My man and I recently returned from three glorious days of camping: a much-anticipated trip in no small part due to the promise of sex in nature. After all, what could be better than peace and quiet and getting it on? But once we’d hiked into the forest and prepped our little tented hideaway, it was just so damned… quiet.
Maybe it’s that we’re city people at heart and crave the background buzz that accompanies urban living. Or that we go camping about once a decade and find it equally creepy and breathtaking when we can actually see the stars. Either way, nature quiet doesn’t exactly suit us. It is, I’d venture, a bad quiet. And while we managed a good amount of tent frolicking, it was punctuated with paranoia, ala “Did you hear that? What was that?” and “Do you think if I scream too loudly the ranger will come?” and “There’s totally a bear outside and it’s watching us.”
The worst part of this is that I really like camping. It’s a sexy thing to do, being out in nature with your mate and a cooler of booze and a campfire. Which is why I’m going to write the folks at Coleman a letter of gratitude for coming up with this:
This camping mattress has two incredibly important features: 1) it automatically inflates, and 2) it has built-in speakers and a plug for an mp3 player. Take that, deafening quiet of nature! You’re no match for my Sexy Tent Time playlist.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m about to spend a whole lot more time in the great outdoors.