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May 7, 2009
Race Depriest is ready to meet the girl of his dreams. The "meeting" part, at least, should be no problem because Race is literally a professional — a social-dynamics coach for the Manhattan-based dating-instruction company The Art of Charm and co-author of the e-book Window Shopping for Women: How To Meet Women From Myspace, Facebook, and More.
"I'm really not a pick-up artist," he tells me, reminding me of college frat boys who would claim, "I'm not, like, your typical frat boy." But I can't help thinking that Race is sincere. It helps that he has a baby face, bright green eyes and hair that screams Abercrombie and Fitch. Last week, our mutual acquaintance, another not-a-pick-up-artist pick-up artist, told me that Race, despite his prowess with women, is ready to settle down. Of course, I was intrigued. Why would a professional seducer want the same banal thing that everyone eventually wants, when he could just as easily avert what pick-up artists call "one-itis"?
I was determined to find out.
I meet Race for beers at an East Village laundromat-turned-bar called Drop-Off Service. He sits to my right in a semicircle booth. We're with some of his friends and two mysterious, beautiful women who gaze at Race like he's a lava lamp and they've taken too many bong hits.
If you spend time with Race and his crew (most of whom are affiliated with The Art of Charm), you get the sense they know something you don't, as if you're hanging out with magicians and the second you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, they will draw their heads together and say, "She really believed I plucked that quarter from her ear!" But you also suspect that the second you leave, they'll forget you exist, that your absence will make no impression at all.
Race's agenda didn't always include plans to settle down.
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Two mysterious, beautiful women gaze at Race like he's a lava lamp and they've taken too many bong hits.
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Before moving to New York, he lived in New Mexico, New Zealand, Las Vegas, Madrid, Alabama, and California. He worked as a numerologist's personal assistant, as a youth leader in Oahu, and as a birthday-party Spiderman in Albuquerque. He has traveled to eleven countries and slept with beautiful women all over the world. Only now, at twenty-seven, is he hoping to find a woman "to build memories with."
He tells me, "This is a fantasy, but how great would it be if a girl just decided she wanted me and would do whatever it took to get me? Not because she's needy, but because she sees something in me that she has to have."
I consider this, remembering a guy who pursued me for months before I gave him my number, at which point, he held the slip of paper aloft like a trophy and said, "I worked hard for this!" It was a touching, primal sight, like wild animals having sex. But the memory, and my concurrent understanding of male desire, clash with Race's fantasy.
"Don't you want a challenge?"
Race takes a sip of his beer. "Of course," he says. "But she would know what to do. She would not only meet my resistance, but throw resistance right back. All this stuff. . . it's like fencing. But it's not a fight. That's negative."
It's clear within three seconds of meeting Race, who gives the right kind of hugs (tight, two arms, no patting) that he rejects all things negative. The way he sees it, there's a lot to be excited about, all the time, and obstacles are a matter of perspective. Well, of course they are — if you're a gorgeous, fit, socially skilled straight man who can make yourself attractive to every woman on the planet.
Like many people, I became intrigued by the "seduction community" after reading The Game, Neil Strauss' 2005 account of spending two years among the world's greatest pick-up artists. Since reading The Game, I can't say I haven't scoured the online-seduction forums a few times. I can't say I didn't once succumb to a man who used NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) on me. I can't say I don't have an enormous celebrity crush on Neil Strauss, who ends The Game like a fairytale: fed up with abundant, meaningless sex, he settles down with a gorgeous rock star, and (at least in the book) decides he wants no one but her.
Within the seduction community, a lot of men seem to be following Strauss' lead: A long-term girlfriend (hot, of course) is, for many, the ultimate prize. Curiously, though, among the Art of Charm coaches, only a couple have serious girlfriends, and Race has been unattached for several years.
"So if you find her," I say, "then what? Monogamy?"
"Well," Race says. "I'm a man. I have an innate desire for variety. But I would never cheat. She would have to be comfortable with bringing other women into the relationship for sex. It would be something we would do together."
Commentarium (47 Comments)
Well written and interesting. Thank you!
I agree, this was such a thoughtful, interesting piece.
This is such total utter bullshit! These guys are sad. It's also sad that they prey on women's self esteem. Can't anyone else see this?
It's stuff like this that makes me glad I'm in my 30s, single, and so over the bullshit from preening East Village, etc. people who think they're all that.
Plus, one thing the article fails to mention: it's the women too - you can't have one without the other as they have created each other's persona.
This is a really interesting piece--it's given me a lot to think about.
