Donna, 33

Explain the tattoo on your arm.
This one right here? It's a quote from On The Road. It's a long, long quote, but "burn, burn, burn" is part of that quote. He talks about how the only people in this world for him are the mad ones, but I like the "burn, burn, burn" part of it: "burn, burn, burn, like fabulous roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars."

Are you a writer?
I do comedy, actually. Improv. That's actually where I'm headed right now.

Is that your main gig?
I'm unemployed. I just spend all my time doing this right now. I perform at the People's Improv Theatre over on Lexington and 24th, and I do my own sketch puppet show there, too.

How long have you been performing?
I've been doing theatre since I was small, but I've been performing in New York since January.

Do you prefer extroverted, outrageous guys?
I do. But it never ends well. I think all the guys I've been with this year have been improvisers... and I'm single [laughs]. People who do comedy, especially men, are very neurotic and have their phobias. But then it's hard to date someone outside of that, because I feel like every time I do, they don't know what I'm talking about and they're not really into me. The dates are fun with the comedy guys, but it doesn't seem to last very long or turn into a long-standing relationship. I guess they get attention from women because of what they do, and... I don't know, it just seems like the men in comedy are more promiscuous.

Are comedians as eccentric in bed as they are in public?
I've actually had the most amazing sex and the most horrible sex with comedians. It's one extreme or the other. Some have been so sexually shut off that you're like, "What's wrong with this guy?" and some are really wild and crazy and they'll surprise you in that way and it's really awesome. I slept with someone and the first time I was with him he was really aggressive, and spanking me, and all that kind of stuff. It got a little intense. We were standing up for parts of it, and there were lots of changes and there was lots of aggression, and it was hot. But the guy who I was with before him didn't seem to know how to even do foreplay and was just kind of lying on me like a whale.

Did you try to spice things up?
No, I didn't, because there were things that I would do — he didn't even want oral sex, because he said it gave him the creeps. I think he might have had something go wrong in the past.

Have you been on any awkward first dates?
There was this one guy I knew in Chicago, and I guess we were just hanging out one night, it wasn't really a date, but he was just so disconnected. He was a great comedian and great performer, but he kind of talked like a robot and he wouldn't be himself. I didn't know what he was doing, but it was creepy, and I kept saying, "Look, dude, you're much more attractive when you're yourself." But he just kept trying to put on a show, and I felt like I was never talking to the person, I was talking to someone who was playing a character.

How long ago was this?
This was like, a year ago. Like I said, my first dates aren't usually bad, but they just start to turn into something that's more like a relationship, it gets comfortable, and then they freak out. I don't really have any stories of bad dates, per se. Just things ending badly [laughs].

Tell me about one of those bad endings.
I was dating this really crazy guy, and I tried to break up with him one night. We just had a blowout in the middle of the street and I decided that I didn't want to be part of it anymore. But he refused to let me go home or end it — it was like, three in the morning and he wouldn't let me get in a cab — and I ended up having to sleep at his house. So I slept at his house and then I went home, and two hours later he called me and broke up with me [laughs]. It was pretty shitty.

You were living in Chicago until recently. How would you compare the men in Chicago to the men in New York?
Oh, that's easy. Chicago guys are very scared, it seems. They're very shy, they're very scared to ask women out, and they're very awkward. Here, they're a lot more aggressive. I've had more dates here by far, than I have in Chicago. All of my girlfriends who live in Chicago have the same problem with men. They're nicer, but there's just an insecurity about the men out there. They don't know really make moves.

If you're pursuing a guy and he's not all that responsive, when do you call it quits?
I do that really fast. I'm not the type of girl who keeps trying, and I sometimes call it too fast. I even do that sometimes with people I start to see. I find a reason to like, find something wrong with it and then I'll call it. Or I'll ignore them. I have a big problem with ignoring men I start to like. It's a strange thing. I'll start to like them and I'll get freaked out, and then I'll ignore them [laughs]. It's like I'm five.

Have you ever compromised or changed yourself to please a man?
I'm kind of like a guy in a lot of ways, but when you're first meeting a guy you try to be girly, and I've noticed that about myself. I'll start dressing up and trying to look good to be even more attractive to them, and it doesn't work. I've got to learn to just be myself the whole time. I know that I'm more appealing when I'm being myself, so I don't know why I go through that weirdness of "Now I have to really look good!" I think I hold back a lot of who I am.

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