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September 17, 2009
Early into my sexual experience, when a friend-with-benefits type lovingly christened me "Swimming Pool," I realized I wasn't like the other girls.
"You mean that doesn't happen to everyone?" I asked incredulously.
"Not even close."
Over the years partners have given me various other mortifying noms de guerre: Puddles, Betsy Wetsy, The Nile. I'll admit, I'm a little enthusiastic. I leave a parting gift, a souvenir if you will: a telltale stain that reads, "I Slept with Jenn and All I Got Was This Crappy Wet Spot." Yes, it's a little embarrassing, but is it really that big of a deal?
I've never ceased to be amazed by how many men answer that question "Yes!" Each new response gave me a little more insight into the man's psyche. Something as minor as a little female ejaculate always had to turn into a whole song and dance, complete with props and choreography of Broadway caliber. A few of the responses:
Just as things got good, the lights were flipped on and out came the oversized beach towels.
Mr. Blue Cross Goo-Shield
As soon as my jeans were around my ankles, like clockwork, Goo-Shield would spring into action, as if setting up for a picnic. Just as things got good, the lights were flipped on and out came the oversized beach towels, carefully laid over any surface on which I might wind up spread-eagle. I had two main issues with Goo's towel-shield approach: aside from making me feel like my come was liquid leprosy, there's something fundamentally wrong with having sex on terrycloth depicting Garfield the cat eating a pan of lasagna.
Of course, there were days when we ran out of towels (as meticulous as this guy was about his stupid sheets, he did not do laundry nearly enough). On these occasions, I was relegated to the bathroom floor where any remnants of our romp could be easily mopped up. What did I learn from this experience? Avoid anyone over twenty who still has Garfield and Power Rangers beach towels.
Mr. Innocent By-Stander
Mr. By-Stander was obviously not destined to be a physics major. His brilliant plan was to do everything, everything, standing up. I tried to argue the whole concept of gravity, but he, in the sophisticated language of high-school guys, countered that I would feel "it" dripping down my leg so I could take care of "it" before "it" got onto the carpet.
Right.
It had been years since I'd quit gymnastics, but necessity dictated that my flexibility return relatively quickly. Within a week I was able to balance on one leg while resting the other on his shoulder and supporting myself against the wall... all so he could put his finger in me.
Can you tell how much I enjoyed this?
Every time I let out so much as a whimper of satisfaction, he got all paranoid, stammering: "Are you coming? Is it dripping? Don't let it get on my floor! My mom cleans my room!"
We had sex only once — standing up, of course — and I'm fairly confident that I lost all circulation in my left leg. The relationship did not last long. I could manually manipulate myself without morphing into a contortionist. And more importantly, if a guy's mom was still cleaning his room, I didn't want to be in it.
Commentarium (55 Comments)
Jesus H, where were the high school teachers like this when I was 17?
Your fwb had problems w this? Really? Good lord, what's wrong w them!
Where are you finding these people? I have never had a dude who had an issue with this shit and I can squirt. The wet spots are more like trophies.
You know I don't like a wet spot either... right!! I had a girlfriend who had excessive come and the best way to avoid the spillage on the sheets was to have her spillage on my face!!! Come on people a girl who squirts is proof that God exists and wants us to be happy. It's a wonderful thing so ladies please SOAK AWAY!!
I'll second what mw says... SOAK AWAY! I've loved every excessively wet experience!
OMG! Love this! I leave HUGE puddles all the time. :) Most of the guys I've been with took it as a sign of a job well done.
Man, these guys you dated were lame. How could anyone construe the effects of arousal as a problem? Were they as meticulous about not splooging anywhere?
I'm a member of that club.never had any complaints..well since it was usually MY bed ..how could they..though I do tend to bring out the towels myself..and yes..it has hello kitty on it...nothing like the forces of evil getting its fair share!
Come on guys! Learn how to use a washing machine and learn to enjoy the sweet wetness, wherever it ends up.
I dated a girl with this same talent. I found it extremely sexy.
Thank you for a great article, I made my loving "flowing" wife read it because she is always ashamed of the puddles. Now she knows others have these gusshers and aren't ashamed! Thanks!!
I dated a lady who squirted when we had sex. It was a real turn on!
We got an "Amrita pad" from a tantra school - waterproof, but much nicer than plastic - and we cover it with an extra fitted sheet. Have AWESOME time, release pints of liquid love, then remove upper sheet and pad, and sleep comfortably in dry bed. As the man in this relationship, I feel highly blessed.
It took me years to convince my wife that: 1.) She was not peeing, 2.) It was a good thing and 3.) I LIKED washing my face in it! I'll take wet any day over someone who is so disinterested as to always need lube. I pity those women who do not generate enough wet. There is NEVER too much wet.
I've been told on many occasions that I am the wettest girl they have had. I take it as a compliment seeing how not a single one of them has ever complained and in fact seem to feel proud and take my ultra wetness as a major compliment to themselves. Those guys you met were awful!
