Talking to Strangers

Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

 

Jillian, 24

Where's the craziest place you've hooked up?
It would have to be this one time in my favorite bar, on the sink. Just hanging out, a little random encounter, a special someone. Just a smooch — a bathroom-sink smooch.

I love it. You're a classy lady, just like me. What does a guy have to do to impress you?
Be very smart. I like grammatically correct text messages.

No shit! It drives me crazy when people misspell.
Or when they spell "shit" wrong — that's a dealbreaker.

If a guy wants to impress you, how can he make it happen?
By being a good conversationalist. Just by being interested in what I have to say: asking questions and really caring about the answers.

Have you ever offended anyone in the bedroom?
One time I used the wrong name!

Oh man, what did he do?
He forgave me.

Probably because he was in bed with you. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Absolutely. Sure, why not?

What do you look for in a guy?
Physically? Taller than me, dark features, and a nice smile.

What's the hottest thing someone's ever done for you?
I was having a really bad day. I lived in another state and the person I was dating called the city I was in. He ordered a pizza and a container of ice cream and had them delivered to me so I didn't have to worry about dinner. Being truly thoughtful is the hottest thing a man can do.

Adam, 28

What was your most recent hook-up?
It was this stewardess from American Airlines.

Wow, did you join the mile-high club?
No, I was on a bicycle tour in Paris and she was part of the group.

How do you let a girl know that you like her?
There are some small ways: the 101s of romance. But hooking up is different from romance. I had a romance recently, with a woman who was from Vancouver but whom I met in Berlin.

You're a worldly dude. How did you meet her?
I met her at a film festival. She made a film about Iranian bloggers — the population there is all under thirty-five, they're all computer-literate, and the whole government is trying to censor them. Anyway, I made love — sweet, beautiful love — to this woman. But, I was still in love with a different woman at this time.

Okay, so you're also a busy dude. Two women — what's the story?
The woman I was in love with was twenty-eight and going through a divorce. You can't hit on a woman who's twenty-eight and going through a divorce because that's sleazy. I'm not a sleazy guy. I'm not gonna do it. This woman stole my heart, my breath. Get this: everyday that I've been away from her, I've written her a letter that's at least six-hundred words. Two pages. Two full pages of writing every day, because she's awesome. Who does that? I'm totally compelled by this woman.

I'm kind of compelled by you right now.
And I haven't kissed her, I haven't had sex with her! I haven't gotten with her in any way and I just think she's awesome. That, to me, says something great. I told my best friend, "This girl, she's wonderful, I'm madly in love with her." And she's Australian. I hate Australian people as a rule, and she's Australian — what's the difference between a cup of yogurt and an Australian? If you take a cup of yogurt around the world, it will be cultured! I love that one. But she's Australian and she's been around the world. She's cultured. I can't believe it, I can't believe it with my own two eyes. She's amazing.

 

Liza, 22

How do you meet men?
I go up to boys in bars and say, "You look familiar."

Are you serious?
Well, once I went up to a guy at a bar — we were looking at each other, he was so cute — and I was interning at a production company in this high-rise. I was pretty sure I'd seen him in the lobby, so I asked if he worked in that building. And he goes, "No, but I used to." And then we started talking. I said, "I'm so sorry. I was staring at you because you looked familiar." And he said, "I was staring at you because you're beautiful."

Did you hook up with him?
We gave each other our numbers. I didn't hook up with him because I met someone else that night! An old flame called me.

So a guy wants to get with you — what does he need to do?
He needs to compliment me on my fantastic humor and wit. And he needs to have good shoes on.

Any dealbreakers?
No beards! And I don't like guys that are too self-deprecating.

What's the best date you've been on?
I haven't been on that many fantastic dates. There was this one guy who was crazy about me. Every time he wanted to see me, he said, "Hey, I'm in your neighborhood." Asshole, you live in my neighborhood! So he texted me that night — after that adorable guy told me I was beautiful. We took a cab back from Brooklyn together and he was like, "Let's go to your place." I was like, "I'm not going to sleep with you!" And he was like, "Let's go to Daddy's." And I was like, "No." And he was like, "Let me make a martini for you at my place." And I was like, "Okay." I think we had a fantastic evening.

Anytime a man has ever made a drink for me, it's always a better night.
It's always a better night. I love drinks and I love boys who know their drinks. It's just a hotter time.