Love & Sex

This Week in Sex: The “Pleasure Device” Edition

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Nearly naked baristas, illegal sex toys, and Ashton Kutcher's butt.

Scantily clad baristas banned in Washington

What’s the world coming to when a person can’t buy an Italian-style coffee drink and have it served to him by a nearly-naked young woman? For years, Nerve has brought you news of the struggles faced by topless caffeine proprietors across this great nation, but this week, we’ve reached a new low: Washington state shut down a coffee shop that simply wanted their baristas to be scantily clad! America, I hardly recognize ye.

This Week in Sex: The "Pleasure Device" Edition

Mila Kunis

Mila Kunis: “I’m a gay man in a straight woman's body.”

Now that the Black Swan fervor has faded, its stars are struggling to find ways to continue talking about their sex lives. Mila Kunis, in an attempt to remain talked-about, has come forward with one of the most annoying clichés out there. I’ll ignore the fact that it kind of worked, to say this — cut it out. As someone very wisely put it, “If a man is in your body, it means he’s straight.” Pretty much by definition.

This Week in Sex: The "Pleasure Device" Edition

See: Ashton Kutcher’s butt

Speaking of the Black Swan cast — Natalie Portman is in a new movie, No Strings Attached, a pretty run-of-the-mill rom-com in which she has a ton of sex with Ashton Kutcher. Watch the red-band trailer below, or just skip to about twenty seconds from the end so you can see Ashton Kutcher’s butt.

This Week in Sex: The "Pleasure Device" Edition

Flasher says hot sauce is reason for exposing penis

A man — arrested this week for masturbating on an airplane next to a seventeen-year old girl — has come out with one of the most ludicrous food-themed excuses since that guy claimed Twinkies made him kill Harvey Milk. The man in question told police that he spilled Tabasco sauce on his penis, and so obviously had to sit in his seat and “rub it” aggressively. Points for creativity, I guess. But you should still go to jail.

This Week in Sex: The "Pleasure Device" Edition

Alabama sex-toy drive through finds legal loophole

Under Alabama’s anti-obscenity law, it is forbidden to sell any products that aid in sexual stimulation. But, some entreprenurial masturbators have found a legal loophole: sex toys are allowed if they’re needed for  “medical, scientific, educational, legislative, judicial, or law enforcement” purposes. Leaving behind the obvious comedy in “Rabbit, The Law Enforcement Dildo,” the store has customers fill out a “medical survey” in which they claim to suffer from lack of sexual fulfillment. Everybody wins.

This Week in Sex: The "Pleasure Device" Edition

Donald Duck accused of sexual harassment

Okay, full disclosure: that headline is a little misleading. Technically, a (human) man is being taken to court for inappropriately touching a woman at Disney World, where his job is to wear a Donald costume. But still. Some days, the motto of the news seems to be “Let no childhood memory remain untarnished.”

This Week in Sex: The "Pleasure Device" Edition

Custom sex-toy site just opened

A new site, Made to Pleasure, has created a template through which you can customize the size and shape of your sex toy — to make it just the way you like it. It’s a cool idea, in concept, but not necessarily flawless. Do you actually know, to the tenth of an inch, how large you like your, uh, pleasure device? Me neither, although I will say, they’ve got the most elegant butt plugs I’ve ever seen.

This Week in Sex: The "Pleasure Device" Edition

Exotic Deals is the sexy Groupon

For every action in this world, there is an equal and opposite porn reaction. Someone very wise said that, and when he did, he was either thinking about porn parody, or “Exotic Deals” — a new site that works exactly like Groupon, but for stuff like strip clubs and sex toys. For the economical and group-minded porn-hounds among us.

This Week in Sex: The "Pleasure Device" Edition

Princeton guys run gross sex contest

People love to read about sexual misbehavior. But they really, really love to read about it when it involves the wealthy, the famous, or people who went to fancy schools. Case in point: an email chain from some Princeton grads describing their lewd and fratty “get laid as often as we can” game has been circulating the internet like wildfire. And I’ll admit, it’s at once fascinating and offensive. But not nearly as much as it would have been if they’d gone to Harvard.

This Week in Sex: The "Pleasure Device" Edition

Man arrested for breaking-and-entering, completely naked

A man in Farmington, New Mexico was arrested this week for jumping a six-foot fence and breaking into a family’s home, entirely naked. The man (a boy, really, just nineteen years old), was on LSD, and claims to have no motive for burglarizing that particular house. The kicker? On that particular night, with wind-chill, the temperature was close to twenty degrees below zero.