I am and have always been labeled "nice." Phrases like "he would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it" have followed me from a very young age. So when I found out my girlfriend of two years was cheating on me with a woman we both worked with, I wanted to get back at her, but I had very little experience with revenge.

The pet store we both worked at had a few gay men and one predatory lesbian who hooked up with every girl in the store one way or another. With vengeance in my blood, I set my eyes on Mike. He was always very talkative, and for a man, somehow curvy. I don't know why I picked him — maybe it was the way he carried those heavy bags of dog food over his shoulder, or his habit of touching my arm any time we talked — but Mike was going to be my first and last revenge hook up.

It was Friday night and we both were working an overnight shift unloading boxes. The night shift was usually a lot of fun — we played whatever music we wanted to through the store's PA system, and the one manager who worked nights couldn't have cared less what people did as long as the store was stocked in the morning. After two or three nervous hours of glancing at Mike between unloading boxes, I asked him "How did you know you were gay?"

Shock lit up his face, then a devilish smile. "I just knew from a young age. Why?"

As sweat dripped on my face, I said, "I think I might be gay. Could I kiss you? I don't want to offend you or anything."

Touching me on the arm as usual, Mike said, "Meet me in the break room in five minutes." Then he walked away with his curvy hips swaying.

I walked back to the cluttered break room. The lights had been turned off but the soda machine was glowing. When I walked in, Mike grabbed me by the waist and stuck his tongue down my throat. It felt incredible for a few seconds, then his facial hair scratched me and the smell of sweating man filled my nose. Being "nice," I hesitated to shove him off. Just as he went to his knees, the manager walked in, flicking the lights on. We ducked behind a table. The manager laughed and said, "When you two are done playing hide and seek, we've got some more boxes to take care of." Needless to say, I now only date women with no curves whatsoever.

— Ray

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