Will, 26

How do you usually get a date? 
I go out with a group of friends. Their friends are friends with my friends, and it usually works into something. I had one friend... well, you can ask another question.

No, tell the story!
My latest sexual experience?

Of course!
Okay, well, I'm originally from Buffalo. I'm in close contact with a lot of my friends back home. So my friend Ryan said, "I have a girl, and she wants to hook up with you." And I'm like, "Oh, okay!" A cup of coffee, a walk through the park — we didn't really go into detail about what she wanted. So when I went home for Thanksgiving break, we all went out, and the girl doesn't say anything to me all night! We're drinking, we're having a good time, she doesn't say anything to me all night. And then close comes around and she's like, "Oh, you want to go home?" So we went back and had a great night-slash-morning.

I was just staying with my parents and I didn't have a car or anything, so she gave me a ride home. I actually wanted to get to know a little bit about her, since we'd had sex all night. I said, "So what do your parents do?" And she's just like, "Oh, one's an engineer, the other one works at a community center." That was it. She wouldn't ask me about my parents or anything. It's like she didn't want to know anything about me at all.

How did that make you feel?
Well, it is what it is. That's all she wanted — she didn't want to get to know me at all. Which is funny, me saying that, because in college, I was that person. And now I think I'm over that, you know? I want a girlfriend eventually. Not her, but it was just funny, someone treating me like that.

What was the last good date you went on?
It was good and it was heartbreaking at the same time.

Why was it heartbreaking?
Because it didn't go anywhere and I really liked her. I took her to this place called Peasant and it went really well. We walked all through the city, had a great talk. It was a nice night. But I didn't do enough of the touching, the intimate stuff. I was trying to play it cool, and I was being too nice of a guy, so I came off as a friend.

Oh, the friend zone.
Which is all counteracting life in college, when I was a total douchebag. It worked, but I was a douchebag, you know what I mean? I'm trying to be like this super-nice guy now, and now I'm too nice.

So other than the body-language thing...
Walking down the street, you can get eye contact. Even when I'm driving, I'll be at a light, a girl will be waiting to cross, and we'll have that cool eye contact thing, and it's like, "Oh my god, you could be the love of my life. Should I roll down the window? Or — wait, I'm going to look really weird." And it just passes you by. I feel like I've fallen in love like 5,000 times since I've been here, just with a look.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Hell yeah, man! The feeling of the first sight will carry you through the weird getting-to-know-each-other stage. It either carries you through and you learn about the person and it works out, or the love-at-first-sight thing only gets you so far and then you're screwed. Usually instant attraction can carry you far enough to where it gives you enough drive to actually meet the person.

When was the last time you fell in love? 
That I fell in love? It would have to be my senior year of high school. I was a weirdo in high school and just walked around by myself, so I never really talked to any girls. I found this one and I didn't care what she wore, I didn't care how her hair was or anything. I just liked her. I just liked her attitude towards everything, how she dealt with stuff, how she carried herself. And then we both went to different colleges, and it broke up, but I absolutely loved her. I haven't had that feeling since then.

Meagan, 21

What's a really good date you've been on?
One of the best dates I've ever been on was on Valentine's Day. This guy just randomly asked me out, and I was like "Sure, I'm not doing anything 'cause I'm a fucking loser."

No, you're not!
But I figured, it's better than staying at home by myself — I get to be one of the people! So he took me to Central Park. He knew the back roads of the woods in Central Park, so he was helping me climb down the rocks and over these tree branches, and then we got to the lake and it was frozen. We were just skating on the frozen ice in our shoes. The stars were out and you could see the lights of the city over the frozen lake. I was scared that the ice might crack, but at the same time it was fucking beautiful. Everything was so surreal — it was like Valentine's Day and we were really skating. Think about Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, just like going across the frozen Charles holding hands and looking at constellations. It was basically like that. So nice. But in the end I stopped talking to him.

What happened with him?
He was such a broken package. He had parental issues. I hate when women are treated like they're babysitters. They should be girlfriends or like, "That's my woman," not my mom or my babysitter. But that's how I felt with him. And I was like, "You're not worth babysitting." This past year I've been talking to a few guys, and what really gets me to keep wanting to see them is someone who keeps me on my toes — someone I can learn more and more about, who doesn't end up being predictable or anything. I have this commitment problem.

