Love & Sex

What It’s Like for Disabled People to Have Sex

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"In my infinite drunken wisdom I assume he's joking and quip that he must be pulling my leg (not one of my finer moments)."

When it comes to the sex life of disabled individuals, we all have questions. Seeing as going up to someone in a wheelchair or with a white cane and asking them what goes on behind closed doors is not only rude, but a little weird, Redditors opened up the question to comments. "From deaf to paralyzed, share your stories!" the post began, and share they did. Here are a few stories from Redditors that may answer any of those burning questions you had.

"I am a T6 paraplegic, injured when I was in college in a car accident when I was 20. Luckily, I have some limited spotty function below the injury level (chest level), and I am able to feel and function sexually more or less. I had sex before the injury and after, the best way I can describe it is 'different.'

Not as much physical feeling or ability, but the emotional connection is still there. It's still pleasurable and enjoyable, if somewhat diminished. I had a girlfriend prior to the accident, and even though we were not dating when I was hurt, she was incredible supportive and we actually got back together after I came back to school when I was done with rehab. Sex was incredible before the accident, and she was patient and supportive after I was hurt.

It was more difficult to get and maintain erections, and it took longer to finish. Sometimes I am unable to finish. I am less 'active' in bed during sex now, but it's not like I was jumping around or doing flips in bed. Like anything else, I got used to it and never really thought of it as a handicap as the years went on. Since the accident, I had 5 or 6 different partners until I got married. None of the women seemed to have an issue in bed. They were all very nice people, and all very supportive, understanding and sexy. I'd like to think that they all had a good time as well :)

I am 46 now, and my wife and I have 4 kids. Not sure this is what you were looking for, and I have to admit I am not usually this open about these subjects, but there you have it." - Peter51267

"I slept with a deaf guy once. The noises he made… Well, it was very difficult to keep a straight face." - ScrdMnkyDst

"Last NYE I hit it off with one of my sister's friends and we find ourselves in the bedroom getting fancy, when suddenly he says that he has something he has to tell me. My mind leaps to 'Oh shit, STD or weirdly deformed dick'. Instead, he informs me that he is an above the knee amputee and has a prosthetic leg. In my infinite drunken wisdom I assume he's joking and quip that he must be pulling my leg (not one of my finer moments). It was definitely a weird experience watching a guy literally taking his leg off before you have sex with him, but I couldn't really care less as long as the sex is good, and in fact I'd say he's one of the best I've had in bed." - jellybeanlegs

"I had sex with a guy with cerebral palsy once. He could technically walk, but spent most of his time in a wheelchair since his limbs were pretty atrophied. I just really liked him.

The sex wasn't particularly remarkable. He was 25 and I was 21. He had never even kissed a girl before me. I remember our first date was actually really romantic. We were in this graffitti/mural covered alleyway when I kissed him. After he said he'd never kissed a girl and I asked him if he was nervous. He said "Not at all. I've never been more ready for anything in my life."

It took a few more dates to sleep with him. He was a virgin, but again, he wasn't very nervous. He had 25 years to think about this. Because of his disabilities I was on top pretty much the entire time, but that's okay because that's my favorite anyways. He was really excited to eat me out and I will say, for never doing it before, he was way better at it than most men who have been doing it for decades. You could tell he really really wanted to be good at it.

In any case, it didn't work out for a number of reasons, but we still stay in touch. Great guy!

Edit: I want to thank those who are giving love for this!

I also want to say I'm a little surprised at the rampant ignorance when it comes to cerebral palsy. Not everyone with cerebral palsy is mentally disabled. In fact, no one knows for certain why but many people with CP test higher than average on an IQ test. Also, there are many varying degrees of how severe your symptoms or deformities might be. Some people with CP can walk and talk just like everyone else, some use crutches, some are in wheelchairs, others have more intense symptoms including possible brain damage, but most people with CP are just as intelligent if not moreso than you or I. This guy is a history professor at an ivy league university. He was not crazy deformed. I'm not the Mother Theresa of women and it wouldn't take Mother Theresa to love this guy AT ALL. He was very intellectual, well dressed, independent, and very cute and supportive and an all-around great guy." - zetapi

"I am the disabled person in the relationship so I can only vouch for me as my boyfriend of 5 years doesn't have an account. Anyway, I have spina bifida (I don't use a wheelchair like most, but I've always worn braces my whole life) and when I met him I was a virgin so I had no idea what my body would do or how it could handle things. We would just find out together. I can't feel a lot but I have come and at times it does feel good. But a good 50% I can't feel a whole lot. I'm very thankful for that 50% though because most people with SB can't feel anything waist down. Also, I'm not sure if it's because of the SB, but I'm very flexible which my boyfriend definitely uses to his advantage." - MeNicolesta

[Reddit]

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