Love & Sex

Do Not Fry a Sausage When You Have a Boner

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Cooking diasasters happen. Things go horribly wrong. In the end you’re left with unedible food, some minor injuries, and a hilariously unfortunate story worth repeating.

Now these stories and lessons learned from cooking experiences are cataloged in The How Not to Cookbook: Lessons Learned the Hard Way by artist Aleksandra Mir.

This book is a compilation of user submitted advice, funny stories, and lessons learned from cooking. Flip through this book with your date before a meal and commiserate over your kitchen follies.

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There are also a few bits of advice regarding dating and sex in the kitchen. . .

  • “If you have invited your latest flame to dinner and you want to make them Seafood Spaghetti,
    do not forget to check each and every clam. Sand is not much of an aphrodisiac.”
  • “It may seem macho to use a hand-whisk in place of an electric whisk, but do not be tempted, especially when the recipe says to whisk for fifteen minutes. She will not be impressed and you will look like a fool.”
  • “If you want to feed your date by cooking tomatoes mixed with eggs take into account that after adding butter and oil do not also add a jar of peanut butter. She will not feel like having sex after eating this.”
  • “When cooking with your boyfriend do not forget to make it clear who is the chef in
    advance. If not you might end up fighting and lose your appetite.”
  • “Do not fry a sausage when you have a boner.”
  • “If you have been cutting chilli for a Thai Curry for your girlfriend, remember to give your
    hands a good wash before you start any bedroom athletics.”

 Duly noted.

View the PDF of the book here.

[£30, How Not to Cook]

[via NOTCOT]