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Talking to Strangers: The Mermaid Parade
She leaned over the bar and said to us, “Oh, you guys are totally going to go home and have sex, aren’t you?” We said, “Um, this is our first date...”.
BY KATE HAKALA
What do you do for a living?
I’m actually a dental assistant.
Have you ever been laid because of your job?
No, nobody on Earth has ever said, “Let me screw a dental assistant.”
Too bad. There’s room for a lot of oral sex double entendre there. Is this your first ever Mermaid Parade?
Yes, it is. I’m a parade virgin.
How down are you with sex on the beach or on a boardwalk like Coney Island?
I’m pretty down with it, but it gets pretty sandy. The idea is better than the execution. I’ve done oral on the beach but never had full-on sex. I’d say if you’re going to have sex on the beach, you better bring blankets.
What is your favorite hook up story?
One time I went out to a bar in New York. I was sitting with this guy I had only just met that night. We started talking a little over drinks. But we had spoken a couple times that night. We ended up going downstairs in the lounge area and we had sex there. We didn’t get caught. It was worth it.
Are you into public sex, then?
I wouldn’t say I’m into it, but if the situation calls for it, then sure. It’s something that as I’ve gotten older, I’m more cautious of my environment.
Are you single now?
Yes. I think I haven’t found anyone yet because I’m ready to settle down, have children, and puppies and all of that. A lot of people actually aren’t into that here.
Do you believe in love at first sight, though?
Yes. I believe in love at first sight because I’m a believer that if you can look at someone and feel an automatic connection with them, then I think it’s possible that someone else could feel that for you. As long as you’re willing to be honest with yourself and be honest with the other person, then you can go from there. It’s a choice. True love is a choice, ironically. You choose to be with that person. You could have love at first sight with a million different people, but it’s the one person you choose to spend the rest of your life with. To accept all things about them—good, bad, or indifferent. People will spend their whole lives saying, “You know what? I have to be with this person.” There really aren’t soulmates. There are a lot of people you can be with, you just have to sort through the pros and cons of those people you have the initial connection with.
What was your worst date ever?
I had one where the bartender believed that my date and I were married. She leaned over the bar and said to us, “Oh, you guys are totally going to go home and have sex, aren’t you?” We said, “Um, this is our first date...”.
Did it put an awkward air on things? Did you actually go home and have sex with him?
No, we never did. It didn’t put an awkward air on it because we both didn’t have personalities that made it that way. I don’t really let really awkward things get to me, anyway. A situation is only awkward if you make it awkward.
I noticed everyone at the Mermaid Parade goes all out with costumes. Are costumes something you’ve brought into the bedroom before?
I have. I mean, sometimes I’m a dominatrix. So, there's a leather aspect to everything. But I don’t really have a character that I prefer. My favorite hat to put on is being me. If a person asked me to be any character, I probably would be. It doesn’t really matter. I'm game for it all.
One last question. I have to know: How does a mermaid have sex?
You know what? I think it’s sort of like how dolphins have sex. I think that’s just how they do it, minus the whole dolphin rape thing. I guess they probably just unzip their fins.