The One Who Got Away

I was working on a humdrum account in an advertising agency that exposed me to plenty of personality types within different departments. Early on, I fancied a taciturn, platinum-blonde Midwesterner, but nothing much seemed to be happening between us. On the other hand, she was great pals with her cube-mate, Mary. She was constantly telling me that Mary was such great chick (and I'll admit, she looked great too). But, I wasn't sure I was feeling it — for one, I was almost a decade older than her twenty-three years. 

But when a bunch of us went to a club to watch a live band, equal parts beer and footsie escalated, and I invited her to my humble abode to smoke a jay. I quickly learned that Mary was a responsible every-day smoker who knew how to use what God gave her. While initially not my physical type, she was absolutely beautiful.

We fucked all the time. I would like to say that we’d steal away from work to get it on, but we were in different departments in different accounts, so it was hard to schedule. But she was game every other time, though she did like to enhance the experience with weed. I don’t think that anyone in the office knew, but I’m sure someone must have suspected —or been told. I don't have too much faith in the discretion of twenty-three-year old women.

But, dolt that I am, I had to end it. I actually had a girlfriend at the time. She was in the U.K. for three months, and we kept an open relationship. Mary knew I was being casual, but she had fallen for me. I liked her tons, but I had an obligation to my other casual relationship (which, of course, didn’t last much longer). After I told her, I wanted us to have a "final night," but she shot me down. 

That’s where Herma came into the picture. She was a new hire in a cube only ten paces away from Mary. She was, uh, full-chested and a slightly bratty disposition, which was the perfect foil for my repartee full of retorts. I had initially resisted taking an interest in her because, after all, I was a professional, but it didn't last long. We were only together twice, but it was the most primal sex I've ever had — like a National Geographic special. Mary never found out about us.

Now that it’s been a few years, Herma just got married, and Mary is older, wiser, and still sexy. We manage to have a drink once or twice a year, and each time I’m reminded that she’s the one who got away. — Diego

Submit to our next round-up. 15 Stories: Biggest Courtship Blunders. Remember that time, when you were certain you had it made with the man or woman of your dreams? And then you ruined everything with one ill-timed quip, spilled drink, or sneeze? Tell us about it 75-100 words, on our Facebook page or to submissions@nerve.com