Let's lay back and think of England.
Open up a sex study these days, and there's a good chance that it comes from across the pond. This wealth of sex surveys from Great Britain continue to reveal that the country is more than just Kate Middleton's hair, Beckham's underwear, and Harry Potter. In fact, these British sex surveys show us a whole new side to the Great Empire — because a country's as good as its citizens' welfare (and sex habits) obviously. Here are a few things we learned from the land of tea and crumpets (or bangers and mash, if you will):
1. Loose Leaf Tea is Just as Important as Lovemaking
As if they couldn't play into the stereotype enough, an English study says that tea ranks higher than sex for women when it comes to relationship satisfaction. For men, it's sex then tea. Either way, how the English handle their loose leaf continues to be damn important to the empire.
2. Sex with a Robot Is Okay
17 percent of Britons said that they would consider having sex with a robot. This means that one in six Britons don't require the warmth of a human. Consider it keeping a stiff upper libido.
3. The Kitchen Is a Turn On
The kitchen is the heart of the home and also the place to make grilled cheese, so it's understandable why 31 percent Britons said that the kitchen was the sexiest place after the bedroom. Meanwhile, Britons probably consider the loo as the plain roommate and the living room as the wild child doing body shots at the pub.
4. Men Prefer the Lights Off
Not out of politeness, though that could be a reason too, but actually a full quarter of British men feel self-conscious over their beer bellies. In an effort to keep the mystery alive, they'd rather shag in the dark.
5. They'd Do It for Money but Not Soccer Tickets
Condom Company Durex did a survey and found that thirty percent of Brits would sleep with a stranger for a million pounds, but only 5 percent would do it for World Cup tickets. Considering the exchange rates from dollars to pounds and the airfare needed to get to Brazil for the FIFA Championship, I actually agree with this decision.
6. They Have Less Sex, but They Make It Count
Okay, that sounds like an excuse, but a 2013 study found that while the British were down in the sex department — having sex an average of 3 times a month versus 5 times in 1990 — there was an increase in oral, anal, and general experimenting.
7. They Think They're Having the Worst Sex.
Poor Wee Britain. Out of a YouGov survey looking at 13 European nations, the most unsatisfied with their sex lives hailed from the UK with 21 percent. Granted the UK encapsulates Northern Ireland as well as England, so it's not just the Britons who think they're bad at boffing.
8. Bachelorette Parties Are for Cheating
A survey revealed that 17 percent of British men believe that their fiancé will cheat on them during their bachelorette party (called hen parties in the UK). 12 percent of those blokes expect their betrothed to tell them about the infidelity, too. Those numbers seem oddly high.
9. Snoring is Seriously Destroying Sex Drives
A survey indicated that over a third of all British citizens say that snoring has, at one point, completely destroyed their sex drive. 37 percent of those poor snoring sods are forced to relocate to couch. At least they have the telly.
10. If You Can't Have Sex, a Dog Is Just as Good
A survey of 2,000 Britons found that buying a new dog is one of the best ways to help a flailing sex life, because of the way it bonds people together. Swapping doggy style for pugs? Oh, Redcoats!
Image via Getty.