Talking to Strangers: Queens, NY

Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

by Grace Bello

Jayson, 33

What do you do?
I'm a stand-up comedian.

And does that get you a lot of dates?
Yes. Women like funny guys, so after the show a lot of them hang out and are very friendly. And actually performing is like an icebreaker because I don't have the awkward moment of how to approach them, because they know who I am already. They get a hint of my personality because they see me perform. 

Are you under any pressure to constantly be funny because of your role as a comedian?
No, not really. If I'm not on stage, I'm usually serious most of the time. I can be fun when I go out and party, but I'm normally serious. When I go out on dates, sometimes people ask, "Oh, you're a comedian? Tell me a joke," or whatever. And I hate that. It'll never come across as funny as it would on stage — it's a whole other energy.

Is there a type that you go for?
No. I don't have a specific type. I just feel it. If I'm around somebody and I can feel their energy, if they make me feel happy, it sounds really weird, but I feel, like, an inner smile. Did my accent just come out? That's a Midwestern accent! But, as far as aesthetics, I don't have a certain type. I will say this — just not obese. 

Is there a certain type that tends to go for you?
Yeah. Female. [laughs] No, my dating track record varies a lot. It's very — it's very varied. Is that grammatically correct?

Have you ever dated a woman older than you?
Yes. When I first moved to New York, I was twenty-two or twenty-three, and I dated a woman who was forty-two at the time. It was one of my better relationships, and one thing that she said really stuck with me. She said she had to relate to me on my level. She'd been twenty-four before, and I'd never been forty-two. And then when I was thirty, I started dating a woman who was twenty-four, and I understand what the forty-two-year-old meant. Fucking dating a twenty-four-year-old is just a headache! It's a serious headache. I had to call the forty-two-year-old and apologize — "Was I really this stupid when I was in my twenties?"

What's the most sexually adventurous thing you've done?
I've partaken in ménages-à-trois on several occasions. I definitely enjoyed it. The first one, though, I felt a little neglected, because the girls forgot that I was in the room. [laughs] They were a little more into each other than they were into me. As I grew, I learned how to take charge of these situations. 

Did those just happen or were you seeking them out?
They just happened. And, you know what? Every sexual encounter like that that ever happened has always happened by accident. Nothing that I ever set up. Like, if I focused on it and I wanted some of that stuff to happen, it would never fucking happen in a million years. But then, when it happened on accident, I was dating this girl, and I didn't know she'd dated girls before. I went over to her house and she had four of her friends there. It was a fun time. 

So you were with all of those girls?
Yeah. I kind of ran out of spark because I'd been drinking that night. Got a little whiskey-dick. But I made it to the finish line.

I finished strong.

Johanna, 34

Where are you from?
I'm actually American, but I've lived in so many places that I have an accent. [laughs]

What do you do?
I'm a designer. Product design. Home décor.

What's your relationship status?
I'm married. I met my husband at a dinner here in New York. He's from England, and he was visiting, and he was about to go back the next day. He was here visiting a friend, and that friend happened to be a friend of my friend. And then... I don't know how we got married, actually, honestly. 

Did you have a long-distance relationship?
Yeah, for one year. That was hard.

Did you have an open relationship during that time?
I guess. We never really talked about it — it was more like, "Let's see what happens." And then I moved to England and then we moved here. 

Before you met your husband, what was your dating life like?
Sporadic. I like shy guys, quiet kinds of guys. In the city, it's really difficult to find somebody. So, before my husband, I would just meet people and hang out for a bit, or for that party, and then that's it.

Do you have any fun hook-up stories?
I thought my husband was going to be my first one-night-stand, actually, because he was here from England, and I was like, "Oh, how cute!" And I thought that he was going back tomorrow, so there was no future whatsoever. 

Did you sleep with him on that first date?
Yeah, we just sort of, like... he came back to my place, and we were talking forever, and at the end we slept together. We actually didn't sleep all night, and he had to leave really early in the morning to catch his plane. I remember he was so nice. He was like, "Oh, you know, I can come back in two weeks," and so on. I was like, "Yeah, don't worry. You know, I'm a grown-up. That's okay." I thought he was telling me that because he didn't want to be an asshole just leaving me or something. I totally thought he was going to be my first one-night stand.

And then when did you know that he was serious?
I don't know, it just happened! Seriously! When he said he was coming back, I was like, "Okay, if you want." But then I was like, "Maybe I won't remember what this guy looks like." I was really worried. So I said, "Can you send me a photo?" And he did, and then I was like, "Oh, I don't really know if I like this guy anymore." The photo was just really weird. But he came finally to my door, and I was like, "I like him, I like him. He looks different in the photo."

