorry you got fired. What kind of music do you play?
In the past it was rock, and lately it's been more traditional country music. I play a little guitar, but I'm mostly a singer. 

Which of those gets you more action?
As a girl? Being a singer.

What kind of guy do you go for?
Dirty dudes. Basically, all I've dated are musicians — people who've been on the road for a long time and don't really get a chance to shower. The more they're into playing their instrument, the hotter they are. I've only dated lead singers. I dated one drummer and that turned out to be a disaster.

Drummers are kind of crazy.
They are. Not as crazy as lead singers, but I can handle lead singers, because I can relate to them.

Do you have any crazy exes?
Um, all of my exes are crazy actually. 

How do you know they're crazy? 
Well, they call me names after the fact, and then a year later I find out they were cheating on me the whole time. And they act like they did nothing wrong. But that's just musicians. That's life.

If a guy wants to get with you, how does he make it happen?
Either play me a really sexy song or get me a lot of whiskey and I will be yours. 

Have you ever been offended in the bedroom?
No, I haven't. I've dated perfect gentleman in the bedroom, which is unfortunate. 

 

 

Anthony, 27

What do you do for a living?
I have a business consulting company in Hong Kong. 

How are the girls different abroad?
That's a very long conversation. A lot of it comes, obviously, with the basic culture being different. But in China, there's none of the phobias with Christian morals and Christian ideals. They have Christianity there, but it's not, like, the basis of the culture.

Is it an advantage to be from the States?
It is definitely an advantage to be a white male, single, and in your twenties.

What kind of girl do you usually go for?
Um, I really like girls who are articulate. Who can express their ideas. I actually expect a somewhat culturally savvy person. You meet a lot of girls who have never been abroad.

Do you have any favorite hook-up stories?
A friend of mine said to one of his girlfriends, "Tell your friend she can fuck a foreigner." And then she pretty much walked over and was like, "Can we go home now?" 

Oh my God.
I'd met the girl less than five minutes ago. She was like, "I've never had sex with a foreigner." She was rich and young, and she offered me the keys to her apartment. Her father had some huge-ass factory somewhere and she had nothing to spend her money on. She saw me and was like, "Can I buy you?" It was quite flattering. 

Has anyone ever offended you in the bedroom?
Once I was with a girl, and you know, I had whiskey dick. I mean, it was hard enough, but not hard enough to come. She was insulted, and I was like, "It's not you." You know, I try to please. And when you think you're pleasing a girl and then she's still unhappy... I was somewhat offended. I mean, I put my ankle into it, if you will.  

What?
That's a Southern term. Might have to look that one up.

 

 

Kisha, 30

What do you do for a living?
What do I want to do, or what do I actually do?

Both. 
I want to do all things creative. I'm actually a development manager for a non-profit company. 

Do you have any favorite hook-up stories? 
I actually met somebody here, in this bar, and we got along and we were both very sad that we couldn't leave New York for the holidays. And then I went to his apartment and we had sex. 

So you eased your sadness?
We commiserated.

What do you look for in a date?
Definitely a sense of humor. And then, I guess, as far as physical features — probably eyes, and then hands. I like masculine hands that look like they can grasp the small of my back between, like, his thumb and his forefinger.  

Do you have any dealbreakers?
I don't like guys who have hair that's completely gelled back. 

You want to be able to run your hands through it.
Sure, I like the running of the hand.

Do you think you've ever offended anyone in the bedroom?
Maybe. 

You say that like you did.
I think that physically, I come off as a more demure woman than I am.

Is this a specific story? Are you just generalizing here?
No, I basically...We were having sex and it got a little crazy. He wasn't really expecting that. You know, females in the South, we glow! And we bake cookies. I mean, we don't have bodily functions and definitely don't get crazy in the bedroom.

What kind of craziness are we talking?
You know, ask for a little spanking and choking. I don't know. He just wasn't into it.