Talking to Strangers

Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

Jeremy, 24

What's your profession?
I'm currently teaching a summer program.

Could that get you any dates?
I hope not.

Where's the craziest place you've ever gotten laid?
Coffee shops.

Coffee shops, plural?
In the bathroom of the former Pacino's on Magazine St., and at C.C.'s. I've just dated people who've worked at coffee shops, so when it was slow or something... Both times, the place was open but relatively close to closing. I will say that those were probably the quickest sessions I've had in my life.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Absolutely not.

Has someone you were in love with ever broken up with you?
No, but I broke up with someone while I was in love with her. We were living together. It was a slowly dissolving situation, and it cultivated a sense of dependency. I don't think you should be with somebody until you've become an entirely self-sufficient person on your own — until you've learned that another person only enhances your happiness. They can't create it. You can live without that person. In this one instance we both got to the point where we both felt like we needed each other, and especially on her part it created this level of control, as well as jealousy towards every female friend I had. It was very unhealthy, and it was very hard to end.

So jealousy is like a dealbreaker for you?
Absolutely, I hate jealousy. It's just your own self-esteem shit. This particular girl was just rampantly jealous all the time and made me feel uncomfortable with my life outside hers.

What are your turn-ons?
I think feet are very cute, but I wouldn't call it a foot fetish, because it's just something that I find charming or endearing. It's not something that I get sexual gratification from. There are some feet that I don't find appealing, with really substantial arches, like dancers' feet. Sometimes they just look like they serve an orthopedic purpose, which doesn't really excite me.

Has anyone ever offended you in the bedroom?
Well, I really hate being handcuffed. She was being really overtly sexual with me when she did it, and she kind of surprised me with it, but if I can't touch you, if I can't do something back, then it's just boring.

 

Katie, 22

Where do you work?
A very temporary desk job at a university.

Do you get any dates from your job?
I could if I weren't already dating someone. I work at a front desk where there's a lot of one-on-one communication. Lots of opportunities there, I feel.

What kinds of guys come in?
All types of guys, many around my age, looking to enroll. It's not so much the guys that come in, though. If I weren't dating someone, I think there could be a very good chance of seeing a few of my coworkers.

What do you look for in a guy?
Primarily, a sense of humor. There should obviously be a connection. You know, I want to be able to laugh with him. I also need to see that he has equal respect for women and men. That applies to my friends as well.

If you could change one thing about men what would it be?
I probably wouldn't change anything about men. I love men. But I would change the way most males are raised in society. I think it's important that men and women grow up knowing that they can be whatever they want to be, regardless of the roles that society has set for them. I hate that some women grow up believing they are inferior to men and feeling that they need to get married and have kids for security.

Do you think there's one person for everybody?
No, I think out of the six billion people on this earth, you can make a deep and lasting connection with several of them. I mean I've met people in my life whom I feel I'm compatible enough with to have a lasting relationship. I just haven't met anyone that I like more than my current boyfriend.

What's the craziest place you've ever had sex?
In a very open area in a park during the afternoon. It was raining so hard that we felt no one could really see us. I'm certain they could, now that I look back. I love daytime rain.

Do you have any turn-offs?
Lots of them. Most importantly... don't call me "sweetheart."

 

Ted, 25

What is your profession?
I am a census enumerator.

Have you ever hooked up on the job?
No, no job ever.

Do you have any crazy exes?
I have multiple crazy exes. I have the craziest-exes-of-all-time exes.

Are there any specific things that have happened?
One ex told me that she spoke Swedish, and I thought it was awesome. Later I found out that she did not speak Swedish. When she was pretending to speak Swedish, she would do this muppet thing where she kind of made up crazy noises, and it was like Swedish, but it was just gibberish.

What's something you wish you could change about the opposite sex?
A lot of girls don't know anything about cars. I don't know anything about cars at all, but my girlfriend knows everything about cars and that's good. That's flipping a 180 on the whole thing.

I know two girls who know a lot about cars.
Cool, that's what we call the future.

How do you impress girls?
I impress girls in a lot of ways, mostly like in the way that I comb my hair really cool in the morning. I pay really really close attention to proportion and balance, the way it all falls on my head.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
When my current girlfriend and I saw each other we hated each other for like a month, but underneath all the hate was a little bit of love, and that's why we love each other today.