What did you find attractive about him when you first met him?
It was a connection that's really difficult to explain. I felt like I'd known him forever. Even though I didn't know him, I didn't feel like I had to pretend anything. I was so relaxed about it, because I knew I was never going to bump into him again — he was from England! But in the end, I was happy to marry him.

Anakin, 29

What do you do?
I'm a pathologist. We do autopsies, dissect surgical specimens, run lab tests. It's a lot of fun.

What does that mean?
I'm a doctor, I don't see patients, and it's not like CSI.

How do you deal with that when you're explaining it to a girl?
It's really not that difficult. I just say, "This is what I do," and I explain it, a little bit more long-windedly than I just did, and I'll answer any specific questions that come up. Usually people are more interested than grossed out.

So do you think it's landed you any dates?
For sure. No question. I've noticed that there are two types of women that go for that. The first type of woman is generally kind of into horror films, and metal, and sometimes electronic music. I think for them it's this more of this fantasy thing that they can brag to their friends about. The other half are really professional people — a lot of people who are in social media and advertising for some reason. I think they're just really intrigued by it. It's unique, and it's something that's cool that they can put on their Twitter. I don't know.

So what's your relationship status now?
My relationship status is extremely complicated. I'm involved with three or four people right now.

So how is any of that going?
Really well to moderately well. Really well is a long-distance thing. We're both doing our own thing right now, and we see each other when we see each other. I have someone else I'm kind of seeing two or three times a week, and that's pretty casual. I have someone else I see once or twice a month, and that's really casual. Other two things are about once or twice a month.

Do they all know about each other?
Some do, some don't.   

The girls that do, are they actually cool with it or are they pretending to be cool with it?
They're actually cool with it. That was definitely one of the stipulations and it's not a problem.

What are they like?
Smart, funny people. I don't really have any kind of tolerance for idiocy and boringness, so they're all cool, you know?

Is there a reason you don't want to pick one of them?
I think, when I can be together with a person in a long-term relationship, I think that will become the only thing that's going on in my life. But that's just not feasible at the moment. For the time being, that's the way it is.

What was your last committed relationship like?
My last committed relationship became long-distance. It was fine. It was great. And we were essentially living together at the end. Now we're apart, but it was fine. It wasn't really a breakup. She got a job in another country. I think I would have respected her a lot less if she hadn't gone and taken it.

That makes sense. Do you have any crazy exes?
One. It's pretty benign right now. I haven't spoken to that person in a few months, but the breakup was pretty dramatic and prolonged. There were a lot of kitchen utensils thrown at me.

Do you have any good hook-up stories?
A lot. I hooked up in the ice-vending machine of a hotel one time. It was hard on the knees, I can assure you. Also, in caves and random hiking trails. One was in a cave with a river running through it in New Zealand. National parks. All sorts of places in New York.

What was your favorite?
I like my memory-foam mattress. That's probably a favorite place.

Commentarium (53 Comments)

Nov 10 11 - 3:32am

I liked Johanna. It was the same way with my current boyfriend. I met him at a concert/block party, hung out with him into the night, and then even when he said he'd call, I thought, well, I'll probably never see him again. We've been together a year .

Nov 10 11 - 10:56pm

I really related to Johanna's story. This is how my fiance and I ended up together - not a one night stand exactly, but not love at first sight. We just kind of fell in together.

Nov 10 11 - 11:24am

"I'm actually American, but I've lived in so many places that I have an accent. [laughs] "

This sounds like something Jenna Maroney would say.

Nov 10 11 - 3:20pm

sounds like shes a douchette

Nov 10 11 - 4:00pm

madonna syndrome

Nov 10 11 - 8:41pm
bitter much?

You guys don't really get to travel a lot, do you?

Nov 11 11 - 12:50am

Actually, that really sounds like something Jenna Maroney would say! Bitter has nothing to do with it.

Nov 12 11 - 1:14am

haha so true.

Nov 10 11 - 11:28am

Raul seems like he has probably never been in a relationship in his life.

Nov 10 11 - 12:02pm

Anakin reminds me of my father for some reason.

Nov 11 11 - 11:13am


Nov 10 11 - 1:04pm


Nov 10 11 - 1:07pm

I've seen that first guy perform before. Can't remember if he was funny or not but I remember liking him.

Nov 10 11 - 1:12pm

A much more interesting a varied group than normal. Good job, Nerve.

