Love & Sex

Vulva: The Sweetest Scent of All (NSFW)

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vulva

I know it may seem as if I’m a bit vulva-crazy lately, but I can’t not share this with you. It’s just too…good.

A couple months ago, ToA reader Bree alerted me to the most awesome/horrifying product ever: VULVA. I’ve since been attempting to acquire a sample, but production of their revised product has been delayed. And so, I can only tell you what I know.

vulva-original

[$30, Vulva]

VULVA Original is an erotic scent mixed to match theĀ irresistibleĀ smell of a woman’s privates. It’s not meant to be worn as a perfume, but rather sprayed onto a man’s wrist, so he can sniff it throughout the day, thereby fueling his own naughty fantasies.

I. want this. So. bad. Just so I can put it on my own wrist, stick it in men’s faces, and ask them, “Like my perfume? What do you think it smells like?” And the website itself is well worth visiting, for two reasons:

  • the soft-core porn-like promotional video
  • the narrator’s pronunciation of “vaginal”

Now, the fabulous Bree actually knows of a man who has ordered this (and btw, Bree is one of my new favorite people). Which leads me to wonder: Men, is there really a market for this? If I presented you with a bottle for Christmas, would you flip your shit? Would the scent of my vajayjay, lingering in the air throughout the day, get you so worked up that you had to have The Sexy Time all the time? Please do let me know. In the meantime, someone send me a bottle.