Love & Sex

Talking to Strangers: SXSW Edition

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Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we met at SXSW.

Justin Barco, 20; Dork Dozier, 21; Dame 55, 20; Turbo T. Double, 22

Tell us a little bit about what you all do.

Dame 55: I'm Dame 55. We're all a collective called the Dorks. We all come from different backgrounds and walks of life. I'm here at SXSW to play at Malaya, which I just played at. And we're all here to represent art and culture. My man Dork makes bow ties.

Dork: Yeah, my own bow-tie line. It's called TABB. It stands for Think a Bit Bigger. We also have our own music group called Toy, within the Dorks. I'm the lead singer, and this man right here, Turbo T. Double…

Turbo: I'm kind of like a separate entity, but we're all family at the end of the day. I make music, I play the violin, I direct and edit my own videos.

So you guys all have your own thing going on, but you come together as The Dorks.

Dork: We also have this man, Justin Barco.

Justin: I work in fashion and film and film my act, and I'm a personal stylist and a designer for high-fashion couture.

Who's getting laid the most here at SXSW?

Dork: It would definitely be me, Dork Dozier.

Turbo: Who's getting paid the most?

Dork: Laid! Laid the most!

Turbo: Oh! Me! That would be me, Turbo T. Double. My leftovers go to Dork and Justin.

Dork: C'mon! I was the only one to even hear that question. They're not on their Ps and Qs! It's definitely Dork Dozier.

What do you guys think is most sexy about you?

Dork: I can't take away from my looks, but I would definitely say the women love us because of our character and our style. We're one and only. We are the Dorks, and there's no one out here like us. We're from L.A., and that's where we get all our attention, from the way we act and the way we dress. And then when they see our faces, that's where it all pops off.

Turbo: One important thing — hygeine. A lot of people fail to brush their teeth, to clean their clothes. You've got to pay attention to your details and make sure everything is 100%.

Dork: I second that.

What do you see as the biggest difference between the ladies in L.A. and the ladies that you meet here in Austin?

Dork: Austin I guess is a little more dirty and down and ready to party.

Justin: L.A.'s the same way, but they get a little more dressed up. It's a little more fashionable out in L.A., only because of where we live and what L.A. stands for. It's L.A. fashion week, so everyone's on their Ps and Qs with what they're wearing and where they're at.

Dork: A lot of the women in Austin are comfortable right now. A lot of people that live out here are just ready to have a good time.

You mean they're loose.

Dork: I was going for the nicer term, but hey, we'll do that! A lot of them are definitely ready to have fun. Also, bigger booties in Texas.

Sometimes there's some hate between New York and L.A., but I will say that one thing New York ladies say about L.A. ladies is that they're sluttier.

[general commotion]

Dork: No no no no, you know what? You know what? I got an answer for that. New York girls just have harder shells. But once you break that shell, oh, they're all for it. New York girls are just rougher.

Turbo: Girls in these other regions outside New York just know what they want out of life, so it's easier to get down to a ground level with them.

Dame 55: Once they find out that we're from L.A. then all hell breaks loose.

Dork: It's definitely easier for an L.A. brother to get a New York girl than a New York guy to get a New York girl.

Why is that?

Dork: 'Cause our dapperness is on point! And our proper speech, they love it! It's immaculate! They drop their panties after that!

Turbo: Discrimination between the imaginary and the real can only be made through behavior, and L.A. carries a certain character that can't be found anywhere else on earth.

Dork: I have no comment after that.

 

Megan, 33

What do you do?
I work at a biotech company.

Where are you from?
San Francisco.

What's the best sex advice you could give?
The best advice I could give is never mistake the hand sanitizer for lube. They look the same in the dark in your purse. Big mistake.

A lot of burning could result?
Um, yes.

What's the worst sex advice?
I think the idea that if you sleep with a guy enough he will fall in love with you.

Have you ever done that?
Ha. I think I still do it.

You're here for SXSW Interactive. How do you think social networking changes the ways we engage romantically and sexually with people?
We live in an age where kids are going to ask how their parents met, and they're going to say mommy Tweeted daddy. There's going to be a whole generation of Craigslist Casual Encounters babies.

Have you ever used Craigslist Casual Encounters?
Yes! Twice. And it was crazy.

What happened?
Well, I was bored at work one day and I posted on Casual Encounters, and my co-worker from two cubicles down answered me and sent his picture with his real email address. At least I used a fake name and email. I'm classy! And I worked with his girlfriend.

What? Did you tell her?
No. I tried to push him. Get him to send me some more sexually explicit stuff, like nude pictures, just so I would have hard evidence, but I think I pushed him too far and he stopped replying to my emails.

So you never told?
Nope. I didn't want to get in the middle of things.

Was he your boss?
No, he wasn't at the time. But I was his supervisor at a later point. We worked at a flower company.