Me too.
But I'm young, so I'm not looking for a relationship anyway.

Have you met any guys who've really pushed you like that?
I met this guy online and we decided to meet up. He was a teacher, but he had this really intense carnal side. In bed, he was crazy dominating and kinky.

Tell me more.
I can just say that I've done with him for the first time that I didn't think I would ever do. Things that you really only see on porn websites, where you're just like, "Oh, look at what he's doing to her, that's funny" — and it happened to me. Anyway, it was fun and it was definitely an experience. I was totally into trying new things. But then he started asking me to do things outside of the bedroom. He was like, "Oh, we should go see the High Line, or go see The Rocky Horror Picture Show. And we can get all dressed up like they do..." and I was like, "Okay..." The last time I saw him, it was building up. He was doing work for school and he was like, "You don't have to leave. You can stay if you want — watch me do my work," and I was like, "Um, I'm gonna leave." And then I never... came back. I know it's sad. It's really bitchy of me, but you do what you've got to do.

Other than the kinky stuff, has anyone ever done anything that's offended you in the bedroom?
With him, he slapped me in the face, but as role-play, and the first time I was like, "Oh, this is funny." But then the last time we had sex, I really wasn't into it, so when he slapped me, I was like, "Oh my God, if you slap me one more time..." I really wasn't into it. You have to be in it together — otherwise he's just slapping me in the face and it's rude!

Michael, 25

What do you do, or how do you most like to spend your time?
I'm a bartender and I spend my time drinking.

Does that get you any interesting dates?
Most recently I've begun dating a married woman. She's in her mid-thirties, I'm in my mid-twenties. I wait for her husband to leave. I wait around the corner, and when the husband leaves, I go in.

How did you meet her?
At a bar. I was working. Oddly, most women... I find it easy to hook up with girls when they're over thirty-five. I think they're running out of options or something.

Does it bother you to date someone who's married?
Not so much. If they were happily married or pseudo-happily married I'd be worried, but she if she says she's unhappy, that's good enough for me. I don't really care very much. Does that make me a bad person? I'm a bad person, right?

How do you find New York is different dating-wise than where you're from originally?
In Arizona all the girls shave their vaginas. In New York that's not always true.

Is that disappointing to you? 
To me, yeah. It's kind of a letdown. I wish the girls out here would get on the boat. Dating is kind of the same though. Although I will say in New York, I find that going dutch is considered more reasonable than it is in Arizona, where I think the girls want to know how much money you have or if you have money. I didn't do all that much dating in Arizona because I don't have any money.

Do you have a type?
I don't have a type, no. I go through phases, as most men do. My ex was very beautiful but had kind of a flat chest, so now I'm on this boob thing, you know? Three exes ago, she had huge boobs and I was on an ass thing. You always want what you don't have. I feel like most guys are always looking for something better.

Has anyone ever done anything in the bedroom to offend you?
Well, I've found that a lot of older women like to — not to get vulgar, but this is actually a fact of mine that I've learned. If they're over thirty-seven, they'll always try to play with your ass. Older women always do that. That's not my thing. I wouldn't say I've been offended, but that's one of those weird things that I've always noticed about older women. In New York, everyone's so goddamned open about their sexuality, it's hard to offend someone. You couldn't offend me.

What are some of your dealbreakers, then?
I find my dealbreakers get bigger and bigger every year, as I get a little older. I remember when I was twenty-one, I had no dealbreakers. But now it's like, yeah, I can deal with bullshit conversation in a bar for maybe thirty minutes. It used be like three hours. It's like it's a half hour less every year or something like that. On the other hand, when you're drunk, you just forget about all the dealbreakers. In the morning, you'll think of a whole lot of them. I sound gross right now.

