Danny, 30

How's your sex life been lately?
Well, the gay men in Philly, they're all about sex.

But you're above that.
I am totally above that. I'm the kind of guy who wants to walk down the street and hold hands, not the kind of guy who wants to go home and get my brains fucked out. But fucking your brains out is good too. I just want all the romantic stuff first. Is that so bad?

No, of course not. Have your past relationships been like that?
I've only had four boyfriends, and they've all been very long term. They were all over two years, and my last one was almost five. We lived together, had a car together, had pets together. We were as married as you could get. But then he cheated on me.

I'm so sorry.
Don't worry — I'm so over it.

You deserve better than that.
You bet I do.

Why'd he cheat on you? It sounds like you had such a good relationship.
We did, but he couldn't tell me that he wasn't feeling the same way anymore. So he went out on his own and decided in his own head, "Oh, the relationship's over," but he didn't tell me.

That sounds cowardly.
Yeah, it is.

So you've been single since then?
Yup. And loving it.

Tell me what kind of guy you're in to.
I have range. Sometimes I like really "tough" guys, but I also like guys who are artistic and okay with themselves. I hate guys who whisper "I'm gay" to people. I hate that. I'm like, "I'm gay!" I don't care, because I've been out since I was thirteen.

So it's about confidence?
Well, it's not just the way you dress and what you listen to and how you present yourself. It's about... essence. You have to give off a really good essence for me to be attracted to you.

What's essence?
Like, everybody has fun when they're around you. I don't want you to be a downer.

So a positive person?
Yeah, like someone who knows who they are, knows what they've got, and knows how to use it.

 

Allison, 26

Tell me about your relationship life — single or dating?
Casually dating. I'm usually good on one or two dates, and then it falls off after that.

What was your last relationship like?
I was with someone for four-and-a-half years.

That's a long time.
Yeah. And he was my first boyfriend.

So how'd you meet?
I met him in high school. I was seventeen, and we were together all through college. I went to college, and he joined Special Forces, so he was in Afghanistan.

That must have been very hard on you.
Yeah, he got blown up a couple times. It was pretty bizarre.

But he was okay?
He ended up being okay. Of course you're scared, but you try not to think about it. Though to this day, I cannot watch war movies because it's just a little too real.

What was the hardest part?
We were going for nine months without seeing each other, and that takes a lot of getting used to. It takes a certain type of personality, but I got really good at it. I'm at college, and he's in the desert. I'm playing beer pong, and he's getting bombed by Al-Qaeda.

And that was your last boyfriend?
There's been a couple other guys, but nothing that's lasted longer than six months.

So you've been getting some.
I've been getting plenty some. You didn't ask that question.

How often?
I don't generally have a problem. I don't usually go more than two weeks.

How does it work? One-night stands?
No, I don't do one-night stands. There's been a couple of people who I've been dating for a couple of years, and we kind of cycle through each other.

So kind of like fuck-buddies.
Kind of like fuck-buddies. But then I'm also a hopeless romantic. So I'll go on these two dates with these guys and I'm like, "I really like him. I want him to be my boyfriend." Then I'll sleep with him and everything goes to shit, and I'm like "Fuck!" You think I would have learned not to do that by now. But I get really attached. So I'm a sucker.

That's sad.
Don't feel too bad. I get some good sex.

What attracts you to a guy?
It's an indescribable combination of style and confidence and personality. I run the gamut. I'll give anyone a chance who will give me a chance, considering I'm covered in tattoos.

What about physically?
Hands. Guys with good hands — it's a definite indication. Big and strong-looking and capable — the kind that look like they're going to throw you around and do good things. Hands are definitely better than feet. I know a lot of girls who are like, "Oh, he has really small feet," and I'm thinking, "Fuck feet!"

 

Terry, 27

What's your occupation?
Bartender.

Does that get you laid?
Nah, I got a girl, so I stay true.

Admirable. Did you meet her bartending?
Yeah, we bartended together.

That's cute as hell. So did one of you guys have to leave when you started dating?
Well, I beat up a guy she was flirting with, and then we both got fired.

Shit. That's dramatic.
Yeah, he was flirting with her, so I kicked his ass. Primal me.

Describe your girlfriend to me.
About five-foot-five, brown hair, natural beauty.

That's what you like in girls?
Yeah, she's not overdone. But she's sultry.

What was it that turned you on about her at first?
She was just laid-back, and I'm laid-back myself. Chemistry-wise, it worked, definitely. We started out as friends, and it just went from there, step by step.

How's the sex?
It's pretty good, man. We're, what, two years in? It's good.

I think that's when you start to find your groove with a girl. Pardon the pun.
I mean, there are peaks and valleys, and the valleys are understood and the peaks are more than enjoyed.

So you know how some guys will say, "I'm a leg man," or "I'm a tit man?" What kind of man are you?
I'm a freak man.

Interviews and photography by Alex Rudinksi. Want to talk to strangers in your neighborhood? Email submissions@nerve.com.