 

Brian, 21

What do you do?
I'm a pro-skater. My name is Brian Freeman. A lot of people call me B-Free. I'm an aggressive rollerblader.

How many times have you heard the joke…
"What's the hardest thing about rollerblading?" Every time you have skates on. People just don't understand it because they haven't seen it, so it's kind of like a lost art I guess you could say. And then when people see it, they're like, "Damn, this is tight as shit!" You see skateboards so much it's like drinking water. But when you see rollerblading, people stop, like, "Oh my God, people still do that?" [to female friend] You think rollerblading's tight? You think skating's tight? You think what I do is cool? [Friend: "I didn't recognize it til you did it, Brian. But I recognize it now."] People just got to see it, you know?

I'm seeing it a lot more in New York.
New York is one of the Meccas of rollerblading. It's such a diverse place, and there are so many crews of rollerbladers because New York is so big. You've got to check out rollernews.com.

Where are you from?
I was born in Oakland, California, but I was raised here in Texas.

How do you feel about SXSW? Do you feel like people are invading your city, or do you love it?
I love it. People come here out of passion. Music's a big deal for people here in Austin, so when people come through, they take a little piece of Texas with them when they leave. I think that's why everyone comes back.

How many years have you gone to SXSW?
The last three. I just got more heavily into the skating stuff though, so I just got back off a tour Monday. I've been gone for four weeks.

Has rollerblading gotten you laid?
Yes. But… not because of that. I think it's a personality thing. If you didn't know that I rollerbladed, you'd probably think I was a fuckin'… rapper, straight out of prison, like, tattooed, black motherfucker [laughs]. People judge shit all the time.

So, what's the best sex advice you've ever gotten in your life?
Breathe. If you breathe the same pace as your partner, that's the secret to everything. Then sex is amazing all the time. That's the secret, I swear to God. It's like making music. Learn how to breathe.

What's your craziest story from SXSW?
Well, I just got back Monday, but I hope to pull my version of The Hangover at SXSW this year. Fucked up, looking at pictures, trying to remember what the fuck's going on.

Jordan, 30

Do you live in Austin?
I just moved here. I like it so far.

How is the scene with the ladies here?
It looks like a total sword-fest out here, but it's 6th St., so that's not very representative.

I mean the city in general.
I'm getting a real natural vibe — lot of dreads, lot of hula hoops and flame-throwing — and then at the other side of the spectrum, the orange UT girls. I can only guess that they tan. Maybe it's a lot of vitamin C deficiency.

What's your opinion of that natural vibe?
It depends on the time of night. I will consider almost anything.

Have you ever had sex with a woman with dreads?
No, I haven't.

I have had sex with a man with dreads. And you know what? It was okay. They were clean dreads. What do you think about Brazilian waxing?
I am a fan of vaginas in general, no matter what is growing off of them.

I appreciate that. We all appreciate that.
I'm still practically fourteen when it comes to women. Just the idea of sex blows my mind still. It's such a novel concept. Just the idea of sleeping with someone is still exciting and novel to me, instead of, you know, there have to be anal beads and yada yada. With me it's always been like, "I can't believe she's naked!"

What's the most ill-advised thing you've ever done sexually?
I actually was in a relationship with a girlfriend for hire. It's not exactly hooking, it's girls who date extremely rich men, and there is sex involved, but those men mostly pay for their company.

Did you know what she did when you first met her?
No. It shocked me at first.

Had you slept with her before you found out?
No, and she cut it off when we started dating. But it turns out that it tends to be that people who are involved in that line of business are fucked-up in general.

Was she dating one man or many?
She was dating two.

What kind of perks did she get?
She never had to pay for anything. Figure-wise, she was making, by sleeping with one guy a week, about eighty grand a year.

So you could think of it as this girl giving up eighty-thousand dollars a year to be with you.
Oh yeah, totally. And she was paying her way through school. So I could totally see how — dude, half the guys I know, if they would get paid one-thousand dollars a pop to sleep with a forty-five-year-old woman, would totally do that. This was just a person who didn't have a sentimental attachment to sex. I understand now how you can dance with someone in a ballroom dancing class and it's totally different from dancing with your wife. And when you take that to an extreme, you can sleep with someone and it's just sex.

When was the last time you got lucky?
Right before I moved here, so, three weeks ago.

Are you in a relationship with the lady?
I was. I had to move. I don't believe in long-distance relationships. I don't think they work. My idea of a relationship is not seeing somebody every six weeks. There's no connection there. It's just the idea of being with someone instead of actually being with them.

Given that we're in the middle of SXSW Interactive here, I should point out that some people think Facebook and the phone are enough to maintain a long-distance relationship.
It's just an illusion. You have to be face to face, you have to put up with someone, you have to compromise. There's just so much you get from having to choose to be with someone. That weekend hangout every few weeks, it's just not realistic. You're still living on the fantasy.

