True Stories: First Love America

My road trip with my boyfriend taught me a lot about love — just not what I expected to learn.

by Rachel Krantz

"You guys have been dating for five months? And you're going to live out of a car together for how long?" That was the reaction we usually got when we told people about our summer road-trip plans. And as we stared out of opposite windows at the endless rows of corn, it was starting to seem like a valid point. My boyfriend Ethan and I were just two weeks into our romantic journey, but the honeymoon was definitely over. We'd started to fight — or not so much fight as just annoy each other, without the release of actual arguments.

Ethan was a slow and deliberate traveler. I was more spontaneous and emotional. In other words, we were the same people we'd been before, amplified by travel. I wanted to discover the country through late nights at dive bars and adventures with strangers. Ethan wanted for us to be happy, and to stay at least a little on schedule. We'd set out for the same memory-of-a-lifetime journey. We just had different maps.

And then, there was the problem of the project: First Love America. We'd come up with the idea just a few months after we'd met: what if we took all summer to drive cross-country and collected America's first-love stories? People would tell us the story of their first love, and we'd record them. I had a background in radio and a job I wanted to quit; he had the summers off. The idea was simple and sweet, just like our new relationship.

Once we were on the road, it became clear that the project was at once ruining and making our trip. It was fascinating to talk to strangers and get so many memories on tape. It was also stressful and emotionally exhausting. We were stunned at how ready people were to unload on us — most people talked for close to an hour. Every first-love story was different. Some were funny, some were boring, and some were downright profound. But all the stories we heard shared one common trait: in one way or another, the experience had scarred the person telling us about it. The scar wasn't always painful, but if they were really talking about their first love, it was always there. 

It turns out your first love is a lot like the family you're born into. It doesn't have to define the rest of your life, but it certainly determines the way you see your chances.

 

Werner was an old German man who gave free sailboat rides in Minneapolis. We went out on the water with him at sunset. Out on the lake, he spoke slowly, like he was telling a ghost story. He'd lost his mother in the war; twenty years later, his wife left him. It was unclear which woman was his first love, or who had broken his heart more. He spoke softly, breaking the bad news of his past to Ethan and me, the innocents. Each sentence seemed to take minutes to ripple out across the water:

"One morning, she said in a nice friendly voice, 'Werner, it's not going to work out.' But guess what? I did not hear her friendly voice. It took me many years to figure out why. I was five years old when my mom left me... So my wife stayed. I couldn't bear the pain. I pleaded. One day, I remember, I saw her leave the house. She left, and when she said goodbye, she had to walk down some steps to her car. It was like freeing a bird and seeing her fly..."

When his story was done, we sat silently, rocking on the dark water. Some fireworks went off over the lake. Werner looked at us with that hope the old who know better put into the young who don't.

"So how does it feel to have met Prince Charming?" he asked me, completely serious.

I paused, choosing my words carefully, not wanting to break both of their hearts.

"Ethan isn't my Prince Charming," I told Werner. "He's my Real Person. And that makes me love him more."

Commentarium (19 Comments)

Mar 16 12 - 4:17am
AJ

Many scenes in that story tugged on my heart. Very enjoyable nostalgic read. I especially liked the "feeling like a fraud imagery," I have definitely felt that exposed feeling.

Mar 16 12 - 1:40pm
Indy

Rating: Best Nerve Story that I skimmed.

Mar 16 12 - 2:14pm
86

"It turns out your first love is a lot like the family you're born into. It doesn't have to define the rest of your life, but it certainly determines the way you see your chances."

what an excellent line.

Mar 19 12 - 11:43pm
Young

So true.

Mar 16 12 - 5:47pm
Kat

I enjoyed this story. I feel like I'm going through something similar, figuring out that my boyfriend isn't the one for me (though with less awesome travel and cool love stories).

Mar 16 12 - 7:33pm
MS

Great story. Nerve, your quality is on the up and up.

Mar 16 12 - 11:45pm
Shannon

"the innocents" hahaha!!

Mar 16 12 - 11:58pm
Tessa Hanna

This is really beautiful.

Mar 17 12 - 3:39am
Hey, so

where's the project? Link please! Or... don't tell me you wasted those people's time and did nothing with it!

Mar 18 12 - 12:58pm
Rachel Krantz

Hey, so. Thanks for reading. Here's a link to First Love America's website. The final project is still a work in progress. http://firstloveamerica.com/

Mar 19 12 - 11:45pm
Young

Hey, so, you clearly didn't read the story well. The link is right there :).

Mar 20 12 - 12:34pm
Rachel Krantz

Nope, that was my bad. We added the link in afterwards because of this comment.

Mar 17 12 - 11:51am
ibg

beautifully written.

Mar 17 12 - 12:04pm
CMA

"It turns out your first love is a lot like the family you're born into. It doesn't have to define the rest of your life, but it certainly determines the way you see your chances." - Amazing line, great story.

Mar 17 12 - 3:43pm
B Bush

Kids, don't do drugs.

Mar 17 12 - 5:12pm
Jeremy

There's a Tahar Ben Jelloun story that this lovely piece reminds me of: "Le premier amour est toujours le dernier."

Mar 19 12 - 9:35am
whambs

gorgeous

Mar 20 12 - 12:49pm
cd

WOW! a little of all of us in this beautifully written piece.

Jul 13 12 - 8:32am
Sara

Man...this was really good.