Love & Sex

Talking to Strangers: San Francisco Cab Edition

Pin it

Talking to Strangers: San Francisco Cab Edition

Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met… in a cab.

BY Ruth Tam

Frieda, 25

What do you do for a living?
I'm a waitress in the Mission.

Has waiting tables improved your love life?
It has!

Have people left their numbers on receipts and stuff like that?
Yeah, it's a connection. Nothing big has come out of it, though. It definitely leads to dating in the industry.

Does it lead to a lot of incest in your work family?

Is that a good or bad thing?
It's a great thing! It can be bad, obviously. A lot of people cheat. That's a con. But a pro is that you're working around alcohol and you wanna have a good time.

Have you ever hooked up at the restaurant?
Not the one I work at now. But I've had sex in a bar when the doors were already open for customers to come in. In the wine room. A room downstairs for private parties. I went down there to hook up with the guy I was dating and we ran into two co-workers down there doing the same thing.

So this is an established thing that people in the restaurant industry do?
I guess. It's harder here. Urban planning makes it a bit more difficult.

Would you ever date anyone outside the restaurant business?
Of course!

What's good-looking to you?
I don't know! I just got out of a five-year relationship and I saw other people and was like, "Whoa, I didn't know I was attracted to that kind of guy." Now I'm all over the place.

Do you still talk to your ex?
I haven't seen him, but I don't want to kill him anymore.

What do you do to cope after breakups?
I'm not the person to ask. I wish I hadn't done certain things.

Have you ever hooked up in a cab?
Yeah, lots of times! Mostly in Madrid. Yeah, I gave blowjobs. Let's end at blowjobs.

NEXT: "That's the worst thing I ever heard in my life."

Jameson, 35, and Doug, 35

What do you do for a living?
Jameson: We're skateboarders. This is one of the most famous places in the world to skateboard.

Do you have day jobs?
Doug: …Retail.
Jameson: Marketing.

Okay, forget that. Do you use skateboarding to attract ladies?
Doug: Not all of them.
Jameson: When we were growing up, it wasn't as popular. Now it is.
Doug: Honestly, though, we're not targeting anybody. When we're out skateboarding, we're doing it for ourselves. If someone's attracted to us, that's an added bonus. And being a skateboarder is an added bonus for her. She's like, "Oh, he's athletic? Oh, that's why he hit it so good."
Jameson: But you know what we do to get the ladies? We bubble. We bubble into clubs.

Please explain.
Doug: It's when you get into a bar or a club for free. When you drop us off at the Mezzanine, you'll see. It's called bubbling.

Do you have any lines that you use as well?
Jameson: No, no lines.
Doug: Just act natural.
Jameson: Freestyle. It's like freestyle rapping.

Are you into lady skateboarders?
Doug: There were a lot of them at Rock The Bells today. Oh my God.
Jameson: Yeah, hoochie mamas all day long.

I used to date a guy who was big into rollerblading —
Jameson: That's the worst thing I ever heard in my life.

Why is there such a rivalry between skateboarders and rollerbladers?
Jameson: They're fruitbooters. Rollerblading gives a woman a good booty. But as far as a man doing it… what the fuck is that?
Doug: It doesn't defy the laws of gravity.
Jameson: It doesn't take a lot of time to learn what you're doing. Skateboarding, you've got to start when you're young. Old-school rollerskating, that disco shit, is much better than rollerblading. But if a girl wants to rollerblade, more power to her.

What's your best hookup story?
Jameson: Actually, my first threesome I met at Club 6.

Did you bubble in?
Jameson: We bubbled. We were definitely bubbling. You want to see us bubble? Drop us up front here. But yeah, it was a great time. You know what's funny, though? I had three threesomes in one year and I haven't had any since.

Ah, a magical year of threesomes.
Jameson: I was on a roll one year! Once I learned how to do it, I kept doing it and then all of a sudden…

You got burned out?
I think I'm over my prime.

Have you ever hooked up in a cab?
Doug: No.
Jameson: I have. Just fingered this girl. Doing cocaine.

NEXT: "I think people who wear them want to be mistaken for a baby…"

Alex, 20

What do you do for a living?
I'm a student and I work full-time as a sales associate at Bloomingdale's.

Have you met anyone through your job?
No, not at all. It's all women and I'm gay.

Do you use any of your skills as a sales associate to land dates?
No. My job is to talk someone into buying something, and on a date, I'm not trying to talk someone into liking me. The attraction should be natural.

That makes sense. Where do you meet guys, then?
The past few dates I've been on have been with men I've met online on Grindr.

What's your best hookup story?
I've had Grindr since high school, so last year, I was on spring break at Panama City Beach. There aren't a lot of gay men at Panama City Beach, so I got my Grindr on and met the closest guy who was around. We totally hooked up on the beach, and it was fun. I usually don't have sex with people I don't know, so that was crazy.

What's the worst date you've had from someone you met online?
I met this guy at Union Square after I got off work and he walked me home. We went on a few dates after that and it wasn't awful, but we didn't mesh and things got really awkward.

Did you disagree on something big?
I go to the Academy of Art and he goes to San Francisco Art Institute, and he was making fun of the stereotypes about the Academy's students. It got awkward because he knew that I went there. That was kind of weird.

So is being an art snob a dealbreaker?
Making fun of someone in a non-playful way is definitely a dealbreaker. You don't want to make someone feel like shit.

That seems like a no-brainer. So you're studying fashion design. Is there a particular trend that's a huge turnoff?
I see a lot of European men wearing drop-crotch pants where it's tight from the knee down but around the thighs, it's really baggy. Kind of like Hammer pants or a diaper? Those came back for a second.

What are the advantages of wearing drop-crotch pants? More room to breathe?
I think people who wear them want to be mistaken for a baby. Kind of embarrassing: I used to have a pair two years ago.

Yikes. What's a dealmaker?
Style. Physically, I like stocky, tall men. Facial hair's great. A full-on beard is great, as long as it's not dirty. As far as non-physical characteristics, humor and empathy. Those are things I look for in everybody, not just in relationships.

Are you seeing anyone now?
No, I haven't been in a relationship since, oh God, last November. My ex and I aren't on speaking terms. And I haven't been on a date in two or three months.

Is there a reason why you and your ex don't talk?
We had no closure. I think that it was because I was more into him than he was into me. And I think he knew that.

Have you ever hooked up in a cab?
No, I haven't. And I think I would!