Talking to Strangers: Sofia, Bulgaria
Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.
BY Martina Dechevska
Where are you from?
I'm from Plovdiv.
So what are you doing in Sofia?
I'm visiting some of my friends and I'm going to see Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Do you have a boyfriend now?
Yes, we've been together for five years. We were at a show together and we met through common friends. I added him on MySpace and I started flirting with him. Then we went out on a date and we started making out.
How did you find out that he liked men?
I didn't. I just tried.
What's your special skill for flirting?
I've been told that I become a bitch when I want someone. I just feel what the person wants and I give it to him.
Are you into women?
No, I'm not sexually attracted to women at all.
Have you ever had sex with a woman?
Sex, no, foreplay, yes — kisses, fingering, and licking.
Do you remember your first love?
Oh yes. We met at a bar in Plovdiv. I was thirteen, and he was twenty-five. I was living with my parents, so every day I was taking a cab to his place. We were fucking every day and I was very blinded by him — he was in my mind all the time. One day I went to see him and his door was unlocked, so I walked in, and I found him in bed with some woman. I just turned around, left my bus ticket on the table, and I closed the door. Next day he texted me asking what happened and why I didn't show up. Then I found out he wasn't in bed with a woman but with a transvestite, and that he was a total slut — as a bartender in the biggest mix club in Plovdiv, he was with a different guy every night. He explained to me that this was normal. I was heartbroken, and I ended everything with him.
Do you prefer short-term or long-term relationships?
I've always wanted someone by my side, and I mean support. But I have a lot of dark fantasies. Sharing or one-night stands.
What's your darkest fantasy?
I have a fetish for sex with very straight guys.
Have you ever had a threesome?
Once with two much older guys, but it was only foreplay. I was sixteen; they were thirty and up.
And have you ever had a one-night stand?
Yes. A lot of times. It's fun.
What qualities should a guy have to be your boyfriend?
I don't look for qualities, but I look for someone who loves who I am.
If they legalize gay marriage in Bulgaria, will you marry your boyfriend?
No. I don't see the point. I don't think that "the signature" means anything, especially in Bulgaria.
NEXT: "They lack manners, respect for women, style, and class…"
Where are you from, Lili?
I'm from Sofia. I test software, and I dance salsa and swing in my free time.
What do you think about the men in Sofia?
Total jerks. They lack manners, respect for women, style, and class.
Where do you think there are men who have all these things?
In France. The last time I was really impressed by a man, he was French.
Did you meet him in Sofia?
No, that was on Sunny Beach, on the seaside. We met in a bar at Cacao Beach, called Bedroom. He bought me a drink and then we started a conversation. I went home with him few days after.
How many times did you see him before you guys had sex?
Two or three times. We were on a vacation.
How was the sex? Was it better than with a Bulgarian?
Well, I can't say that it was due to nationality, but the emotions were very important. He also answered all my ideals for a men.
What are your ideals?
As I told you, the manners are very important. Also, I'm looking for an artistry. I like confidence — when a man is flirting with you and knows how to get what he wants, knows not to be shy, knows not to play like a little kid.
Do you have a boyfriend now?
Are you looking for one?
No, I'm living my life and I enjoy every day of it.
Where can you find the hottest guys in Sofia?
I recently met some guys through work, some who were my dance partners, some I met through common friends. I like dancers.
Do you think that a sexual attraction is a must between dance partners?
Well, one of the best dancing couples — world champions from the West Coast — are actually a brother and a sister. So sometimes you need skills, but for the social dance, the dance of the conversation, it's very important to have attraction. There's a saying in Bulgaria that the dance is a vertical expression of horizontal intentions, so I think there must be passion.
When did you had sex for the first time?
I was seventeen. It was horrible. He wasn't exactly my boyfriend — we were lovers for year and a half. Actually, we had some "relationship" that no one ever understood, and then some drama happened and put the final point on my teenage passions. It was a high-school story.
What's the biggest turn-on and the biggest turn-off for you on a first date?
A lot of things turn me off. I really despise obvious aggression. About turn-ons, I'll be impressed if he's honest and open-minded. I don't have a certain type — at first I liked dark eyes, then I liked blonde-haired blue-eyed guys, then I liked dark hair and bright eyes, and then all kinds of combinations. I'm impressed more from the soul now and if a man can dance with heart. I like if the guy isn't stuck in society's chains but can afford to be free.
NEXT: "Actually, there are a lot of pretty girls all over Bulgaria…"
My name is Todor. I'm from Varna, but I live here in Sofia now.
What do you do here?
I study third-year philosophy. You catch me actually right before the exam, which is crucial for me to pass into the last year of my study. The subject is "formal logic."
What made you study philosophy?
I was always very interested in it. I graduated from a marine high school in Varna and I thought about continuing my education in that direction, but I failed on the math exam, so I decided to move to Sofia and study here. The winter here is much better than the winter in Varna. But the summer in Varna rocks!
Where do you think the girls are hotter — in Varna or here?
In Varna they may be even hotter. But actually, there are a lot of pretty girls all over Bulgaria.
Do you have a girlfriend now?
No. How can a guy choose only one? I have a lot of love in me!
What's your longest relationship?
What are you looking for in a woman?
It's very important for her to be able to reflect my current state, and the opposite. When two people meet in a moment and they "resonate" in the same way, they get together. The next moment, if one of them changes his priorities or starts being interested in different things, it's over.
Have you ever done a long-distance relationship?
No, I don't believe in them. I see them as very unreal.
What will happen if you fall in love with a girl and she has to go and live far away?
I would let her go and follow her own way. If we're meant to meet again, we'll meet.
Are you looking for a girlfriend now?
When you stop looking for them, that's when they come, so I'm not looking.
What do you think about the one-night stands?
I'm totally down. It's very relieving. I'm no saint.
What's a dealbreaker for you?
If she talks about herself too much. If she waits for me just to finish whatever I'm saying so she can start talking again. People should listen to each other.
Have you had any summer crushes?
Oh yeah, in Varna, on the beach. This summer, for example, a friend of mine liked one girl, but I didn't knew he was into her, so I tried my chance and it ended up that she liked me more. So he was a little bit upset. However, he's a sailor, so now he's on a ship for six months.
How long were you seeing that girl?
Till the end of August, 'cause she left for Paris. But she'll be back in the winter, so we'll see…
How long does it takes you to fall in love?
I have a little bit different perception of that. I think that this feeling evolves and if the "falling in love" ends, then it hasn't been anything real. True love is when, even you're not together, you keep having good intercourse.
Do you think that studying philosophy helps you with the girls?
If the girls like to listen. It's not for everyone.