Just gotta chime in as another wet girl ... I've never gotten any complaints from guys at all! Most are amazed and proud at the quantity of fluid that they "got me" to produce. I'm married now, and my husband views it as proof of "the more the merrier."
I had gf that was quite wet, LOVED getting it on my face, and in my mustache! glad you found somebody who loves women; you want dry, get a doll...
Oh man, Jennifer Rhodes is THE PERFECT WOMAN.
What drives me crazy is when a girl holds back. I know how to get a girl to come and to gush, and I like doing it. OBVIOUSLY. But man, it's so frustrating when a girl holds back out of some feeling of guilt or embarrassment. She's not frustrating, but the situation is.
you sleep with high school boys, and call it an insight into the male psyche?
you write really well, though.
Doesn't it feel to loose?
It's never been a problem for me, and I would be honored for you to wet my bed anytime! Good job puddles!
to AD, she said one of the dudes was over 40!
I used to be a gusher. Now, two years into menopause, I barely get wet. My boyfriend went to the doctor for a sore on his penis, and the doctor said it was from not enough lubrication! Enjoy it while you've got it, because it's a drag when you have to use that artificial crap.
I wasn't too impressed with this article... Until I saw your photo. Then my shallow side came out and I suddenly realized how much I would love the opportunity to be a horrible lay who leaves you completely dry and hence even more memorable!
My ex was completely unable to get naturally wet, and was very ashamed of it, the poor girl - but that never stopped us, and the opposite never stopped me either. Just enjoy that you don't have to spring for lube or use tons of spit just to have a quick romp ;)
i'm an oozer. my wife is an oozer. the answer is 69.
dwp has the right approach! all the more fun if you ask me!
great article!
Seems like the problem here is not excessive wetness, but sleeping with assholes.
The first time I encountered a gusher, I was utterly stoked. It felt like victory. Without the squirt, you can never really be sure she wasn't faking it. Come the come, you know she came. Like I said...victory.
Something wrong with any male who worries overly about his sheets getting a little wet from sex... really...
hey i'm heading to l.a. soon, let's get together. let the amrita flow baby flow. gush away. hydraulic action. :p
I guess I don't identify, she's pretty hot though
More from her!
this seems a bit,. er, moot. c'mon, darlin. we're not high schoolers, even if you teach it. this seems like a cautionary tale to avoid assholes, which we already heard many times. yawn.
Why would you sleep with people who treat you like this? How degrading.
yummy
I have been with several incredibly wet women, and each one is a joy. There is nothing as ego building as a woman so wet she is soaking. I do have to say though, after almost drowning, please warn a person.
I've never made a big deal about it. We'll worry about sheets and so forth later--who needs sheets anyways? And with this girl I'm gonna complain about her cumming? Yeah right! Total fox, dude, no way I'll complain about anything except maybe that we don't fuck enough, because I'd want to get my licks in while I could. Yep, I'd do that too.
i have had this problem too...definitely dump them and move on, like the girl says!
To:sca ..and and exactly where can I get one of those amrita pads? My girlfriend and I are in need - towels are a drag and frankly inadequate if you're going to be rolling around! Website address?
Loved this one! Let's see more of Jenn's writing here!
To mjk - you definitely do not have a problem !!
This bitch sounds like she doesn't even give a shit about leaving her splooge everywhere. If a guy splooged on HER sheets, he would have to clean it up and/or wash it, right? That's fucked up. Just bc you are hot...and you are...it is very inconsiderate to act like it's no big deal. However, these guys you were with were assholes too. What a surprise, a hot girl with an asshole.
To all female gushers out there that have men in their lives like the douches described here - dump their unappreciative asses. There are men out there that absolutely LOVE gushing. My man will drink it and ask for more. And he's precious to me for it, because I love my sexuality as much as he appreciates it. As for the wet spot? Very simple - buy a waterproof mattress cover. I got mine at Sleep Country and after having been thrown in the washer and dryer hundreds of times, it's still like new. I'm not about to stop myself from fully enjoying my orgasms just because some effette douchebag doesn't like my girlie juices.
What can be more beautiful than a woman who shows how much she really likes her guy by really relaxing and letting go during sex. Be as wet as you can, babe, it's incredibly intimate and trusting and sexy and I as a guy I would feel honoured to be part of your pleasure.
Hate to burst your bubble SM, but squirting does not always mean coming. I am a sometime squirter and it often happens with orgasm, but sometimes happens just during arousal. And no, I haven't had any complaints, people seem to like it. :)
It sounds like you need one of these http://www.liberator.com/eng/product/fascinator-throes/10342
I've meet a few squirters. I love it, esp up close. But I know it does mean a bit more prep, because some women seriously leave a big puddle. The intense orgasms make up for the mess, but it wrecks the mattress after a while.
Good luck with finding understanding partners ladies.
That is so fucking hot ! My girlfriend gets super,super wet for me, and it gets my cock super hard for her. I love "dipping" in her honeypot ! That's where I take my finger and just slide it in after she's wet and then pull it out and lick it all over. I always wanted a chick who could spray like me. I never thought it was real though when I saw it in porn films. I always thought they were just peeing.
Now you say something