It's interesting to me when I read comments like 'these guys are so sad'. I wonder of the person judging them has ever had to confront oneself in the face of fear or rejection from the opposite sex. The 'Pick Up Artist' who is the subject of this article is basically teaching men how to have self-confidence and overcome their fears and insecurities. What the hell is wrong with that? Stop being so judgemental. I wish I had learned this stuff when I was a young man. Now I am a middle-aged man and I am alone. That can be the end result of not learning self-confidence when one is young.
I'm someone who (I guess you could say) used to be a "pickup artist." I didn't think of myself as such, I just met and slept with alot of great women. Then I met my fiancee, decided I wanted to stop seeing other girls, and now here we are a couple of years later, and we'll be getting married in August.
Sometimes she'll get a little jealous or insecure if there is a woman who checks me out or something, but I tell her (and it is the truth) that "look - I've slept with lots of interesting, beautiful girls. So I know for a fact that my life isn't going to get much better if I go sleep with one more. And in fact, what I would lose, by damaging our relationship, is WAY more valuable to me than the small benefit I would gain by fucking a stranger."
OK, in reality, there might be a "better girl" out there somewhere, with whom I would be even more compatible. But what I have with my fiancee is damn good, and the marginal gain I *might* get if I were to find that "better girl" is just not worth the cost.
It's like someone offering you a choice "I'll give you ten million dollars... you can either keep it, or give it back to me for a chance to win 10.1 million dollars."
I'm taking the ten million.
Oh and to rgk: it is never too late to learn self-confidence. The article talks about how the Charm guys get men to confront their inner insecurities. This is how it happened for me, as well. I was 27 and unhappy with myself, and so I decided to do something about it. Most of us have some secret rationalization for why we "just can't" do what we want or be who we want to be. But it's just a BS safety mechanism we fall back on because it is easier than sticking our neck out. You have now decided that you are middle-aged and that time has passed you by. It's a cop-out. Don't waste another day - go learn self-confidence. It will be hard, but you'll be glad you did it. Become the man you always wanted to be.
This is fantastic. Does The Art of Charm only teach programs in NYC?
Oh no! These guys aren't "sad" at all, nor do they prey on women's self esteem. I met these guys and the one thing I can say for ALL of them is that they LOVE women! Not just "love to have sex with women," but really truly LOVE us. I've hung out with some of them separately, some together, with and without various ladyfriends, and I've never met a more positive, life-affirming group of guys. It was almost more fun watching the other women vie for their attention than it was receiving it! Almost... No, no, doubters - they're the real deal.
Great article! I like the end, despite the writer's doubts. Good stuff all around. I found The Art of Charm through Pickup Podcast (www.bit.ly/pickup-toolbox ) and still highly recommend it! Jordan and AJ's views on life and girls are so naturally attractive that I wanted to learn from them.
This is ridiculous! This "pick up artist" is nothing but a boy trying to pose as a man! Guys like this end up alone..because they need the validation they get from bed hopping! One woman will never be enough for him...he's too insecure.B
See, people like Race annoy me. There's no way at all he's as confident as he acts. He uses all of those lines to make people *think* he's amazing, but really, he probably lacks some confidence...especially if he feels most comfortable with women who are easy to manipulate.
It takes a REAL man to take REAL responsibility for a relationship.
Men like this are revolting. And even worse: boring.
The problem with that guy (and assumingly his friends) is that he appears to not view women as 'people.' He'll never have the kind of deep relationship he wants unless he can learn to see a woman as a real person and not just something he can read and manipulate at will.
You always want what you don't/can't have.
nice work, Diana. I look forward to more of your writing.
Thanks,
Gabriel
Race gets it. Smart man.
"Honey, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you! Oh, and you wouldn't mind if I brought home a fresh piece of meat to share every now and then, right?" Yeah, I can see a lot of women going for that....
Hi Diane, Interesting read
Race is a self-absorbed dick. I don't need worldly advice from some 27-year old, been-around-the-world punk who thinks he's got his game down...the Universe plays games with people like him. Arrogance is not a turn-on.
Race DePriest is a sorry excuse for a man. He spends his days concocting ways to use people for his own benefit, all the while reassuring himself that what he is doing is not only acceptable -- but noble. It's OK for him to be polyamorous, just as long as his multiple partners don't do the same. It's complete hypocrisy. Race lives his life as if he's the star in a Matthew McConaughey movie, only in this film, the dick doesn't "get it" in the end. Someday when Race is about 60, when his cocky demeanor is no longer "cute," he will be nothing but a lonely creep. This guy says he's looking for true love -- that's bull shit and he knows it. He's just looking for the next good time. Lame.
Good gosh, the article was to outdone only by the feedback!
