Talking to Strangers: Seattle, WA

Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

by Shanell Robertson

Shanti, 33

How long have you been in the Seattle area?
Getting close to a year now. I'm from the Bay Area.

What do you do?
I'm a musician, an artist, a traveler, nomad, gypsy.

Do you get a lot of dates with your profession? I would assume yes.
I think women love men with talent and skill.

What was the last relationship you were in?
The last serious relationship I was in was with my second wife. It was for five years. My second marriage wasn't like my first marriage. In my first marriage, my wife was much more easy-going, flexible. My second wife was sharp as steel. We were sharper towards each other. We really did make each other better, but it was sort of like two lions. It was a battle. We were both into perfection and exactness and seeking to bring that out of each other.

Do you have any crazy exes?
Yes, I do have some crazy exes. To me, that shit is scary. I try to break it down and find the crazy before, you know, it explodes in your face.

And you haven't been successful at that.
I think I am successful! Because I feel real choosy. It's a luxury as a man to be choosy.

Do you have any crazy hookup stories?
Yeah! A ménage à trois with my guitar and another female. That was pretty good time.

That sounds pretty scary, actually.
When you actually divide your attention, it's pretty complex. That was pretty rock star, you know? And I feel like I am a rock star. It was great.

You said that your first partner was chill and you butted heads with the second partner. What qualities are you looking for in a third?
I mean, I'm thirty-three years old and I have an eighteen-year-old daughter. She's going off to the University of London, so I'm on a level where I'm done. I've accomplished, defeated. I've done well with children, and so I feel finished.

You feel finished?
Finished on some level, you know what I mean? As thirtysomethings, people are like, "Yeah, I'm ready to settle down and have a family." I already sort of did those things. So now I'm feeling free, I'm feeling grown. I can enjoy this part of my life. They say the thirties are the new twenties!

So then you're really ahead of the game.
I'm appreciating this moment, and my daughter just came up here to see me. She's about to go and it's great. So I feel like I'm in another place. I've been married twice. My father had five wives, so that's something that I always aspire to.

You aspire to have five wives?
Yep, in a lifetime I do. Five awesome women who change me and make me better, more spectacular. For all the women I've been with, I had two wives. That was serious commitment. You know, a woman is like water, and they touch me, they move me, and they direct me and make me a better man. I always seek the challenge of it. People will never be simple.