Nov 10 11 - 1:50pm

Why does Nerve keep interviewing people I know?

Nov 10 11 - 1:53pm
Alex Heigl

Because our calls are coming from the upstairs extension!

Nov 10 11 - 9:29pm
grant the architect

Get out of the house, NOW!

Nov 10 11 - 11:57pm

i'm kind of jealous, i keep checking talking to strangers to see if they interview people i know and they never do.

Nov 10 11 - 4:38pm

holy shit johanna and jayson are beautiful. jhc.

Nov 10 11 - 6:02pm

Anakin and Jayson are HOT. And Marc, hell yes!

Nov 10 11 - 6:49pm

I'm straight, but Paulo and Marc are fucking hawt

Nov 10 11 - 8:43pm

P and M, reminding me of everything I dislike about dating French men.

Nov 10 11 - 10:58pm

I got weird deja vu with the first few people, like I'd met them all before. And I'm not even stoned right now.

Nov 11 11 - 12:52am

Interesting group. However, I wonder what would happen if we put their answers under pictures of drunk faced hipsters at a dive bar (instead of outside an art gallery in the daylight). We call them douchey sarcastic pricks? Could be a fun experiment.

Nov 11 11 - 12:52am


Nov 15 11 - 12:17am

good observation

Nov 11 11 - 12:51pm

Marc, call me?

Nov 12 11 - 5:17am

Getting credit ratings for your enterprise can end up as problematic as obtaining personal credit ratings.The primary place you should start has a bank or investment company.Most small companies have initially some style of bank loan to protect starting prices.The fastest way to procedure the banker has been a comprehensive business arrange.Don't pass covering the small factors.Start accompanied by a mission statement and various other documented promises.Then transfer to projected gains and 2nd plans in action that the first 1 fails.With a well designed business strategy a bank or investment company is going to extend credit history.

After creating credit accompanied by a bank with your company's name it happens to be then doable to make application for a business credit-based card.With a profitable business credit card it is easy to make buys for things you require ready.You hardly ever know what will happen derived from one of day to a higher and may need to produce fast dollars.For situation, there is perhaps a day time when one among your work machines reduces and is simply not fixable.With a card it is easy to get the latest one without the need of it becoming a problem.Usually there are some offices that might not maintain a natural working day with not a fax machine or perhaps a computer.

Numerous credit greeting card companies achieve offer achievements and incentives make use of their cards.These are generally frequent flyer kilometers or earn cashback after spending a payment.They can certainly be a helpful tool for choose a product to be out of the office a number.There will be rewards belonging to different cards that might get which you discount in certain lodgings or less expensive meals.It seriously isn't best if you carry hard cash, if a charge card is displaced or stolen most commonly easy to switch.Any charges made using the unit card after it happens to be reported stolen commonly are not put on to the bank account.

One the most beneficial features for using a charge card for your personal business is upon entering a statement of the spending month for month.This is exhilarating for the one that doesn't have time for them to do a accounting on their spending daily.It is specially handy designed for multiple card account accounts to manage what all others on all the account is actually spending.These statements can really help in regards to tax period, to learn the nontaxed company related obligations.

Establishing a personal line of credit this way is perfectly for a small company.There can be some great businesses that wont collaborate with your personal business until individuals achieve a clear credit rating.So leave there in addition to spend, pay a bills when they're due, and have a relatively successful small business.

Nov 12 11 - 5:17am

.And virtually all companies understand that some money is superior to getting almost nothing.So what goes on is any negotiator quickly states that their buyer is willing to settle their unsecured debt for less from the amount that is originally supposed to be paid.Under such circumstances any debtee can pay off his or her debts and not having to pay the full amount in addition to the interest which has accumulated.

Counseling has also been an excellent method jointly with a variety of debt relief service that will help a person get free from debt as well as stay out forever

Nov 12 11 - 5:18am

.One should make certain that before punishing the slopes question snowboarding glasses which would shield all the eyes through harsh glares of your sun and additionally snow and as well give 100% UV security.In component, they provide snowboarder using some style and include famous brands just like Bolle and additionally Oakley and you'll also find other accessories like hat leashes, cords to get keeping the sunglass set up combined with cases to hang the eyeglasses.

Goggles happen to be snowboarding accessories that come with snow protection, increase throughout visibility combined with added functionality and so are essential to make sure you any alpine equipment and include famous famous brands such because Oakley not to mention Adidas

Nov 12 11 - 5:18am

. These people rarely got while wild in the boonies once i had.