What fearful lives some people lead. The only way they know how to respond is to lash out, judge, and demonize whoever does not fit into their world view. The fact of the matter is, the current dating paradigm is unhealthy and outmoded.
The "sad" and "pathetic" men who take these classes and pursue the women they actually want are more noble, brave, and courageous then any of the terrified masses who condemn them out of sheer fearful ignorance. They are actually doing something to improve their lives and change the situations they do not like. That takes way more guts than firing disapproving and judgemental comments at them over the internet.
They're out there actually challenging themselves and improving their lives. What the f*ck have you done lately?
Any man who makes the choice to better himself and his life for a purpose is a man to be respected. "Pick-up" is not about manipulation, it's not about "getting laid" and it's certainly not about self-validation. It's about being the best man you can be, becoming someone who naturally attracts amazing women into your life. Race and the AoC have committed themselves to doing so and are helping others along the same path....are they not to be commended? I myself, made the transformation from AFC (Average, Frustrated, Chump) to become a man of confidence, value, and success. Before I made the necessarily changes in my life, attitude, and personality, I never dated the women I knew deep down I actually deserved. I didn't learn my skills through the Art of Charm, but I respect and admire their beliefs.
I thought this piece was going to suck at the beginning when it slammed you into a brick wall of douchebaggery, but I was impressed at the end by how it was handled overall. She manages to make these super confident in-control guys look kind of sad, and honestly, they are. It's one thing to improve yourself and take achieving things you really want, but it's another to basically make it your life's work. Knowing everything, reading everything, is not all it's cracked up to be. Life loses meaning without a sense of mystery and naivete. Sure, putting yourself out there in a situation where you can be rejected or betrayed makes you vulnerable, but it also teaches things about yourself and helps you develop values. Those guys are pretty young; they're living in a plastic world of beautiful girls and manic dating. Though that's fun and all, it's no certain road towards love. Love is work, not fulfilling every desire you have whenever you have it. I wish them good luck on finding their way out of the labyrinth of narcissism.
Quoting:
"But simultaneously, I'm starting to think there's a down side to cracking the mystery of social dynamics, to reading body language as easily as other people read the word "EXIT," glowing red in the dark of a public building. You watch someone talk and know when she's lying; you watch someone move and know what she's thinking. If you have a Rosetta Stone for every interaction, you can never again think, This is magical, or, I'm falling so hard, or, Only you can make me feel this way. And without those sensations, without the willingness to relinquish control, without the belief (no matter how juvenile) that chemistry is partly magic, how can you ever fall in love? How can you lose yourself in a moment?"
Seriously, this isn't an issue. The true magic is you can "know" everything about all this stuff, but the "knowing" doesn't reduce the pleasure. It enhances it. Really.
Read Zig Ziglar to get an appreciation from an astounding salesman... who *loved* to be sold! Yep. A man who knew as much about selling as any man alive, and who throughly appreciated being sold.
Lucky for me I have witnessed Race out and about in New York City on many occasions and can 100% say that he DOES NOT get any girl he wants. This kid think he is a playboy but he is sadly mistaken. This article is gross and weird and if this is what the Art of Charm teaches guys then their business should really be shut down. If I were Race's parents I would be disgusted by the son they raised. Race is a loser who thinks hes hot shit in the city but hangs out with club promoters! He's a joke.
BEWARE OF RACE AND HIS REVOLTING FRIENDS AROUND NYC. THEY ARE ALL LIKE 50 AND GO TO YOUNG LAME BARS ITS HILARIOUS. TOTAL CREEPS!
Race is a personal friend of mine, so I know that all of the negative feedback is rooted in fear and/or jealousy. How do I know this? Because anyone who actually knows Race knows that he is one of the most genuine, selfless, and balanced individuals you will ever have the pleasure of meeting. There is no pretention. There is no bravado. There is absolutely nothing false about him. He is simply himself, and that is what draws people to him. He never lies, nor is he ever dishonest with anyone. Ever. That's more than can be said for anonymous readers who like to compensate for their own fears and insecurities by foisting them upon others. Some people will judge and make up stories, but the rest of us consider ourselves lucky to have Race as a friend.
If you haters actually know who race hooks up with, you will be 1000 times more jealous than you already do. Dont be mean to ppl that get laid just bc you jerk off watching anime porn . :)
Great piece! I'm glad to see many positive and negative comments. I'm one of the guys that want to improve myself. I did take the Art of Charm couse early on when they just started. I would say from my experience that I'm improve so much in everyway of mylife. I met Race sometime last year and we became close friend. If you said you know Race and didn't like him, then it's your lost :) We are positive and fun group of friend. So far the good people whome we met in our life love us. who wouldn't?
