Five Stories: Same-Sex Experimentation

What else is college for?

By Nerve Readers 

Four of us sit on Leni's black-velvet blanket — Leni; Leni's wannabe-girlfriend, Val; Leni's gay friend with the eyeliner, Tim; and me — watching Kentucky Fried Movie. It's so obscene we may as well be watching porn. Val says, "Wanna put on porn?" Tim glowers as Leni changes the tape. My head feels like a microwave inside which my brain is slowly melting. On screen, people grunt and writhe, and Val slides her hand down Leni's pants. We all pretend this is normal.

Normal in Miami is eighty degrees outside at Christmas. The trees here are decorated with real fruit. I've never been so disoriented.

Ever since I met Leni at Jewish summer camp, where I fit in and she was way too cool, I've been half-obsessed, half-terrified; I wish she were a boy so that my feelings would make sense. I'm fifteen and humid with lust and yet I wear my brother's huge t-shirts to obscure my boobs, which burst out of my chest one day like guests who take over a party and won't leave. Leni's boobs are just small enough that she doesn't have to wear a bra, i.e., perfect, as I note ruefully when she lifts her shirt to show me her nipple piercings.

The night I arrive I am equally shocked to find a step-dad (no one I know has one) and handcuffs on her bedpost (um, ditto). We watch Romy and Michele, Leni on her bed, me awkward on a chair. She zonks out before the credits. Were she a friend from my real life up north, I'd crawl next to her. Instead, I curl up at the foot of her bed, on top of the black-velvet blanket, like a dog. In the morning she laughs at me. Then she puts a hand on my hip and it's my turn to laugh. All week, it's like that. She touches me, testing, and I go, "Ha ha ha!" She's patient. But the reflex persists.

I am equally shocked to find a step-dad (no one I know has one) and handcuffs on her bedpost (um, ditto).

The night she invites over Tim and Val, I realize I'm being punished, and that I probably deserve it. After they leave, she's quiet. She plays me Ani DiFranco songs on her guitar. The next night, New Year's Eve, we get drunk on malt liquor and take the black-velvet blanket to the roof of her shed. The hot, muggy night is like an oil spill. Finally she kisses me. Then she pulls back and looks me straight in the eye. For once I don't laugh. Later she sits in the darkness playing more Ani and I shiver on the bathroom tile. I keep thinking, and want to say, "I'm sorry," but I don't. I don't have to. She knows.


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Commentarium (18 Comments)

Oct 19 11 - 12:40am

I thought this series would be kind of off-putting and irritating. I was very, very wrong. The last one reads like a great Tao Lin short, and this line: "We let out mutual groans of pleasure, and both moaned out "wow" and "nice" when we came," was hilarious.

Oct 19 11 - 3:40am

I liked these.

Oct 19 11 - 8:03am

Ray is ridiculous.. Kissing a man is the worst revenge I've ever heard of.. And he really doesn't even sound that nice!

Oct 19 11 - 9:27am

Or maybe he's so nice that he doesn't realise that his ex will find it hilarious that he kissed a man after she dumped him.. In which case, I really feel for him!

Oct 19 11 - 7:37pm

He's a very good example of a douchebag that loudly proclaims himself to be the nice guy, because he wants the attention that he's going to get if he does so. What a loser.

Oct 19 11 - 12:59pm
Rutherford B. Hayes

I found this very sweet all around.

Oct 19 11 - 1:30pm

The picture for number three gave me an erection

Oct 19 11 - 3:30pm

the fourth one is suuuuuuper hot

Oct 19 11 - 3:49pm

lol just kidding i meant the third one!! but the fourth is alright. 3rd gets my vote tho

Oct 19 11 - 7:50pm

"making her come made me feel like a superhero" I love that

Oct 20 11 - 11:15pm

I'm whacking it over #3.

Oct 25 11 - 4:06pm

i loved these! they were so nicely written and full of sentiment.

Oct 25 11 - 11:23pm
in bed

i am left with questions after #5. they REALLY never spoke of it again? so then did the penis emot-penis stop as well? the sexting? i want some answers, dammit!

Nov 21 11 - 12:04am

Right on-this helped me sort tighns right out.

Nov 21 11 - 2:24pm

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