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Six Public Sex Triumphs and Tragedies
Nerve readers share their best stories from when they were told to get a room, and didn't.
by Nerve Readers
Whether you're an exhibitionist or just impatient, public sex always makes for a good story. So we asked our readers to contribute their best, six of which you can find below. Stay tuned for part two!
My boyfriend and I were vacationing at his parents' lake house in Maine. I've always been attracted to the bearded lumberjack look, which my boyfriend was fulfilling in every way. We were in the perfect setting to match his appearance and the fresh air was making me frisky, so I suggested we "take a walk around the lake." This, of course, escalated into us getting sexy on a nearby patch of grass.
But halfway into my lumberjack fantasy, I saw my boyfriend's eyes wander and freeze on something several feet behind me. I arched my back in order to see what was so damn distracting, and my upside-down gaze met that of a rather large moose emerging from the lake. It took me a good ten seconds to realize that the enormous mammal was staring not because it was a voyeur, but because it was dead. A good few weeks dead.
Deciding that the moment was definitely ruined, my boyfriend and I got dressed and clambered over to get a better look at what was left of this moose. The head that was tilted oh-so observantly towards us was, by far, the most intact part of it. I saw bones as big as baseball bats sticking out of this thing.
A few weeks later, my boyfriend gave me a small, heart-shaped rock which he had polished and painted for me. I thought this was incredibly sweet until he told me it wasn't a rock. It was a piece of bone that he discreetly swiped from the dead moose because it made him "think of me."
We were on holiday in Kerala, India. We'd spent a few days hanging out with our local friend, but he was leaving us on our own for Christmas. We'd been staying in his family house and, what with all the cousins and kids underfoot, hadn't gotten a chance to get busy.
As soon as he left us at our hotel, we tore into each other. Our room had a bay window with a low seat, which proved to be the perfect height to bend her over onto. Unfortunately, during the fray, we failed to notice that A) the window was open and B) the curtains had fallen off. As soon as the dust had settled, we looked down to see a massive crowd gathered in the street below us, complete with cop car.
Cue a knock at the door. I answered the door to find a young hotel staffer. Embarrassment, shame and hilarity were fighting a three-way cage match on his face, but he managed to politely inform us that we need to move. They put us in the very back of the hotel — as far from windows as possible — but not before sending up a complimentary bottle of local beer.
My cousin was getting married in Lake Zurich and everyone was dressed to the nines. My then-fuck buddy agreed to accompany me and pretend to be my beau. After all of the shmoozing and carousing, we meandered off to explore. I was wearing a bright red dress and silver hooker heels. He looked at me and said, "Lose the panties," then proceeded to fuck me against the wall. From where we were standing, I could see my family on the dance floor, doing the Electric Slide and drinking cheap white wine. Ten minutes later, he came on my dress. I pretended that it was frosting from the wedding cake.