How about any crazy ex stories?
My most recent ex is absolutely a crazy ex story. We were living together, and she was stealing all my shit. She kicked me out of the apartment. So I broke into the apartment one day. This actually makes me the crazy one but she stole my shit too, so I think we're both kind of crazy. But I ended up breaking through the chain lock with a screwdriver — I unscrewed it and then stole all my stuff back, and then rescrewed in the chain lock so she would never know that I was in there in the first place. Every ex story ends in something crazy.

Want to talk to strangers in your town? Email submissions@nerve.com.

Commentarium (47 Comments)

Dec 29 11 - 2:23am
ibg

Michael looks like a more filled-out Ashton Kutcher

Dec 29 11 - 3:14am
HH

I thought more of a Josh Hartnett

Dec 29 11 - 5:48am
ibg

Yeah, I was thinking Josh Hartnett too. Either I get those two confused, or they look alike.

Dec 29 11 - 5:33am
Billy

"I am an actress, writer, and activist"
Yuck, the fuck does that mean. Another unemployed occupier type I bet.

Dec 29 11 - 5:38am
HH

Why are everyone ever interviewed for 'Talking to Strangers' so sexually promiscuous ?

Dec 29 11 - 9:37am
lb

It's not a random sample -- it's people who will happily talk to a stranger about their sex life.

Dec 29 11 - 10:34am
xyzabc

Yes, but read further. She's a nanny too.

Dec 30 11 - 9:19pm
@hh

Agree with LB, but also it's New York...lot of sexing/dating going on in that city

Dec 31 11 - 12:49pm
Trifecta

Spectacular. You appear to understand how a Comment affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not. Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between posts. In layman's terms: speedy story goes in, speedy comment comes out.

Dec 29 11 - 5:46am
jk

I'd like to know what the three things were. Colleen?

Dec 29 11 - 1:00pm
Number10FightCLub

yapper, snapper, crapper

Dec 29 11 - 5:43pm
HH

The trifecta is drinking a beer while watching football and getting a blow job.

Dec 30 11 - 4:04am
jk

That's fucking ridiculous. If I'm getting blown, the only thing I'm watching is my partner's pretty head bobbing up and down in my lap, and the only thing I'm drinking is her sweet saliva as it trickles down my urethra to meet the semen she's enthusiastically bringing forth. Coleen was right to be offended by that unappreciative moron.

Dec 31 11 - 9:36am
muscleman

That's fine, jk. If you prefer the alternate definition, you may then choose to share your parter with two others simultaneously utilizing the other two of the three available orifices.

Dec 29 11 - 9:34am
incidence acehava

Man, I freakin' LOVE girls with hairy pits and pussy. (I can take or leave hairy legs, but I suppose truth be told I'd prefer them shaved.) Come on girls, stop shaving your twats! It's so '90s porn, and it's so over. I don't understand the turn-on of a pussy that looks like it belongs on a nine-year-old.

Michael is a douche. And a drunk.

Colleen has the YellowTooth. (But I, too, would like to know what the Trifecta consisted of.)

Oh, and who the fuck pays $5 for a bottle of Bud Lite? Sweet Jeebus...

Dec 29 11 - 12:28pm
Chan

We're exact opposites. I make an excuse to dates for why we don't work, I don't go screaming into the night and I'm respectful...but, well...we don't work because hairy pits and legs are not appealing; I can deal with a trimmed crotch. I don't just trim and remove my own body hair because I'm a masochist...I do it because body hair is disgusting. Mine, hers, everybody's.

I figure if I'm only going to have a single dealbreaker, that I'm allowed to be strident and uncompromising on it as long as I hold myself to the same standard.

Dec 30 11 - 8:22pm
spoon

Thumbs up to hair down there.

Dec 31 11 - 11:03am
HH

I'll take a pass on the primeval jungle, but a nicely trimmed bush makes the lickin' better.

Dec 29 11 - 10:39am
xyzabc

What does hairy armpits have to do with good politics, or an appreciation of art and music? It's fine if you don't want to shave. Don't try to give it any more meaning than what it is (nor someone else's preference for a person who does shave).

Dec 29 11 - 2:58pm
dave1976

Agree. Plus, she's wearing makeup, jewelry, and generally looks well put together. Not that you can't do these things and have hairy pits, but my point it these are all simply aesthetic choices, and that's it. Stop adding the political bullshit.