How serious was the relationship before you moved?
It was serious. She's an amazing woman.

 

Christine, 20

Where do you live?
I go to school, but I'm originally from Dallas.

What are you doing at SXSW?
I'm here to hear all these great bands play. I don't know where they're playing or what they'll be doing at what times, but I'm just going to walk the streets and hopefully I'll run into somebody awesome.

What's the best romantic relationship advice you've ever received?
I was really down about being single, and my mom was like, "Babe, you're hot, you're twenty, you don't need to worry about tying yourself down right now. Go have fun, do whatever you want, drink, party." My mom.

Has anyone ever cheated on you?
I broke up with him right before he cheated on me, so… no. I was literally watching him about to hook up with this girl, and I walked over to him and broke up with him. That was awkward.

That asshole.
I hated him for like six months, and we had to sit next to each other in class.

Did he stay with the other woman he hooked up with?
Yeah, he did. They didn't date right after we broke up, but a couple weeks later.

Have you ever been to SXSW before?
No, it's my first time.

Have you done anything crazy?
Not yet. I'm pretty sure once I finish this drink…

That's a thirty-two ounce…
Coke. I made the mistake of pouring too much… Coke in here, and now I can taste the… Coke. It's really good, though! [laughs]

 

Chris, 25

Do you meet a lot of girls being a pedicab driver?
Dude, I get so many numbers this way. You've got your ass right there, they love it.

How much ass have you pulled?
I don't know. A good amount.

Is it better during SXSW?
Yeah, at South By, you just meet every kind of girl, and they're all in a good mood, because there's alcohol everywhere and music. So, it's a really fantastic time.

How's SXSW going for you?
Fan-fucking-tastic. I've had a great day. I got a really good vibe from a lot of people today. Met some cool folks, gave some nice tours. Made a bunch of cash so far. I got tipped in a gram of weed earlier, that was cool. Last night, these dudes hooked me up with a hash lollipop, that was fantastic. It's been a real good ride so far.

Do you get a lot of tips in drugs?
I mean, not all. [laughs]

Do you prefer it?
If you give me cash, I like cash as well.

What do you do?
I go to school. I study. I'm a student.

Do you have a 'best story' from all your SXSWs? How many SXSWs have you been here for?
This is my first time working the cab, but I have been here for three or four. I've had great nights. You're chilling outside of clubs and you get to meet some of your favorite bands. That's my favorite part of South By.

Do you have a greatest moment, though?
It just involves shrooms and journeys.

Journey the band or journeys of the mind?
No, they were just journeys of the mind. Deep, introspective, third-eye kind of voyages. And, then you meet people who have DMT. Ever try DMT?

Don't even know what DMT is.
Well, DMT is this chemical, dimethyltryptamine. It occurs in most living things. You've got it in your brain right now. It's the most powerful hallucinogen known to man. It's fantastic. You should give it a try some time.

What do you see when you do DMT?
What most people report is entering a room full of deities who tell you about your life. Some people report going on a trans-dimensional, intergalactic voyage led by one guiding spirit. It varies, but the most common one is the party with the deities.

Is that what happened to you?
Yeah. And sometimes on the intergalactic voyage you see your life laid out in front of you, but, like, from a different dimension. It's a really quick trip and to describe it to you would be hard. You really have to experience it yourself to understand.

If you could give me one take-away from your trip on DMT, what would it be? Did it change your life?
I think world peace would be possible, if everybody tried it. Or at least people would understand why they do evil things and why other people do good things. You understand the balance of nature better after you've done it. Buddhism is more appealing, because it's a lot more logical. It's a fantastic time.

Are you on DMT right now?
No, but you've got it in your brain and so do I. Your body naturally produces it. It's also the reason for near-death experiences. When you die, all the DMT in your pineal gland gets released, and that's why people report the white light and out of body experiences. It's all DMT. And your pineal gland is believed to be your vestigial third eye. You know some lizards actually have lenses and corneas on theirs? We just have the pineal gland. That's really how you connect with the natural plane. You ever listen to the Wu-Tang Clan?

Yes.
When they say "I know my astral plane," they smoked DMT. It's the kind of drug that should be the new acid, if there were a flower-power scene for this generation.

How much does it cost?
The guy I know only lets people smoke it if they're worthy. I view him as kind of an intergalactic gatekeeper. I don't know about a street price or anything.

What do you study in school?
Electrical engineering and biotechnology, like tiny robots in your blood stream and stuff. I think, if more scientists did DMT, that they'd be coming to better scientific conclusions and doing better work. This kind of sounds like an ad for DMT, but it kind of should be I guess.

Interviews by Kelly Bourdet. Photography by Tommy Kearns. Want to talk to strangers in your town? Email submissions@nerve.com.