Mia, 22

What do you do for a living?
I'm a student and a waitress in North Beach.

Has that gotten you dates?
Being a student helps me meet people, but I find more opportunities at work.

What's your craziest story?
I've never hooked up on the job, but I did have a one-night stand with a gentleman from the neighborhood, which turned out to be a big mistake. He sort of started stalking me.

How did that end?
It ended when I told him to fuck off. It was weird.

Why did you go home with him in the first place?
We always had this lusty little no-speaking-to-each-other thing when I'd go to his work for coffee. We were both attracted to each other, so it finally happened. Then he let his creepy side out and it was too much. He showed up at my work drunk and flipped me off while I was working. And he almost got in a fight with someone who told him to leave. It was a really sad display. When I told him to get lost, he was still very desperate.

Did anything about the initial hookup clue you in to his desperate drunk side?
No, that was fine. It would've been a perfect one-night stand if it was just a one-time thing. But it turned out to be an ordeal.

What attracted you to him when you were just giving each other sex eyes?
It's pretty hard for me not to be attracted to a guy. I don't even have a type. There are so many beautiful things to like about someone. But this particular guy had this dark demeanor and was wearing a Star Wars shirt. But what really did it was when I came in one day and was reading Lord of the Rings.

Which one?
The first one. And he came over and put my coffee on the table and looked over at what I was reading and said, "Hmm, good book." And that's what did it. I guess that's a weakness of mine. You could give me any nerd reference and I'll automatically have a kinship with you, if not an attraction, for you.

Star Wars and Lord of the Rings are pretty mainstream now, though. Is there a particular nerd thing that gets you?
Well, it's hard to find true Lord of the Rings lovers.

That's true. How do you differentiate between the real nerds and the faux nerds?
If we're talking and I bring up the Elder Days and you don't know who Elbereth or Lúthien is, then you clearly don't know what's up.

Yeah, you have to be sure you're not shacking up with a poser. Once I was watching Return of the King with a guy I had a crush on and he paused it to see if I knew the name of Saruman's orb. And I was like, "Duh, it's the palantír."
Yeah, if your eyes glaze over after a question like that, it's done.

Where's a good place to meet real nerds in San Francisco?
They pop up randomly. In eclectic areas like this park, there's a mix of people and you can spot them out. Or I like to read in coffee shops and people will come up and comment usually. Or at school. I'm always in the chemistry building.

What do you study?
Environmental studies and civil engineering. So I'm around a lot of engineers and physics majors.

Engineers are great, though.
They're the best kind of nerd.

But there are different kinds of engineers. What's the hierarchy?
I do civil, but the computer engineers are really cool. They're the really confident, self-aware nerds.

If you spot a cute guy reading in a coffee shop, what book would be the biggest turn on?
It's hard these days, because that could be totally pretentious. But Bukowski would be great. Kurt Vonnegut I love. The classics. Even graphic novels.

What book would be the biggest dealbreaker?
I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. That's the ultimate douchebag anthem. Where I'm from, everyone in high school was like that. Basically just Baja-style, ultimate partier, bar-hopping, bro douchebag. If they read at all, it was something like that.

NEXT: "I should've noticed something when she joined roller derby..."