Carlos, 38, and Lydia, 42

What do you guys do for a living?
Lydia: I do grants accounting for UCSF, but I'm a musician for fun.
Carlos: I'm an assassin for the federal government.

Why are you telling me your secrets?
Carlos: Because I'm really a software developer.

I knew there was more to you. What's your guys' story?
Lydia: We met online and wrote emails for about a week until we met in person.

What attracted you to each other initially?
Lydia: We had a lot of common stuff on our profiles. We both mentioned The Pixies and bowling. And we both live in the Mission.

Where did you end up meeting?
Carlos: Here in the park. We just hung out and drank some beer and had get-to-know-you kind of banter. Then we got dinner and went to the beach to hang out.

How'd the rest of the night go?
Lydia: Well, on our way to the beach on our first date, we happened to drive by my ex's house, which is in Ocean Beach. And my heart sunk and I realized that I wasn't really ready to date. We were having fun, but I had to email Carlos and say I wasn't in a good space. He was very nice about it.

How did you take it, Carlos?
Carlos: I was disappointed, but I've gotten to a point where I don't want to push anything. It would've been a lot of effort for a lot of heartache. I have a pretty zen approach, where if it's not going to click for both people, I just let it go.

So you're both hanging out as friends?
Carlos: Yeah, there's no reason to forego some sort of meaningful relationship just because it's not the kind that you originally set out for.
Lydia: I was upset because I liked you and I felt a connection.
Carlos: I'm pretty likable.
Lydia: Yeah, for sure! But now we're here with his dog Rudy. We're going to a show later too.

That sounds unnaturally civil. No one's going to try to make a move on the other?
Carlos: Well, I'm going to continue driving by her house every night.
Lydia: Exactly.
Carlos: Just to see if the lights are on.

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