What fashion trends are you embracing right now?
Well, it’s the summer and, as a failing artist, I work for a moving company. Actually, I own and operate Nice Moves Movers. That’s a plug, I admit it. Anyway. I move a lot, so my outfit doesn’t change much. I wear a guinea tee and either skinny jeans or shorts. That’s my fashion trend.
What’s a guinea tee?
[Laughs] Oh man, for all the WASPS, right? A guinea tee is a wife-beater.
What would you wear if you were going out specifically to get laid?
Honestly not anything too different. But I’ve done quite a bit of modeling work, so if I did want to get into formal wear I have a lot of Fred Perry and John Varvatos. I have a car coat, a few blazers, whatever. I don’t know, just some generally tight shit. Sex sells more than labels.
What do you like to see girls wearing?
It’s hot, you know, so I gotta say the summer dress. I really never tire of it, especially if you can see… well, let’s not get tasteless here. Growing up I liked mini-skirts and fishnets, but I’ve moved on. Girls who dress like that come with a lot of issues. The summer dress is really what I’m digging these days.
What’s some stuff you can’t stand?
Oh my god, let me tell about that. I’m living near the Bedford stop in Williamsburg and I see it all the time: the douche-stash. You know, like that ironic mustache? I’m very offended by this. I don’t care for those Civil War revival suspenders. I do not care for flannel of any kind. I don’t like Fry boots. There are just so many things that bring out angry emotional responses in me. I do not care for dunks. I do not care for…oh man, there’s just too much! On girls: those molester glasses gotta go. When I see girls in those – and there are a lot of them around here – I get a fleeting impulse to just smack ’em in the face.
Is there anything you’d find in a girl’s room that’d make you want to run?
Valtrex, you know it’s the medication they prescribe for genital herpes. Or AZT, you know. That might send me out the door. And maybe radical feminist literature because then you know you’re going to have a lot of shouting matches in the future based on things that aren’t real.