Love & Sex

Idiot Professor Says Gay Marriage Will Make Straight People Have Tons of Anal Sex or Something

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It's a nonsensical argument, but even if it was true, why would it be bad?

Mark Regnerus, a professor of sociology at the University of Texas at Austin whose "bullshit" 2012 study claimed that same-sex couples are bad parents, is back with another head-scratcher of a statement. This time, in a speech at Franciscan University of Steubenville (yes, that Steubenville) discovered by Good As You, he claims that gay marriage being accepted by straight women will make their boyfriends more inclined to seek open relationships, just like how acceptance of gay sex made anal totally mainstream. I am a straight man, and I am comfortable speaking for all straight people when I say to Professor Regnerus: What? What are you talking about?

Here's the relevant clip from his speech. The whole speech can be viewed here.

Okay. First of all, I can't follow his logic. The leap from straight women recognizing the le-git-i-ma-cy of gay marriage to their husbands and boyfriends pressing for "sexual novelty" is nonsense. They're unconnected thoughts. It's just not a thing. It seems to be based on the stereotype that gay men are promiscuous, which, alright, dude relax. His study confirmed the ancient, dusty, boring stereotype that men are hornier than women, which is where the insinuation that it would be the man who brings up the concept of an open relationship comes from. It's also where the assumption that women are inherently opposed to open relationships comes from, because women are "sexual gatekeepers." It's unimaginable that it would ever be a woman's idea, or something a couple would agree to as a couple. 

To assert that straight people have anal sex because that's what gay men do is fully bananas. Straight people do not care about gay sex like that. Where did he even get that idea from? Straight men in the midst of coitus do not think about gay men having sex. When I am having sex, I am thinking about myself having sex. Or baseball. I don't care about what hypothetical gay men are doing. Anal sex, in that moment, is a thing that happens, not a gay thing. And I've never ever heard of a woman saying, "Let me do you in the ass, because that's what gay men do." Again, butt play happens because it's fun, not because it's what gay men do. He's unclear about which scenario he's talking about. I hope he's talking about women pegging men.

But moreover, who cares? It's not an eloquent argument, but it's the central argument against the Mark Regneruses of the world. What do other people having open relationships or anal sex have to do with Mark Regnerus at all? I do not share consciousness with Mark Regnerus, nor with Dan Savage, Regnerus' bete noir. I do not think of either of them while I'm having sex.

But if straight people are engaging in more butt stuff, wouldn't that be a wonderful thing. Go away, Mark Regnerus. Go back under the bridge you came from, you ridiculous troll. America doesn't need you, and neither does my butt.

[h/t HuffPo Gay Voices]

Image via Mark Regnerus

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