Dec 29 11 - 10:54pm
dave1976

Not to imply that hair is political. That went out in the 60s.

Dec 29 11 - 10:55pm
dave1976

Well, not pubic hair - that took until the 80s. But politics and porn - two different things. Right?

Dec 29 11 - 12:06pm
Jeez

The actress, writer, and activist girl with the lame name is a douchette, yuck...

Dec 29 11 - 12:37pm
Joe

Will, you are my new hero.

Dec 29 11 - 12:55pm
Cpt.Douchenozzle

I thought Micheal was awesome, if for nothing else than the fact that he knew he was coming off like an asshat, but still answered the questions honestly, and with a bit of humor.

Dec 31 11 - 2:48pm
yep

exactly i liked him because he was honest. a funny, if offensive drunk

Jan 01 12 - 3:23pm
yo

Haha michael was funny, but only about the Arizona bits.
I guess women in AZ like men with some money because no one in AZ has money.

Dec 29 11 - 1:09pm
Akeem

"I'm obviously a feminist who has hairy armpits, so I need somebody who's pretty radical, right? I need somebody who has good politics and who can really appreciate art and music and things like that. That's why the hairy-armpits thing is really important to me — it equals so many things. You know this is a woman who has a lot of opinions, who really commits to her decisions, and so you have to be able to handle that, right? "

What a pretentious load of bullshit.

Dec 29 11 - 1:34pm
G Unit

Another round of NYC losers. Ugh.

Dec 29 11 - 5:01pm
ba

will should be getting way more women, he's sexy and heartfelt. michael just sucks.

Dec 29 11 - 6:16pm
shayna

will, do me?

Dec 29 11 - 10:57pm
LiquidCourage

Yes, I'll do you!

Dec 29 11 - 7:25pm
Cunning Linguist

Just a tip: grooming down there does not equate to pedophilia. If you like hair, then fine for you, but some of us want to find the very adult labia with no fibrous interference.

Dec 29 11 - 9:29pm
Els

Will sounds like he needed his heart broken so he could see the other side of things for once!

Dec 30 11 - 3:25am
el

Michael has some really gross neck beard going on and he's complaining that NYC girls don't shave their vaginas? Douche.

Dec 31 11 - 11:04am
dave1976

Yeah Michael could really rip some nylons with that going on!

Dec 30 11 - 3:55am
Vanessa

What's up, Will? Haha so adorable!

Dec 30 11 - 8:58am
Will

Thanks!

Dec 30 11 - 4:37pm
Alyssa

Will is effing hot.

Dec 31 11 - 1:25pm
No Problema

REGARDING: "If they're over thirty-seven, they'll always try to play with your ass. Older women always do that. That's not my thing. I wouldn't say I've been offended, but that's one of those weird things that I've always noticed about older women."

AND WHY IS THIS A PROBLEM?!?
Have some gratitude.

Dec 31 11 - 9:41pm
...

I once dated a older woman who was all about the male butt play. She stated that if a guy didn't like it, then he wasn't a real man. Not taking a stand one way or the other(I've only dated one older woman), but the hell, had to throw out my two cents.

Dec 31 11 - 1:54pm
dave1976

Mmmm, I'd like to put Siobhan between myself and my buddy for a dp.

Dec 31 11 - 2:39pm
sylvia

STEVE I LOVE YOU!

Dec 31 11 - 3:36pm
gah

Michael is the biggest douchecanoe ever to appear in this feature, and that's saying a lot.

Jan 01 12 - 8:55pm
Delia

"I feel like I've fallen in love like 5,000 times since I've been here, just with a look."

Oh my god, that's a panty dropping line if ever I've seen one. Will also looks like Jake Gyllenhaal with hipster-y glasses and has the grand Ex no one's matched up to so far. Someone make a movie about him, quick!

Jan 02 12 - 5:53am
Beatrice

Will is perfection and Michael is gross. Guys take note.

Jan 03 12 - 5:53pm
jj

Will looks like the result of a Jake Gyllenhaal / Seth Rogen coupling. ;)