My house status with Ut seemed to be 80,1000 block miles of proper birding neighborhood along with basically 400 species of parrots as a consequence of variant in climatic conditions, height, and even territory. There would be a good quality society from waterfowl in addition to shorebirds. It had not been difficult look at One hundred group within 24 hours.

Bird watching to the pistol groups plus reserves in the proximity of Good Sea salt Water has been a large hobby

Nov 12 11 - 5:18am

.Several courses from AVETA Methods - Pretty innovative, actual situations throughout.With Half a dozen Sigma online training out of Aveta methods, you can define, analyze and process difficulty with critical ranges as thought of by consumers, as perfectly as investigate and regulate the versions and cause causes.

only two.nLighten coming from Pivotal Options - This is the high-end Half dozen Sigma on the internet e-learning supplement.This supplement combines various areas of Six Sigma training such as facilitation regarding online negotiations, and problem-solving simulations

Nov 12 11 - 5:18am

. The key characteristic of these brand defining it as exact same as other individuals is its red sole that has become another vogue statement across the world and he has are a dream for all girl who wishes to have an number of them. Even so with regards to inflated selling prices the sneakers are not possessed so very easily by all of us.

Nonetheless, because these shoes originally are very high-priced already in the market, so an alternative solution showed up that had been then identified as Christian Louboutin Replicas

Nov 12 11 - 5:18am

.Wedding rings could be the symbol of one's love into the person you will spend your way of life with.The age old lifestyle says in which wearing wedding party rings to the left hands prevents a person's love right from escaping.

Though yellow metal rings have previously been the most popular metal for weddings, these days you can find variations which include a combination of metals which includes silver as well as platinum, or yellow gold and white colored gold

Nov 12 11 - 5:18am

.First, there is absolutely no ticketing workplace to keep.All reservations and expenses are transacted web based.Through e-ticketing, tickets are offered on online, which eliminates the necessity to employ further people just for processing or even maintain global offices.

Even so, people may well still discover affordable airfare even though they can't want for taking chances through budget flight.

Here's how:

SOME SORT OF.Purchasing the airline ticket at the very least 10 days before scheduled vacation will enable your specific to avail of awesome low fares

Nov 12 11 - 5:18am


Yet are unexpectedly great from the 'hot' warm weather too.

This phenomenal footwear became in fashion when discovered on Artist superstars tromping around Houston.

Everyone with Britney Spears to make sure you Jennifer Aniston is spotted using uggs shoes and boots, slippers, plus boots.

The tender and warm sheepskin can cushion you a and allow you to be feel familiar are going for a walk on surroundings!

Don't miss the opportunity to buy an attractive pair of ones own

Nov 12 11 - 5:18am


You will probably find it helpful to contemplate your first attempts at finding a breast pump like just practice sessions considering the main goal being to learn to use your breast pump as opposed to focusing on simply how much breast milk is really expressed.

The use of a hand pump you should try and use swift and short pumps at the beginning for stimulation like this copies more closely the manner that your newly born baby feeds.After your unhappy has happened as well as your milk begins to help flow more freely it is advisable to find that more time steadier strokes personal computer effective and fewer tiring

Nov 12 11 - 5:18am


Combating the stresses and strains, Golf in the main is not too physically demanding on the body, but it does require the concentration levels to be high. This provides a great outlet from the everyday challenges we are faced with and can often be very therapeutic, with surrounding scenery and the fresh air helping to relieve tension.

Keeping fit. The positive benefits of making a repetitive swing between 70 and 100 times around, along with the distances covered on foot, all combine to eat up in excess of 1000 calories

Nov 12 11 - 5:18am

. These particular throws inside Slovenian are called buhteljni and Czech , they are really labeled buchty. Your Gloss will have something similar. Inside them for hours stated that, even while deemed home-dessert acceptable, one of the most celebrated Austrian Buchteln seem to be functioned from the Caf¡§| Hawelka around Vienna. (Ref * Wikipedia)

Although a lot of old fashioned cooking pertaining to Bukta start using a bready money, my best mum - Cook Helen Szabo utilizes a general nice money willing through unhealthy remedy

Nov 12 11 - 5:18am


Their bond concerning a broker together with his primary is produced by way of deal. Beneath Organization Contract the particular agent is assigned authority you need to do some things during his principal's space. In substitution for your services proposed by that broker to behave at her principal's the part, the principal repays all of the solution the latest charge and / or percentage. Agencies are usually not laborers. The distinction relating to a realtor with an personnel is definitely the identify handle in addition to procedure for remuneration

Nov 12 11 - 5:18am

.But, the particular effort it is possible to muster to help exercise is a good idea it.Keeping fit will increase your level and your sense of well-being.And additionally, it should help restore your muscle strength and give back you back to your pre-pregnancy figure.

