Love & Sex

Talking to Strangers: The Mermaid Parade

Pin it

She leaned over the bar and said to us, “Oh, you guys are totally going to go home and have sex, aren’t you?” We said, “Um, this is our first date…”.

Molly, 26

What do you do for a living?

I’m actually a dental assistant.

Have you ever been laid because of your job?

No, nobody on Earth has ever said, “Let me screw a dental assistant.”

Too bad. There’s room for a lot of oral sex double entendre there. Is this your first ever Mermaid Parade?

Yes, it is. I’m a parade virgin. 

How down are you with sex on the beach or on a boardwalk like Coney Island?

I’m pretty down with it, but it gets pretty sandy. The idea is better than the execution. I’ve done oral on the beach  but never had full-on sex. I’d say if you’re going to have sex on the beach, you better bring blankets.

What is your favorite hook up story?

One time I went out to a bar in New York.  I was sitting with this guy I had only just met that night. We started talking a little over drinks. But we had spoken a couple times that night. We ended up going downstairs in the lounge area and we had sex there. We didn’t get caught. It was worth it.

Are you into public sex, then?

I wouldn’t say I’m into it, but if the situation calls for it, then sure. It’s something that as I’ve gotten older, I’m more cautious of my environment. 

Are you single now?

Yes. I think I haven’t found anyone yet because I’m ready to settle down, have children, and puppies and all of that. A lot of people actually aren’t into that here. 

Do you believe in love at first sight, though?

Yes. I believe in love at first sight because I’m a believer that if you can look at someone and feel an automatic connection with them, then I think it’s possible that someone else could feel that for you. As long as you’re willing to be honest with yourself and be honest with the other person, then you can go from there. It’s a choice. True love is a choice, ironically. You choose to be with that person. You could have love at first sight with a million different people, but it’s the one person you choose to spend the rest of your life with. To accept all things about them—good, bad, or indifferent. People will spend their whole lives saying, “You know what? I have to be with this person.” There really aren’t soulmates. There are a lot of people you can be with, you just have to sort through the pros and cons of those people you have the initial connection with.

What was your worst date ever?

I had one where the bartender believed that my date and I were married. She leaned over the bar and said to us, “Oh, you guys are totally going to go home and have sex, aren’t you?” We said, “Um, this is our first date…”.

Did it put an awkward air on things? Did you actually go home and have sex with him?

No, we never did. It didn’t put an awkward air on it because we both didn’t have personalities that made it that way. I don’t really let really awkward things get to me, anyway. A situation is only awkward if you make it awkward. 

I noticed everyone at the Mermaid Parade goes all out with costumes. Are costumes something you’ve brought into the bedroom before?

I have. I mean, sometimes I’m a dominatrix. So, there's a leather aspect to everything. But I don’t really have a character that I prefer. My favorite hat to put on is being me. If a person asked me to be any character, I probably would be. It doesn’t really matter. I'm game for it all.

One last question. I have to know: How does a mermaid have sex?

You know what? I think it’s sort of like how dolphins have sex. I think that’s just how they do it, minus the whole dolphin rape thing. I guess they probably just unzip their fins.

Rachel, 26

What do you do for a living?

I’m an office administrative assistant.

Does doing that job ever get you laid? Any office romances to speak of?

No, but I’m also going to school for writing. That’s proving to be more profitable hook-up wise than my job. I think people are attracted because I write.

So, we're here on Coney Island. How do you feel about sex on the beach? Have you done it before?

No, I’ve never done it before, but I’m not opposed to it. I guess it could be sandy, but if you’re drunk enough, then, whatever. 

What is your favorite hook up story?

I guess it would have to be with the person I am with now who I met in film class. On our first date we went to the Botanical Gardens and we kissed on the grass. I got on top of him. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to public sex. I’ve just never really had the chance since.

I see that you’re dressed up for the Mermaid Parade. Would you say that a lot of people who dress up for this are into role-playing in the bedroom? Are you?

I’m definitely into dressing up in the bedroom. My favorite costume I’ve ever worn is a French maid.

What'd that entail, heavy cleaning? Did you scrub any tubs?

I didn’t have to do any heavy cleaning, but I did dust a penis. That's all I'll say. [Laughs].

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yeah, of course.

Why do you?

I don’t know, it’s like a sexual attraction. It’s partially sexual and it always begins that way, but I think it can definitely develop into more quickly.

Is this relationship you’re in going to be long term? What are you ultimately looking for in someone?

I don’t know if the relationship I’m in will turn out to be anything. It’s too soon to tell, but I’m looking for someone who isn’t really boring, is smart, spontaneous. It’s kind of hard to find that all together. Oh, I forgot to say they need to be attractive. That makes it really difficult. It’s a whole puzzle you need to fit together.

How do mermaids have sex?

I wish I knew. Maybe sex is possible because there is like a mouth that opens on their fins. Something the Little Mermaid never touched upon, and she had a child, too. They made a second film where she had a kid. It was unexplained.

Well, what’s your favorite sexual position?

Doggy style. Mermaid style would be like doggy, but from the side. That’s how I’ve always imagined it.

Joseph, 25

What do you do for a living?

Freelance work for a magazine and I’m an escort.

Woah, I was just about to ask you if your job ever got you laid, but I guess that’s the whole point.

Yes, exactly!

What has been your weirdest client so far?

I would say it was the man who asked me to diaper him. He shit in the diaper and then he asked me to change the diaper. It was some scat play. I got a huge bonus for that. I turned coin, so don’t worry about it.

Is this your first mermaid parade?

It is. I'm loving this.

How do you feel about sex at the beach?

Oh, I’m in favor of sex everywhere. At the beach, at the park, in your car, at the post office. Anywhere.

What about the sand situation, though?

It can be equally as bad for guys. Don’t let it fool you. You just go in the water and wash it all off. And the friction is nothing that water and lubrication won’t solve.

What’s your best date ever?

I went to the park dressed in heels. My date and I had a picnic and then we came home and had sex for about six hours. It was a little painful and relentless, but with that always come pleasure. I had been dressed up that day, but I’m actually usually not in character for sex, despite this Mermaid costume.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

That is a tricky, hard question. I absolutely do. I fall in love daily. 

But would you actually call it real love if it’s daily?

Absolutely. Love is love. It’s universal. It doesn’t have to be just one person. It’s polyamory. It’s everyone. It’s more than one.

So you aren’t in a relationship, I’m guessing?

I’m in a relationship with thousands. That’s how I look at it. 

Are you actually looking for someone special or do you see this as your lifestyle for the rest of your life?

You know what. I guess I just live day to day and if I meet Mr. or Mrs. Right then that’s fantastic. But if I don’t, I have a family that loves me, so I’m not worried. 

How do you think mermaids have sex?

The same way that I do. I’ll leave it at that.

Haha. Okay, what’s your worst hook up?

My first lover actually. It was horrible. He was Italian. He had a really horrible fat sausage dick. He just stabbed me. I felt like a ziploc bag. There was no lube. We were stupid freshmen in college. I guess I consider that losing my virginity. It’s anything that involves some kind of penetration whether it’s well…any kind of orifice. Whether you’re being face-fucked or it’s anal sex. A hole is a hole and sex is sex. It gets better once you actually know what you’re doing.