Love & Sex

This Week in Sex: Female-Orgasm Edition

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Michelle Williams and Katy Perry rock the boat, and Helen Mirren makes fun of your penis.

Blue Valentine

MPAA lets more Americans see Ryan Gosling go down on Michelle Williams

The MPAA is never an organization that garners a lot of respect. This week, however, it came under especially heavy fire for offering clear proof of its bizarre code of ethics: brutal violence is better than sex, and men getting off is far less terrible than women getting off. After receiving a torrent of criticism for its NC-17 rating of Blue Valentine, the organization reduced the rating to an R, in a victory for feminists, oral-sex enthusiasts, and over-zealous Dawson’s Creek fans alike.
 

This Week in Sex

Katy Perry on The Simpsons

The Simpsons shocks with Katy Perry oral-sex joke

In related news, there was an uproar this week after The Simpsons featured a cunnilingus joke. Now, granted, this one involved a real-life Katy Perry getting pretend head from a puppet. But still. Free oral sex.
 

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Country Boy

Country boys have bigger penises

A new study (granted, a Bulgarian one), found that men raised in the country have bigger penises than their city brethren — in a piece of news that sounds like it was commissioned by the union for adult-film screenwriters. Presumably they also found that firemen and police officers have well-defined abs, and most plumbers would rather have sex with you than fix your non-metaphorical pipes
 

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ExtenZe

Penis-enlargement company ExtenZe loses lawsuit over false advertising

Pills will not make your penis bigger. This seems to be one of a number of facts — like “coffee is hot” and “hot things will burn you” — that, while obviously true, are still acceptable grounds for a lawsuit. This week, ExtenZe agreed to pay a six-million-dollar settlement to a group of men (all of whom had bought the product for a small-penised “friend”). In a hilarious twist, the men were offered a choice of cash, or an equivalent value of ExtenZe products. The myth never dies.
 

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Donna D'Errico on Baywatch

Former Baywatch actress claims TSA discriminated against her for being hot

Former Baywatch cast-member Donna D’Errico was pulled out of line this week at an airport and subject to a TSA scan. And like everyone else, she complained loudly about it. As she told the media, she felt like she’d been singled out — for being hot. Isn’t it great when defending your personal liberties so neatly coincides with bragging about your breasts?
 

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Tom Ford

Tom Ford thinks you look better naked

Tom Ford wants everyone to be naked. He wants men to be naked, he wants ladies to be naked, and this week, he came out saying he even wants fat ladies to be naked. Because everyone is beautiful without clothing! And while we too love naked people, the claim is a little irritating. A major fashion designer talking about fat liberation is kind of like James Franco saying that true beauty is on the inside.
 

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German Naked Dance Party

German kids hold naked rent-protesting dance parties

In other naked news, a bunch of German kids have taken to protesting rent-levels in Berlin in a very fun-sounding way. They call and make appointments to view “over-priced” apartments, but then, instead of asking questions about the water pressure, they take off their clothes and have naked dance parties. Like so many forms of political activism, this sounds at once totally ineffectual and like something I’d love to participate in.
 

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Neurotic People

Study: Neurotic people need more sex

Another week, another bit of news from the academy of sexy sciences. This time: couples prone to the nervous, moody inclination the study terms “neurotic” feel better when they have tons of sex. You could reverse that — and just say that sex makes people happy (and happy people have sex), but then where would all that research money go?
 

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Oh! Canada

Craigslist refuses to shut down “Erotic Services” section in Canada

Craigslist has refused to shut down the “erotic services” section of its site in Canada, despite having done so in the US earlier this year. Despite the fact that prostitution is decriminalized in Canada, Canadians are apparently planning a massive boycott. If they succeed, prostitution will probably vanish from their country entirely.
 

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Helen Mirren

Helen Mirren blasts Hollywood for penis worship

Helen Mirren — starring as a lady Prospero in this week’s The Tempest — lashed out at Hollywood’s misogyny this week. She said: “Hollywood filmmaking… continues to worship at the altar of the eighteen to twenty-five-year-old male and his penis. Quite small, I always think.” I am going to assume she means the altar.