Car been given the go-ahead from the health-care service, you may start exercising.Walking is an effective way to alleviate into an exercise regime the other you can do with your baby.The outside will do the pair of you lots for good

Nov 12 11 - 5:18am

.Hose reels come in several styles together with features.Some hose reels stand alone, while others could be attatched to a wall.Retrieval in the hose is certainly accomplished either with a hand turn, or a good automated foot or so petal.Dad gives you an notably big embrace when she or he discovers the ease of using an important hose fishing reel! The the next occasion poker night comes approximately, make guaranteed dad comes with an authentic "Las Vegas" pattern poker dining room table

Nov 12 11 - 5:19am


One thing about birding is you can take action during the community as well as land, regarding ground and / or coast, to team members (often) or on christmas, as well as when ever poorly in the sack. Individuals get to the gulls they come to visit you simply by constructing a landscape as being a chook habitat.

Small rodent learn is compared to painting like a pro some sort of situation. There is not any timepiece and there is no race. It's a really period of entire peacefulness

Nov 12 11 - 5:19am

.Will this is actually a factor you might want to discuss together with your car underwriter, you really should note this particular:

Tyre Locks

While tyre locks might deter crooks from steeling auto, the fact is that a good number of UK rates companies will not allow for the reality that you have you to affect how much your rates premium.To sum up, if this thief may be a professional, tyre locks may not be much of any deterrent.


If the car has a strong immobiliser process inserted - for instance the Thatcham Section 1 :then try to be talking for the UK car insurance company about different ways to reduce car insurance top quality

Nov 12 11 - 5:19am


There are numerous of suppliers who undertake wonders together with the jersey designs and styles.Today, even reversible jerseys can be found.These jerseys work with contrasting textiles on both inside and additionally outside surfaces to enable them to be damaged both tactics.

Each jersey is required to carry any player's number on the back as well as front.The height of those numbers is certainly 8 inches around the back in addition to 6 inches to the front edge

Nov 12 11 - 5:19am

.Face balms with chemicals and even natural remedies can help the skin area regenerate its own matters and take tighter to scale back the glimpse of facial lines.There will be injections that help paralyze a muscles within skin, making it impossible to get furrows to generally be created.And there are lasers which can remove the looks of even the littlest of ranges and scars.All of advancements make it possible for us to seem younger by means of reducing exactly how our scars look

Nov 12 11 - 5:19am


The Legal Aspects of Franchising

In legal terms franchise is a contract. The franchisee is usually granted an exclusive territory in which he or she is the only distributor of the particular products or services in a specified place. The franchisor is obligated to assist the franchisee through advertising, promotion, research and development, quantity purchasing, training and education etc.

In 1979 the United States legislature had enacted the laws to protect prospective franchisees from being deceived by the falsehoods of franchisors

Nov 12 11 - 5:19am


To make a acceptable income, one must placed in long hours and have absolutely the self-discipline to the work consistently.

When you choosed research opportunities which you can make cash online using, it is crucial to are mindful with that opportunities you choose.Many via the internet advertisements the fact that promise that you quick as well as large salary by basically working a period of time a few days are deceptive.

These vendors often require someone to create a large downline, or they will likely sell your details to others resulting within unsolicited email through bulk

Nov 12 11 - 5:19am

.net ( blank ) This kind of Birmingham founded stow belongs to the greatest self-sufficient men's outlets in britain with a big designer immediately after. Oipolloi keep designs just like Pimple slacks, Apc gear, Barbour, YMC, Superga, John Perry, Trickers, Diamond Tropical isle, Belstaff, Talk, Clarks, Individuals and more. Oipolloi has a online store which often extends together with a Stansted specialist - ASOS has become one of the biggest online retailers in great britain, it's found plenty of increase in a final 5 years possesses fully re-shaped it really is image as her establish

Nov 12 11 - 5:19am


7.You cancel dates with all your friends as well as other people since you also would rather hang out with him or her.

8.You get started feeling tired of the solitary life you need to thinking about a wedding.

9.You sense strongly that it is very important for all your family and your own 'special someone's' parents to receive along.

10.You start out thinking plus talking more about the future whilst your goals with each other.

Nov 15 11 - 12:17am


Nov 20 11 - 10:09am

Which came first, the problem or the solution? Luckily it doesn't mtater.

Nov 23 11 - 7:16am

I really cuodln't ask for more from this article.