Love & Sex

A Twilight Dildo

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twilight04

So you’ve got your copies of each book and have no shame reading it in public. You’ve seen the movie about 30 times. A poster of lady-man Robert Pattinson adorns your wall.

You are a Twilight fan, which is incredibly lame. But your affliction for the undead and Pattinson’s silky, pale skin (because really, that is why all you ladies like Twilight— that and the fact that it’s emotional porn for teenage girls) need not stop there. Now you can pretend that Pattinson is actually having sex with you.

twilight-dildo

This dildo is called The Vamp. I’ll let the manufacturer do the talking on this one:

The Vamp is a realistic form dildo based appropriately on our Sire’s design but with a deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon’s glow. . . Don’t be surprised if this toy seduces you, its long sleek shaft and deliciously ridged head calling to you in the twilight. But don’t save this for just nocturnal escapades, try taking our Vamp out in the sunlight and watch him sparkle.

I love how they sprinkled keywords like “new moon” and “twilight” so it can come up in searches. Anyways, no under-sexed Twilight fan can be without it!

[$40, Tantus Direct]

[via Cinematical]