Great Danes

After college, I was invited by an old friend to her wedding in India. In the grand tradition of over-the-top Indian weddings, all I had to do was fly there. After that, we’d be put up in a lavish hotel, practically the Taj Mahal, and wined and dined for three days straight. Or something like that.

She was white, surprisingly, and a contortionist.

It was a palatial hotel, but also incredibly damp with leaky roofs and no cooling system. And, in the flurry of aunties and random relatives, I actually turned out to know nearly no one. Few of our college friends had actually bothered to come, and the whole thing was so huge, and diffuse, and cellphone-less that it was very hard to meet-up. Plus, we were more or less isolated — the hotel was a compound unto itself, with a rather long and bumpy taxi ride to the nearest city.

So, in the evening of the first night we were there, after a gigantic dinner in a tent, I started wandering, around the grounds of the resort. After a couple big loops around the property, I stumbled on the strangest sight. A group of carnies, clumped around tents and equipment, camped out under a little hill. It looked like a scene in a movie — shirtless men juggling, women with parrots on their shoulders. I stood, gaping, for a while, before a young woman motioned me over.

She was white, oddly, Danish, and some sort of contortionist. They were a troupe of entertainers, she said, who had booked the resort for the summer, performed for guests each evening, and camped out in the back. How she, a young Danish girl, ended up with them, was unclear. What was clear was that I’d stumbled on something much more interesting than another bridal party. I spent the rest of the afternoon loafing about and watching my new friends practice their trade. When the sun set, I crawled into a tent with my new friend. Contortionist indeed.

The next morning, I stumbled back up to the wedding party. I only saw her one more time, at the final wedding blowout three days later. She was with her troupe, performing; I was drunk with some Americans wearing a suit. I waved, but I don’t know if she saw me. — Devin

Commentarium (20 Comments)

May 16 11 - 6:31am
KT

Action Man sounds so trustworthy.

May 16 11 - 7:27am
dev

The Cambodian moto story is amazing. So similar to something that happened to me traveling there. Makes me miss it

May 16 11 - 7:27am
Kyle

Dope, love this.

May 16 11 - 7:42am
odd

that's funny. odd is really a norwegian name. the 8th most popular, actually. how.... weird

May 16 11 - 9:09am
MS

I laughed out loud at this: "There were fireworks — I mean literally, there just happened to be fireworks as a part of the closing ceremony of the festival."

May 16 11 - 9:39am
mads

you know that last story was a really terrible retelling of Before Sunrise, right?

May 16 11 - 10:31am
BenReininga

Thanks guys. We swapped that story out for another awesome submission, asked the author what's up, and dutifully added "Before Sunrise" to our Netflix queues...

May 16 11 - 1:44pm
BrosephofArimathea

Follow it up with Before Sunset

May 16 11 - 2:07pm
S

The last story sounds like the someone being simultaneously Worst Bridesmaid and Worst American Tourist ever...

May 17 11 - 5:09am
klark

immediately after I read that story I said "Jessica.. what a hoochie"

May 16 11 - 2:08pm
megliz00

this was kinda cute "he had to do things like tell the concierge to write a note asking me if I wanted him to shave and instructions to circle either 'yes' or 'no.'" but come on, who hooks up with a moto driver in cambodia? how sketchy

May 16 11 - 3:07pm
AB

I just want to say I met my Italian girlfriend/soon-to-be-fiancée on a remote island in Thailand. That is all.

May 16 11 - 3:20pm
Bee

I had a one-night-stand with this sexy French guy on my 21st birthday in Shanghai. He asked me if I wanted to go to his hotel room and "have a rest." We didn't get much rest.

May 17 11 - 7:52pm
CeCe

Is Devin a boy or a girl? Not that it matters, of course. Just wondering.

May 17 11 - 10:21pm
m

why are american girls always SUPER proud of themselves whenever they hook up with a french or otherwise foreign guy ?

May 18 11 - 4:46pm
girlJ

Replace "american girls" with "people" and "guy" with "person" and your question will be more on point.

May 18 11 - 12:32am
nyna

sounds like being a bridesmaid paid off - great story

May 21 11 - 5:42pm
Critbo!

The last story had a goddamn good friend.

Jul 23 11 - 10:58am
Kairii

I saerhecd a bunch of sites and this was the best.

Aug 29 11 - 11:08pm
Philinda

Yeah that's what I'm tklaing about baby--nice work!