Love & Sex

Sweet Serenades, Massages, and Booze

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Still haven’t got the girl? You’re obviously not making much of an effort. Have you tried sweetening her up with a serenade? Rubbing her down with your patented super-massage techniques? Plying her with beer and wine and tropical beverages?

Well, then you’re not trying hard enough. Because the iPod Stereo Pool Oasis from Hammacher Schlemmer does all the work for you. It has a built-in waterproof iPod compartment and stereo speakers, perfect for serenading her all day long. It has a built-in beer can holder, so that she can remain pleasantly buzzed for hours on end. And — best of all — it includes four motors that massage the recliner’s back, thighs, and calves.

Warning: If she starts coming around more often, she may be using you for the chair time.

[$199.95, Hammacher Schlemmer]

[Via The Green Head]