Love & Sex

We Agree, Apologizing for Having Loud Sex Is Stupid

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It's about time we stopped caring what the neighbors think.

by erin mayer

Walls are thin, orgasms are loud, and overhearing your neighbors’ sex lives is a just a fact of life that we all should learn to deal with. At least according to Maureen O’Connor, writer at The Cut. She wants you to stop apologizing for your loud sex. And—sorry neighbors—she has a good point.

Look, we’ve all been there. Sometimes you are lonely and trying to sleep in the middle of the longest dry spell you’ve ever had and the last thing you need is to hear your roommate or neighbor passionately getting it on. Maureen O’Connor sympathizes with your plight, she really does. But she thinks you should get over it, and so do I. “Because if adults can’t have noisy sex in their own homes, with the doors and windows shut, then where can noisy sex occur?”

Obviously, there is such a thing as common courtesy. O’Connor is not recommending that you behave like a brute and have constant, wall-shaking sex at all hours of the day. She just wants you to own your passion and stop worrying so much about who will hear you. The main crux of her argument is that loud sex is a moderate and harmless inconvenience for the listener, while actively trying to lower your volume can negatively affect your sex life.

“[T]o tell the noisy-sexhavers to remove an entire genre of sex from their repertoire in the privacy of their own homes due to some third party’s minor discomfort is a significant burden. And so the onus is on the overhearing-sexlistener to deal with it. You can dull the noise by turning on a radio, putting in earplugs, or making some noise of your own. You can simply ignore it for a couple minutes.”

There you have it — we can officially stop fake apologizing for our well-publicized orgasms. As for our neighbors, maybe someday they’ll learn to stop taping passive aggressive notes to our front doors in the interest of critiquing our noise level. That’s just creepy.

[h/t The Cut]

Image via Flickr