Love & Sex

The State of Virginia Is Obsessed with Banning Oral Sex

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A little consensual sodomy never hurt anybody.

Virginia is absolutely bonkers about sucking dick. At least, that's my take-away once I heard about their Stone Age move to tighten up state sodomy laws. The "crimes against nature" bill proposed by Senator Thomas Garrett on Wednesday looks to ban everyone from participating in bestiality and soliciting prostitutes (good things), but also, will outlaw teens from having oral sex. The law will make it a felony to, "know any male or female person by the anus or by or with the mouth," except if you're two consenting adults in the privacy of your homes. Besides the hilarity of the law's phrasing – "I know Carol from science class." "Really? I know her by the anus." – this legislation feels like a homophobic, pedantic time warp. 

This comes on the heels of Republican Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli's move to reinstate Virginia's old anti-sodomy laws last November, as he pushed to make oral and anal sex of all kinds a Class 6 felony. It's not a sickle or the bubonic plague, but that type of shit is downright medieval. The Lawrence v. Texas Supreme Court case decriminalized sodomy and same-sex activity in all but a few states way back in 2003. The legality of licking pussy conversation should be over.

Critics says the amendment might not be passed because it still discriminates against same-sex couples, which is a violation of the 14th Amendment. It also doesn't take into account that by criminalizing teen sex, they're also forcing open conversations about early sexuality and safe sex practices underground. Kids don't stop going down on one another just because it's illegal, but they do contract Chlamydia quite adeptly. Virginia's age of consent is already at an oh-my-god-I-am-so-sick-of-watching-Dazed and Confused-let's-just-bone high of 18-years-old. Let's not give the kids any more to complain about.

Image via Veer.