Anyhow I expect the follow up article in the near future ;)
All of you haters obviously haven't seen the man in action (or you have perhaps been burned because he didn't want to marry you after your one night stand)! Frustrated women--there is hope! The AoC offers courses for the ladies too!
EXCUSE ME but Race is a joke of a kid from Las Vegas. Why would anyone be jealous of him? He's not a celeb by any means and the only girls he can probably get into threesomes are girls from trailer parks who are white trash. If your a personal friend of his your probably just as fucking ugly as Race is so you can stop posting because its not worth disputing. I also know someone who personally hooked up with Race and knows for a FACT that his penis is the size of a peanut. Sucks to be him.
Haha, I've really enjoyed these comments, particularly the last one. I have news for you, LT, I've hooked up with Race myself. Excuse my crassness, but he's got an enormous cock!! I have no reason to lie about it and the only reason I responded to your comments was because you so clearly do not have any first hand knowledge of the man and I thought I would set the record straight. He must have turned you down!! lol! Race, you are beautiful!!
I've got news for you MSJ - you may think he has a big cock but he lasts for about .5 seconds. and not to mention that your probably a dude who race paid to write this. nobody knows him. he's an uuuugly loser and he didn't turn me down he practically raped my face so thanks.
WoW this is getting fun! Ha ha you reader can lookup Race profile. JT & LT (probably the same person) we forgive you! now get on with your life.
MR: well said!
and.. this was a great article
- amazing best guy
Hey girl..I'm not sure who slept with you in our crew but we obviously had an amazing never called you back..sorry bout that..
Call me! ;)
Race's penis is over 9,000!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!!
<3
That is some awesome stuff. One thing that hit me hard in that article, is that it's not all about a quick fix and that self improvement should be a consistent daily thing for us, while making out with models and texting five different girls at the same time :)
To each their own, and we should make every Journey fun. I know I am enjoying mine!
-Mike
Hey Everybody Race here,
Wow I had no idea this article would stir up so many emotions and quite so much discussion. Let me first thank you all for taking the time to read this. Diana is a fantastic writer and I appreciate her time working with me on the many interview and all the ideas we shared. She is a genuinely curious person with a big heart. Of course, not all those ideas could be fit into one article. Parts were left out and so it is easy to draw one's own conclusions. I am more than happy to go into more details on any of the subjects discussed in this article so that they can be better understood. You can find me on facebook by searching Race de Priest. For those of you who were offended, I am confident it arose out of a fundamental misunderstanding. However, in the end I must respectfully allow you to have a differing view on life. It is all these different views that provide the discussion so desperately needed to move us forward in our quest to be happy, healthy and loving individuals.
cheers,
Race
love this article, so honest and refreshing. where can i find a man like this?
i love the AoC boys, and i have a vagina. these things are not mutually exclusive. they rock and have taught me SO much about men, value, and love. --NORA
The AOC guys are pathetic!!! lol They run around NYC like big shoots but don't have anything to show for. They're always drunk and pick up on chicks. Race and Jordan are creepy and not very smart if you talk to them. lol There is a guy who's a total rock start wanna be. I think his name is John who's an old drunk and looks like he's about 40 lol No good woman will ever go for idiots like that. They tried to give me pointers but if you're not in a good relationship then you can't teach other people how to be in one.
Fyi, Race no longer works for The Art of Charm. I guess they finally figured out that he is a creep, which doesn't fall in line with what they teach. Race is a sad and empty alcoholic that will never be happy.
Wow TFM! you put everything in words for me bro. and Those people with the negative feedback , you have no idea but a big grip amount of people, myself want to improve themselves ... CONFIDENCE doesn't come from feeding off of women!! It all comes from really getting to know yourself, What you want out of this world, and your abilities to improve yourself, the world and everybody including YOU!
Race this is a great article, glad to hear you are teaching others how to live their awesome life in this world. Everyone deserves it.
-PEACE OUT
Found some cool stuff here http://www.gamerfuse.com Guild Wars Factions “Guild Wars Factions” is the second standalone campaign in the “Guild Wars” series. It introduces the continent of Cantha, where Luxons and Kurzicks are in a war. Like the original “Guild Wars Prophecies,” “Factions” continues the tradition of remaining free-to-play after purchase, and of putting player groups in instanced mission areas rather than a global, shared map.
“Guild Wars Factions” has the same classes as “Prophecies” – Warrior, Ranger, Monk, Elementalist, Necromancer, and Mesmer – but also introduces two new classes: Assassin and Ritualist. EXP gains in “Factions” are also faster than “Prophecies,” and much of “Factions'” land is designed for level 20 characters.
Previous “Guild Wars” game(s) are not required to play.
Now you say something