What's the worst date you've ever been on?
One date was pretty terrible, actually. Terrible, terrible me — I'm a terrible person. I had a girlfriend, but I met this girl in Times Square and we really hit it off, so we went to go get something to eat. I was supposed to meet my girlfriend and, uh, didn't meet her. And later that night, I was with the girl I had met in Times Square on the train and who shows up at the same platform? None other than my girlfriend. Ladies, I'm a much better man now. That happened years ago. I've learned from my mistakes.
What's the craziest thing you've ever done to get laid?
I never really do anything crazy. I lay down the charm all the time and I see where the ball rolls, really. That's how it goes. I always try to introduce myself with something funny. I just go off the cuff, really. I don't like to play a game or anything like that.
How do you find the dating scene in New York?
When you're in New York, everyone's on the move. It's adequate, I would say. How far can you get being yourself in New York?
What is your favorite sexual position?
Standing up doggy, against the wall. It's just better than doggy on the bed on the knees. And I can see a lot more that way. Especially if there's a mirror. Ooh! I just came right now, actually, just thinking about it. I just came. Twice.
Has anyone ever offended you in the bedroom?
No. I've offended myself, but that really wasn't my choice. My — uh, yeah [gestures southward] — thinks for himself. He does what he wants, when he wants. Especially if there's liquor involved. So I have no control. I can only know what I want to do and then there's what he wants to do. But let's say we're in the midst of doing what we both want to do and he decides, nah, I don't wanna do it no more, there's really nothing I can do!
What do you do?
I work at Morgan Stanley. I'm an expense auditor.
Does that get you any interesting dates?
I was asked out by an employee at the same company. He asked me out a couple of times, and each time when the date would come, he would tell me that he couldn't go. It turns out he was married with a child. So I was like, thank God it never panned out, because I would have probably run in the other direction the minute I found out. I stopped responding to any phone calls. It was awful — I was very offended by that. No other dates from work, though.
What are you looking for? What's your type?
I know what I don't want in people. But I'm very drawn to people who are not the center of attention and have a lot of respect for their families and for other people and who are nice. That's basically it.
What are you not looking for?
Low self-confidence, and people who try to be someone they're not.
You're from upstate. How's the dating scene in New York different?
Everyone is very independent. It's very much, like, all about me, all about you. I think everyone's down here — especially young people — is down here looking for their job, for a foundation for themselves. A lot of people in my hometown are married now or have children. The city is very, very different. But I enjoy it. I've gone on lots of dates with people since I've moved here. Nothing has ever really materialized, but that's fine, too. I love being single.
What's the worst date you've ever been on?
A couple of summers ago I randomly met a guy on the bus back to my apartment — I live in Hoboken. And we were chatting and he was really, really nice and before I got off the bus he was like, "Hey, do you want to go out sometime?" and I said sure. So we went out, and we were talking about our other dating experiences. I was saying how some guy once in a really creepy way asked if he could kiss me. And so the guy I was on a date with thought that I wanted him to just take me and kiss me, and all of a sudden he was like a bear. He tried to eat my face! He started biting my lip and my mouth, and I was like, "What are you doing to me right now?" I told him I had to leave.
What about the best date you've ever been on?
I don't think I have a best date I've ever been on, but I have a favorite first kiss. It was this guy I went out with last year. He was super-shy. And it kind of made me feel more confident, because he was like shaking in his boots the whole time. He walked me back to my apartment, and we were standing outside of my apartment and he was telling me what a nice time he had and we kissed and it wasn't like a drunken makeout, it was just like a kiss and he laughed and I laughed and he hugged me and he went home. It was really cute. I told him six months later, that was the nicest first kiss I've ever had in my life.
How is dating in New York different than Israel?
I don't know — I haven't started yet! My friends say it's much more difficult to take Israeli girls on a first date. Girls here are easier, is what I hear. Everybody says there are too many girls here for the amount of guys here, so it's much easier.
What's the best date you've ever been on?
Ila. She was amazing. She twisted my head, I guess. She was smarter than me.
How did you meet her?
Through a friend. We were together three months, but I had to go to New York.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
I have no idea. Wait. Yes. Because I fell in love with a girl I met the second I met her and I'm going to love her forever. She was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. We met in Berlin, by accident. We slept together the first night we met. I met her through the girl whose house I was crashing at. The girl we were staying with told my friend and I that someone she knew was going to come to her apartment, and so we went out. We were out all day long in the city. And then we came back at five o'clock, and she was standing there in the living room. Both my friend and I were standing there like two stupid guys who can't speak. Like, drooling. He started talking, but I couldn't talk for an hour.
Yeah. Then we just started drinking, and by the end of the night she and I went out, but we didn't know where we were sleeping at. We had no idea where we were supposed to go back to because we didn't know the address. So we didn't get back home that night. We slept on the street. It was really cool.
What ever happened with her?
She came to Israel. I came to Berlin. We still talk, but it's difficult.