Natalie burst out into laughter as soon as the door to her room closed, and I quickly followed suit as soon as her mom left the house. She grabbed her phone and I watched her send out the following text: "My mom just caught Markham banging me standing doggy style and freaked out. I don't know what her problem is — it's not like she caught him giving me a facial or something!" I was giggling and sending a similar text when the reality of the situation hit me. Did we have to break up? Could I ever look her mom in the eye again?

I looked at Natalie, who was still laughing. "This isn't funny! Your mom probably hates me now."

"Why? She knows I have sex, and that's what she gets for not knocking first. This is my house too. I pay rent here."

I stared at her. She shrugged her shoulders. "I think I don't care because I already came."

"But she caught us having sex standing doggy style!"

"Ugh, it's just sex. She's probably just a little embarrassed. It'll blow over. You're not going to be a weirdo about this, are you? Oh my God, did you see the look on her face?"

Seconds later the room was drowning in our laughter. Laughter turned into kissing, and, well, minutes later we were back at it again. 

I stayed for about forty-five minutes after we finished having sex and then bolted from the house, or rather, I snuck out of the house, hoping I wouldn't run into her mom on the way out. When I was on my way home I got a text from Natalie saying that her mom had apologized for not knocking. Still, I avoided the house for almost a week. At one point I really thought this might destroy our budding relationship, given how apprehensive I felt about having any future contact with her mom.

We went out again a few days later. This time, I wasn't planning on going back to her place, but she enticed me, saying, "If you don't come over, we won't be able to have sex for a few more days. I'll set my alarm and you can get up before my mom does."

Unfortunately, her mom got up early, and we forgot to set the alarm anyway. We heard her mom puttering around downstairs, and I waited until she went back upstairs to leave her room; Natalie wanted me to stay and have breakfast, but I just wanted to escape. I was in the kitchen putting on my sneakers when I heard her mom yell something downstairs in Japanese, which Natalie translated: "My mom wants to know if it's cool if she comes downstairs. She doesn't want you to feel embarrassed."

At that point I realized I was being kind of ridiculous. This was her mother's home, and she was asking me if it was okay if she came downstairs because she didn't want to embarrass me. I said it was fine; I stopped putting on my sneakers and sat down at the table to have breakfast. 

Natalie's mom came downstairs, and, needless to say, the incident never came up. Instead, she just asked me typical mother questions: how many siblings did I have, what did my parents do, what did I do for work, etc. It was really the first time we'd had a real conversation. About a week later we all went out for dinner, and a few months after that we went on a weekend trip together. Instead of asking me if I could bear to see her in the morning, she was making me traditional Japanese food for breakfast. 

It's weird now to remember that I thought this incident would drive a wedge between Natalie and me. Instead I feel like my relationship with Natalie truly began in earnest after that point. I'm not saying that the key to winning over your girlfriend's stoic mother is to have her catch you having sex; just noting that there are people with stoic facades who are actually quite jovial, happy, and accepting on the inside. Maybe the "incident" forced us to break through a touch faster.

Still, her mom won't even come near Natalie's room if the door is closed. She won't even knock. She just sends a text message.

Want to meet someone with an open-minded mother? Head for Nerve Dating.