Most of the internet dates I went on didn't lead to anything, but there was one that I really hoped would. From the first moment of this date I was charmed. We stayed out late into the night drinking, playing darts, and getting to know each other, and our chemistry and inebriation brought us past the normal first-date boundaries and into her bed. I figured there was no way this would be our only date. But in the middle of the act, she must've felt self-conscious for a moment, because she asked me, "What do you like about me?"

It was my chance to tell her how great a night it had been. How welcome and warm she'd made me feel right off the bat, and how badly I hoped we'd hang out again soon. But I didn't. My drunken brain went somewhere else. I thought I was being funny and that she'd know I was parodying a less sensitive man than myself. So I said, "Your boobs." Silence followed. It was exactly what she didn't want to hear; she rolled over and put her face in her pillow. I didn't know if she was awake or asleep. I lay beside her for what felt like a wordless eternity before asking if she wanted me to stay. She shrugged. I left. After the third or fourth unreturned phone call a few days later I began replaying the end of the evening in my head and understanding where I'd gone wrong. Over five years later, I still think back to that night and wonder how different my life might be today if I'd answered one question differently. — Paul

Practically a mail-order one-night stand. A friend of mine from Denver asked if I would show his new Australian friend around NYC. Being the kind Midwesterner that I am, I said I would. Boy, am I glad I did! This man was beautiful, and the accent didn't hurt either. His time in New York was spent mostly in Queens and not very far outside of my bedroom. Wait, does a one-night stand have to be just one night? Because sex was amazing enough to repeat on nights two through six before shipping him back down under. — Raydene

New Year's Eve, Mexico, two-for-one margarita specials at every bar. I was nineteen. I saw him and I knew I wanted him to be my New Year's kiss; the kiss turned into jacuzzi sex in a stranger's hotel room. The following morning I invited him to drive farther down the coast with us for lobster. Then I ran to my friends and insisted we leave fifteen minutes earlier than I'd told him to meet us. I never wanted to see him again, even though it was good sex and he was a sweet guy. It was my first one-night stand. A couple months later I got my disposable camera developed, and there he was. It was all the evidence I needed. — Chloe

I was in the lone gay bar in my Midwestern college town, drinking with friends and waiting for something interesting to happen. Eventually I noticed a guy who was looking at me a little too deliberately, and I sensed an opportunity. We start talking and drinking and laughing until he paused and asked me, out of nowhere, "Do you want to come back to my place and watch Whitney Houston videos?" I agreed immediately. We watched Whitney's greatest hits, and the sex that followed was fine, but that remains the single best pickup line I've ever heard. — Paul

A few years ago I ran into a friend/employee of my ex-boyfriend, whom I'd dated long-term and lived with. This friend and I were both very drunk. He lived out of state, and was in the middle of touring with my ex's band. The rest of the band had crossed over into Canada, where he was not allowed thanks to a DUI. Toward the end of the night, I agreed to go back to the place he was staying, and we wound up having sex on the couch. I fell asleep. When I woke up, I looked at the pattern on the couch. Incredibly familiar. I rolled over and recognized the table, the TV, the glasses on the counter — I was in my ex-boyfriend's new place. The shock must have been obvious, because the guy was like, "Hope that's not too weird for you." After fighting the urge to steal back my wine glasses, I drove the guy to the alcohol-awareness meeting he was court-ordered to attend. Class. — Jenny

I had just returned earlier in the day from a lackluster visit to a long-distance boyfriend in Vegas. I was at a gathering of friends who introduced a tall, handsome man visiting from out of town. After a quantity of liquor that would have brought down Andre the Giant, Tall-and-Handsome and I somehow made our way up the ladder to my loft bed. Drawing from a script reminiscent of a bad Cinemax soft-core, he was over-enthusiastic and I underwhelmed. The best part is, a handful of years later, I repeated the situation almost exactly — with the guy's brother. — Sarah

We had been having sex for a couple minutes when I looked down and discovered that he was playing with his broken iPhone. With this revelation, I dismounted, ignored his pleading, and passed out. — Jen

Submit to our next round-up: People I Never Intended to Sleep With. Everyone should dream big. We want to hear your stories about people who you didn't mean to give the time of day, who somehow managed to charm their way into your heart/bed. Send us all the hilarious specifics in 300-500 words to submissions@nerve.com or click for more details.