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Five Stories: Out of My League
Nerve readers boast shamelessly about their romantic conquests.
By Nerve Readers
The Greatest Sentence I've Ever Heard
I had just moved to Munich from a conservative "date before doing it" Canadian city, where I usually ended up with average-looking girls, and in relationships that seemed to be sexually average at best. Like everyone else that comes to Europe from North America, I had these great delusions that this was a place where people fucked in lieu of shaking hands. I quickly learned the locals don't give a shit about your accent — and that not speaking German is a huge obstacle, when you’re trying to seduce confident German women. After coming to these conclusions I started going to meet-ups for English speaking expats where I would get completely drunk to help take the edge off the awkwardness of a bar full of strangers trying to befriend one another.
And that’s where I met Lea. She was bordering on the edge of short, with long blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, an amazing body, sexy Aussie accent, and an attitude of completely not giving a fuck. In other words, she was the definition of "out of my league."
A mutual friend introduced us and we became a tripod: her, myself, and the mutual friend. The three of us took trips all throughout Bavaria and Austria, and always found ourselves as the last people at the bar. I quickly discarded thoughts of ever even trying to get into Lea's pants — she could have whoever she wanted and it probably wasn't me, so I just played the role of a friend as best I could.
One night, as our team of three was out drinking itself stupid again, she mentioned she had missed her last train out of town. She lived in a little village north of Munich, and you needed to take regional trains to get there. Being a good friend, I offered the extra futon in my place not too far away. We got back home and I started finding linens and such for her futon.
As I was tossing down pillows I said, "All right, here you go. Your bed’s ready."
From behind me, I heard the most remarkable words ever said to me: "You're fucking kidding, right mate?" I turned around to see her leaning on the door framed with no clothes to hide her perfectly sculpted body.
I've never had sex like that. It was like a marathon of pleasure. In the morning she thanked me for more consecutive orgasms than any other man had given her and left. After she had moved back to Australia a few weeks later, our mutual friend mentioned that she hadn't missed that train but was hoping I would take her home — she had wanted me for a while and thought she might push her luck. She had always thought I was "out of her league." — Dane Samson