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A Twilight Dildo
By Shaun SeneviratneAug 21st, 2009 · 11:23 amComments (5)
So you've got your copies of each book and have no shame reading it in public. You've seen the movie about 30 times. A poster of lady-man Robert Pattinson adorns your wall.
You are a Twilight fan, which is incredibly lame. But your affliction for the undead and Pattinson's silky, pale skin (because really, that is why all you ladies like Twilight-- that and the fact that it's emotional porn for teenage girls) need not stop there. Now you can pretend that Pattinson is actually having sex with you.
This dildo is called The Vamp. I'll let the manufacturer do the talking on this one:
The Vamp is a realistic form dildo based appropriately on our Sire's design but with a deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon's glow. . . Don't be surprised if this toy seduces you, its long sleek shaft and deliciously ridged head calling to you in the twilight. But don't save this for just nocturnal escapades, try taking our Vamp out in the sunlight and watch him sparkle.
I love how they sprinkled keywords like "new moon" and "twilight" so it can come up in searches. Anyways, no under-sexed Twilight fan can be without it!
[$40, Tantus Direct]
[via Cinematical]
Commentarium (5 Comments)
I snorted my drink through my nose when I saw that little "I sparkle!" detail. Way too funny.
[...] Date or Run Screaming: Your Sausage,
soo... I was looking at this since I find it screwed int he head on other websites and found the following comments...
Maggie 08/30/2009
OMG! I LOVE the Twilight Series so much! This dildo is great because one minute I shut my eyes and pretend I am screwing Edward with his cold, sparkling, marble cock; then the next, I warm it up and pretend Jacob is doing me from behind [you know, DOGGY STYLE! LOLZ!!!] I have multiples because sometimes I like to pretend they are both ravishing my body at the same time. Also, I like to tie them to my cats and pretend they are were-vamp-kitties! I just wish a balls were included with the shaft, so that Edward and Jacob could take turns tea-bagging me...another good idea is to hold your hand in ice water for a bit, and then you can act like Edward is giving you a donkey punch as well!
Suzie 08/30/2009
Holy Crap! I have always dreamed about this kind of thing. I love LOVE LOVE Vampires. I dream about them biting me and I also dream about their big cold cocks inside of me. I just ordered 3 of them, and I plan to freeze them all and use them all at once. I don't even need to try this product to know that it is AWESOME!!!!!111
these are the comments
the maggie one worries me so bad
how does she still own her cats?
fucked up people eh
[...] A Twilight Dildo #SharePanel { font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; } #SharePanel h1 {font-size:11px; [...]
[...] A Twilight Dildo #SharePanel { font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; } #SharePanel h1 {font-size:11px; [...]