Love & Sex

Looking for a Sparkly Vampire to Share My Nights With

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I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t stand people telling me that — despite my preference for well-written contemporary literature — I will enjoy the Twilight series despite myself, and be swept away on a river of lust for forbidden love, dark secrets, and sparkly vampires. Is that really all you want, ladies?? Really?

Sigh. Fine. Here. Drink this.

blood-energy-potion

[$5.99, Urban Collector]

Blood Energy Potion is “the world’s first synthetic blood beverage.” (Gag me.) It tastes like fruit punch and contains energy boosters, iron, protein, and electrolytes. “Not only does Blood Energy Potion have a similar nutritional makeup to real blood, but it has the same color, look, and consistency of blood. Get real blood nutrients without that real blood taste!” It comes in a re-sealable transfusion pouch, for extra creepiness.

[Via Cool Material]