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The Craziest Place I Ever Had Sex
Over the years, we've asked many interviewees about the craziest places they ever had sex, and we've compiled our favorite answers here. Takeaway: make sure you knock before entering... anywhere.
One time the guy that I was fucking and I decided to get blackout wasted and have sex in the bathroom at one of the bars on State Street. The owners of the bar were in town at the time, and the owner's wife walked in on us. We stopped immediately, and it was really uncomfortable for all parties involved, including the bartenders. If I can quote, the wife said, "What the fuck are you two doing?"
The first time I ever had sex was in a baseball field, in left field. We were drinking in the dugout and I told her I was a good outfielder.
This guy I was seeing lived on the second floor of a two-floor apartment. He had basically a private staircase. We were coming down the stairs and he pushed me against the wall and I fucked him in the stairwell, with the door open to the street basically. Skirt, boots — it was super-hot.
On my desk. It was crazy. This job was basically at a call center in Midtown. I was the last person in the office, and the missus and I were going to go out for a night on the town. She was downstairs waiting for me, but I asked her to come up for a few minutes. I was actually on the phone with a client while we were getting it on.
On a bus coming back from a high-school field trip. It was one of those trips — I'm from upstate New York — and we used to come to the city a lot and take museum trips. That particular trip we had two buses — those big chartered buses, not school buses — and there were only five people on one bus. Everyone was asleep and we were sixteen and it was like, "Let's see what we can do." Now I think back on it and I'm like, "Jesus Christ."
A fire escape. I was at a Halloween party at my friend's house. My phone actually dropped down into a trash can in the alley below. [Nerve: "Did you get it back?"] Yeah, he walked me down there from the fourth floor. It was a huge disaster. We had to go through the trash can to find my phone. It was not pretty.
I just had sex on a plane last week.
I had sex on the Chinatown bus. Philly to New York. We had the whole back row, and it was just a very empty bus where everyone had their own seats, and everyone was five or six seats apart. The lights were off. It was fine. Nobody looked back.
I went to Kmart once, with family. I saw one of the employees there and I'm like, "Wow, she's hot." So I'm trying to get her attention. And she just would not respond. No response whatsoever. But then this elderly woman needed help. So I stopped the girl, because now I had a reason to. I pointed out the old lady who needed help. And then I was like, "I needed help too, and you'd prefer to help an old woman versus my young, handsome self." We ended up in this lounge area, we started talking and she was like, "Yeah, I'm a nympho." Then we ended up going to her car for something, and it was a car, so...
A pier. It just happened, I don't know. I'm not really sure. [Nerve: "You're just walking along a pier and bam!"] Yeah.